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I hope you enjoyyyy!!!
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"There are some who say psychopaths are born and sociopaths are made. That's not completely correct. While it's true that psychopathy is believed to have genetic components—perhaps caused by the underdevelopment of the parts of the brain that regulate emotion and impulsiveness—there are other factors that contribute to the behavioral disorder," Professor Davis explained, tying his long dreads into a bun.
I typed notes into my laptop as he spoke about different things that could make a person into a psychopath.
"Some studies into psychopathy suggest that psychopaths often have a history of an unstable family life and/or were raised in poorer neighborhoods prone to violence," my professor said, turning to face the class. "Many have had parents who were substance abusers and who failed to provide parental guidance or attention," he said, his eyes stopping on me.
I squirmed in my seat a bit as he stared deep into my pupils from across the classroom, and turned my attention back down onto my laptop. Why'd he look at me like that so suddenly..?
"This merely translates to unstable and failed relationships in adulthood," he said, making me look back up at him. Upon seeing that he was still focused on me, I wondered if he was directing that towards me and Giorgi.
Suddenly, my professor had lifted his glasses and narrowed his eyes at me for a short while before dropping his glasses back onto his nose while arching an eyebrow, and then continuing with his lesson.
What the hell...? I've been in this class for five months. Surely, he's not just now recognizing me...
"Contrary to what movies, TV series, books, and other media suggests, the majority of these people diagnosed with psychopathy are not violent criminals. Hear, understand and remember that. Hollywood is bullshit and you cannot believe everything the media tells you."
I typed that into my notes and pulled out my phone after it vibrated in my front right pocket; Giorgi had texted me and sent me a screenshot of some text messages between him and Gill. Another message popped up as I'd skimmed over their texts, reading: "I told him to apologize for constantly picking at you and to stop bringing up stupid shit to try to make you upset. Let me know if he does or not, okay?"
"Okay. Thank you for putting up with our childish quarreling," I replied, adding a red heart emoji before pressing send.
"It's only childish on his part," my boyfriend responded with two red hearts, making me smile.
"What are some tell-tale signs of a psychopath, you all ask? Well, I'll tell you. Psychopaths can be superficially charming, self-absorbed, easily bored, manipulative, impulsive, sexually promiscuous, and highly intelligent. Psychopaths also lack empathy, they show no remorse or guilt, they do not have any respect for authority—including the law, and will always justify their wrongdoings."
Cooper.
I flinched at the sudden image of him on my mind and frowned as I continued to type notes into a Google document, and slowly began to realize that many of the characteristics a psychopath would have, Cooper did.
He was always so nice and charming when we first met, but the more I got to know him, the more his real, selfish, arrogant and manipulative personality revealed itself. He hurt me and abused my lack of social skills when we first introduced ourselves to each other, and he manipulated me into thinking that his perverted and forced sexual actions weren't being used against me because he wanted to hurt me but because he loved me. He always justified hurting me with "I love you" or by pinning the blame on myself, and he used to trick me into giving my body to him by using his superficial charm and an empty apology because "he couldn't help himself around me". Whenever I refused to strip for him he'd become angry and would force me to undress by ripping my clothes or hurting me. He never showed any remorse for abusing me the way he did. Not when Giorgi found out, and not even after he was arrested. He never admitted or showed the tiniest bit of guilt either. Instead, he stood by his actions as a proud man.
"Psychopaths are extremely smart. They have a very high IQ. It's a fact that they have higher IQs on average than the general population. They often take risks and are not fazed by failure," Professor Davis explained.
Does that mean Cooper—if he's a psychopath—only sees his imprisonment as a failure? Because he definitely didn't seem fazed. When Giorgi and I visited him two years ago we both noticed that he had seemed to have forgotten that he was in prison. He was speaking with us in a disturbingly easygoing manner, like we'd all been sitting at a table in a park or something. He didn't acknowledge the handcuffs on his wrists once.
"Let's remember, a lack of empathy does not always mean intent to do harm... Just be aware that psychopaths are interested only in their own gain," my professor said, sighing as he wrote what he'd just said onto the chalkboard. "They may be charming and affectionate just long enough to establish intimacy and then suddenly become abusive, unfaithful, and manipulative."
Cooper was wildly unfaithful to Erin... but I was also unfaithful to him. Although we never dated, I promised him that I was only his multiple times meanwhile I snuck kisses and cuddles from Giorgi...
