song: wasted times by the weeknd
"Nothing, it's stupid I'm sorry if I interrupted you"
"She's not here anymore, we can talk"
Do I tell him? Should I tell him the truth? Is it worth explaining everything, if he's not coming back anyway? I miss him... and I miss us, but does he still wants me? You weren't sure, you've never been unsure of anything in your entire life.
No.
You won't tell him, it wouldn't make a difference at this point. For fuck's sake, he literally told you he was banging another girl when you called him. It was wise not to tell him, just act clueless.
"Remember when you said I could call this number whenever I felt.."
"Overwhelmed, yeah I remember"
He.. remembers?
"I.. found out something, and it's really mind fucking, I don't even know why I'm telling you this it's so dumb"
"Go on"
"And I just.. I just can't wait to move out this fucking place already, in fact, I wanna leave the planet, vanish until the people here aren't so vicious"
You heard his heavy breathing on the other line, but you went on talking. "It's getting so hard.. I fucking hate my school, my classmates, my stupid quirk, I hate you.. and I hate me!"
"I hate myself"
On Dabi's end, he listened to you carefully. And for the first time, he wasn't high and drunk, but completely sober and hearing you.
"I hate that nothing about me is real, everyone wants to me somebody different, and it's so difficult.. without you here Dabi.. fuck" You cursed, quickly cleaning the tears and sniffing lowly. Dabi still doesn't answer. "It hasn't even been a year and you fucked me up, you fucked me up pretty bad, huh? It feels like I'm talking like a wall" You keep talking and talking, letting all the emotions break away.
"And I feel the only bit of family growing farther and farther everyday"
"(Y/n)"
"During all this time, I just wanted you here, with me, it's selfish but I don't care"
"(Y/n)"
"I feel so lonely without you here.. Like everyone ignores me, everyone sees this polished image of me and it's sickening"
"(Y/n)"
"What"
"You know I didn't cheat on you, right?"
And that was when you came undone, hiding your face in your hands. You told yourself so many times that he wasn't going to find out, he shouldn't find out. Just the simple sentence broke you apart. Your voice cracked, eventually lost with all the silent crying.
"Fuck, don't cry, princess"
You didn't hear well, perhaps you had cancelled all noise. You weeped and weeped, it looked pathetic. He probably didn't know the full story but he knows better than anyone that he never cheated on you.
"Why did you say you fucked her... Dabi, why?"
"I did sleep with her, but it was wayyy before we even met"
"Why wouldn't you say that? Why make me believe that you cheated?"
Dabi sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. It had been a while since talking to you, he almost forgot how it was having a conversation with his first ex. "To be honest, I don't like complicated, relationships are complicated, I don't want it, I guess that when you brought that cheating stuff up I didn't wanna waste my energy fighting anymore, I let it be" He confessed and you bit your lip hard, you didn't want it to be true, none of it.
"So you used it as an excuse to break u-up?" You asked, analyzing his words before proceeding to cry a little more. "No, baby—(Y/n), it's me, okay? I'm as shitty as they come, you did both of us a favor, we're just not fit to be together, we want different things" Your chest hurt, it hurt with every agonizing word that left his mouth. Your heart ached horribly, like a migraine or maybe even a fresh cut. This was one-sided, it always was.
"(Y/n)? Are you still there?" He asks, noticing the obvious silence that had taken over. "Honestly, I.. I don't know what to say, Dabi. I'm the fool, for such a good student I'm dumb. Maybe if I was prettier, maybe a bit different, you would like me, maybe.." You went on to say, slowly touching your arms. "Princess, shut the fuck up, don't do anything stupid, I'm coming over" He says sharply and you hear the car move.
"No Dabi, you don't have to do that, you don't have to pretend to care anymore"
"(Y/n)"
"Just don't"
He was toxic, you knew that, more than anyone else. You believed there was a part of him that wanted you but each time you search for more you end up with more doubts. But it was his distorted self that you wanted anyway, the fucked up and disturbed Dabi.
"Okay, I'm hanging up now"
Wait.. don't go. Not yet.
"Wait"
"What?"
You reached out for the weed Overhaul sold to you and opened it, "I bought.. um some weed from Chisaki and I..". "Don't know how to do it, right, call me through facetime" You swallowed hard at the thought of him seeing your face, but you called him regardless. You positioned the phone on a textbook nearby and fixed yourself.
"Don't, you look cute"
"Stop saying those nice things"
He chuckled lowly and you continue to tuck the loose strands of hair back and rubbing your puffy eyes. You managed to get a good angle and you opened the box, taking out all the items inside. "Isn't it easier if I just go there? I literally live next to you" He proposed once again and you shook your head, "That wouldn't be good, at least for me, I just got rejected" You joked, trying to lighten your mood.
And shortly enough, you two were talking like friends again. He would burst out laughing because you didn't know how to use the grinder, and messed up every time you tried rolling. It was both healing and hurtful having him, and you were convinced that after a while, your heart could take anything after this.
"Great, now you light it up at the end, princess"
"Yeah, yeah, I've seen you do that" You mumbled and turned on the lighter, gently using it and inhaling. You blew the smoke out the window and laid back, Dabi's face still on the phone. "I can't believe you called me why you were having sex with a girl, talk about being a hoe" You blurted out, not giving a care anymore. The worst had already happened.
"Well I couldn't just ignore a call from you"
"Oh you've done worse that not pick up a call"
"What can I say? I didn't expect for you to call me ever again"
"Were you surprised when you saw me and Overhaul?'
"Was I not supposed to? You were about to make out with my drug dealer"
You finally laughed, taking another hit. "Oh wait, I have one here, hold on so we can get high together" He suddenly says and you look at him look for something in his car and see his blue flame give light. "Fucking stoner" You cursed at him and both of you inhaled in unison, "Speak for yourself, Mrs. Overhaul". "And you really wanna tell me you're not jealous about that?" You grinned at him, but deep down the answer was that he wasn't.
"I don't have to answer that question"
"Why not?"
"Like I said, he's my weed dealer"
"I'll make sure to make out with him in your face next time I pass by the Wave"
"Do it, whatever"
His tone was getting more and more annoyed, what reason? You assumed he didn't like your teasing. "How's your dad?" Dabi asks and you say he's been spending a lot of time in the office, more exhausted than usual. "I'm assuming he hates my guts" He jokes and you giggle, smoke emitting for your mouth, "No, he knows the truth about you not cheating me".
"And how do you know I didn't cheat?"
"I don't have to answer that question"
"We're really playing that game?"
"Fine, Hawks and Rumi orchestrated everything, those fuckers"
"I always knew they were shittier than me"
"Tell me about it"
The hours went on, the both of you had finished all you had and you watched him talk through the camera, while you rested on your bed.
"I'm going to be honest, I don't want the call to end"
"Princess"
"If the call ends, this ends"
"You're always so dramatic"
You remained quiet, letting the high run through your body. Your eyes were stuck on Dabi, who was still sitting in his car at the bar's parking. He stayed for you, he could be drinking and getting wasted inside, but he chose you over it. And instead of overthinking it, you smiled at the thought.
"Princess...? Did you fall asleep?" "I swear.. this girl"
A part of him also didn't wanna hang up, so he put down the phone and drove out. Neither of you ended the call that night, and in the morning the face time crashed.