No! That doesn't count as unfaithfulness, according to my therapist. Since Cooper was in a relationship with another person that wasn't okay with the idea of an open relationship or him being so kissy-touchy with anyone else but her, he technically broke the promise the moment he made it. We agreed to only be each other's. By never breaking up with Erin, he broke the vow of only being mine immediately. My therapist also said I had no business feeling so guilty for messing around with Giorgi since Cooper and I were always only friends that kissed sometimes. There was no cheating of any sort on my part. I simply did something that Cooper didn't like.
"Does everyone have this junk noted down?" Professor Davis inquired while messily erasing the chalkboard. Several of my classmates grumbled about how rude he was for asking the question if he wasn't going to give anyone time to write anything down, but the teacher merely chuckled and continued to erase the notes. "You should all be writing as I speak. There's no time or reason for you to fall behind if you do that. Quit staring at me while I teach and you'll do better."
I chuckled to myself as the teacher scolded us students, knowing that it was hard for us not to look at him. The man had flawless brown skin, long black and brown dreads that he sometimes decorated with beads or pulled back with a bright scrunchie, a dominant scowl, a nicely groomed short beard, large, toned arms that threatened to burst through his buttoned shirts, long meaty legs that usually hid behind his podium, and he always wore a pair of black brow-line glasses. The man was absolutely stunning and he knew it. And he knew that being so stunning, it was damn near impossible for my classmates not to look at him while he taught.
Luckily for me, I could type without looking at my keyboard, so I was able to take in the gorgeous man's beauty and keep up with his teachings.
"That being said," he began loudly. "Let's move on!"
I readied my fingers over my keys, waiting for my teacher to speak, and couldn't help but frown when he'd silently turned towards me and stared for a while.
"Professor...?" A student up front mumbled.
His gaze didn't budge as he started teaching, and I began feeling angry with the professor for acting so strangely. "A sociopath is a person with a personality disorder that manifests itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior, and a lack of conscience."
Professor Davis suddenly turned around to write some notes on his chalkboard and I grumpily typed them into my laptop.
"Sociopathy tends to be associated with harmful childhood experiences, including sexual abuse, physical violence, or parental instability," he said, placing a fist on his hip while he wrote. "Sociopaths have a conscience, albeit a weak one, and will often justify something they know to be wrong. By contrast, psychopaths will believe that their actions are justified and feel no remorse for any harm done."
After typing everything that I needed, I grabbed my phone and texted my boyfriend. "I've got something to rant to you about during lunch."
He quickly sent an eye-rolling emoji and then asked: "Is it about your sexy professor again?"
I smiled at his text and typed back: "Yes, but I promise this isn't about how sexy he is."
"It better not be. If you bring up how hot he looked today at all, I'm going to sit in your next class and make out with you every ten minutes," Giorgi texted.
"Is that supposed to be a punishment? I would love that," I replied.
"Your face would love that," my boyfriend sent with a squinting emoji.
I giggled to myself as I'd set my phone down and focused back onto my teacher.
"Sociopaths make it clear when they do not care how others feel, they behave in hot-headed and impulsive ways, are prone to fits of anger and rage, recognize their behavior but rationalize it, and can form emotional attachments, however it is difficult. Remember, sociopaths—just like psychopaths—are not always dangerous criminals. These people actually meld into society and are almost never noticed for their personality disorders. One person in every group of one hundred people meets all the clinical criteria of being a psycho- or sociopath. Think about that. That means we are walking through these halls with psychopaths and sociopaths everyday. They're everywhere. They're at grocery stores, they're at school, they're at work, at restaurants, hospitals, bowling alleys— They are everywhere."
My heart thumped faster as a small bit of panic had unsettled my nerves. Even though the professor had just told us that it was rare to come across a violent person with either personality disorder, I couldn't help but worry for Giorgi.
First Cooper shared pretty much every characteristic with a psychopath, then there was Tammy's crazy ass, and now—after thinking about it—Giorgi's friend Gill always seemed off to me. What if he's a sociopath?! He never cared when we got upset with him, he always rationalized picking at me with "it's just a joke" or "I'm making sure Cameron's good for Giorgi." It'd been two years and he still tried to make me upset with my boyfriend for having romantic pasts with people we knew and talked to on a regular basis.
I didn't care and wouldn't unless Giorgi ever decided to go and get back with someone that he used to date. There was no point in getting upset with him over his past when we were always happy together and couldn't wait to spend time with each other. He never showed any signs of lost interest in me, so I couldn't find a reason to care about his exes. Personally, I believed Gill was just looking for ways to break us up. But I couldn't figure out why.
Bzz!
I looked at the notification at the top of my phone's screen and frowned upon seeing that the Southern man had texted me: "Sorry."
With a roll of my eyes, I turned off my phone and turned my attention onto my professor who was already looking at me with a stern glare. I blew up my cheeks and huffed while shaking my head and typing some more notes into my laptop, and before I knew it, the large black man was quietly grunting while taking a seat beside me. My eyes grew wide at the sight of the gorgeous man sitting to my right, and my lips twitched embarrassingly as I'd silently stuttered.
The professor hadn't acknowledged my dumbfounded expression as he'd leaned back and crossed his arms behind his head, sighing while closing his eyes. "Do you mind if I teach from here for the rest of the class," he mumbled. Before I could answer, he proceeded loudly: "We'll be watching a few recorded interviews with psychopaths and sociopaths to wrap up today's class, and next time we see each other we'll go more into detail about how these people fit into society without their disorders being noticed!"
Upon explaining what we'd be doing, he reached into his pocket and grabbed a small remote before pressing a button that lowered a projector screen. Then, he reached back into his pocket and grabbed a second remote from which he pressed play and started the video.
After doing so, he stuffed the remote controls back into his pants and turned his head to face me with a sigh.
"Cameron Omartion, correct?" He asked.
I nodded and scrunched my eyebrows a bit. "I've been in your class for a long time. Are you just now noticing me?"
"That's right," Professor Davis said, making me frown. "Don't take it as me being rude or anything. I'm a college teacher. There's no reason for me to try to remember everyone's face when I see so many students."
"Okay..."
"Are you wondering why I'm sitting beside you?"
"And why you've been looking at me so much today. Yeah," I whispered.
"Well, you're the only one that seems deeply interested in the topic. I found that intriguing. I kept looking at you to see if you were still interested by my teaching, and I got upset when I saw that you'd been distracted by your phone."
"Why do you think I'm the only one that finds this lesson really interesting? How do you know that...she isn't interested," I asked, pointing at some random woman a few aisles ahead of where I sat.
"She's been on her phone the majority of the class. Everyone else has been doing the same if not staring at me or the board," Professor Davis scoffed.
"...Would staring at you or the board really mean they're not interested? Because I've been staring at you and the board most of the time—"
"But your hands are moving while you do. You're listening and learning unlike everyone else."
"Okay. So, you came over to sit beside me because you didn't appreciate that I—"
"I didn't appreciate that the only student actually learning and paying attention was texting and no longer focused on me. That's right," the beautiful man said simply, turning his eyes onto my laptop. "Jesus... I didn't think typed notes could look so sloppy..."
"Wh—?! They're not sloppy!" I defended, turning my laptop away from my teacher.
"Let me see them again," he said, calmly reaching for my computer. I hesitated to let him see my screen after ridiculing my notes, but when he'd turned his gorgeous brown eyes onto mine, I weakened and let him take my laptop.
"You don't have any sort of headers. No bigger, bolder fonts or anything to grab your attention. Would you want to read over something like this more than once? This is boring," he said softly. "Highlight some things that you found really shocking. Make some words bold to keep you entertained. Italicize some stuff. Just typing words isn't good enough. You're not going to want to study this over and over again. It's too mundane."
My cheeks burned as my teacher edited my notes, and I couldn't help but feel embarrassed. I was really proud of myself for being able to type so fast and jot everything that I needed down, but my professor had disliked them so much.
"There. Look," he said, sliding my laptop back over to me. My lips had parted when I saw how much better my notes looked. "Highlight a few things, make some key words bold and italicize some junk. All the different ways it looks, you'll find it more interesting to read over and over."
"Thank you," I mumbled.
"You're welcome," Professor Davis sighed, leaning back again. "Hey...do you want to know something?"
"What?"
"It's the real reason why I've been looking at you and why I'm sitting here..."
"What is it...?" I inquired.
"Well, part of the reason why I've doing all of this is because I'm just now recognizing you...but the other part is because..." The professor paused and a small frown had set on his face as he turned to look at me again. "I know you're Cooper Pacon's latest victim...and I want to apologize for not figuring out who you are before he did what he did to you."
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I hope you enjoyedddd!!!