Hello there my little rodents! Firstly I would like to thank joyjia1202 for letting me review their character! Secondly, thank you, reader, for clicking on my book, I really hope you appreciate it and keep on reading my chapters to come! <3
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Original name: Yang Guang
I've changed his name to Chen Xue
Name: Chen Xue (this is version 2.0 with major upgrades)
I couldn't decide whether to continue with a comedy theme or make him serious, so I decided to make him serious.
Fandom: Original
(This is a world in Ancient China with all the same imperial systems, but the people have magic. There are ghosts and demons that need to be defeated and a type of magic called "cultivation" that comes from a golden core. This golden core basically pumps spiritual energy into a person, and people can use this spiritual energy basically as anything. It's like electricity but cooler (they can move stuff, fly on swords, light lamps, blow stuff up, and the list can go on))
I like this premise a lot. I think it is a cool setting with a cool idea. Just be careful not to go into cliche territory.
Nicknames: Er Lang (this is his "identity" after the rebellion. Before the rebellion, only people close to him call him this. Means second brother)
Scum emperor (during and after the rebellion, he was pretty much the biggest piece of scum ever in other people's eyes)
I really like his nickname; is it based on the Chinese god Erlang Shang?
Gender: male
Age: 29 in the present storyline
Sexuality: bisexual/aromantic Ever since he was little, he didn't really feel romantic love, and although after his time as emperor, he is no longer a virgin, emotionally, he is still the virginest of virgins(most of the time, until he meets MWF)
I don't see much wrong with this, so he is romantic until he meets MFW? If that is the case how does he feel about his bisexuality? Does he keep it a secret? Is it a scandal? If so, how do his family and peers feel about it? How do the people feel about this?
Occupation: Not really anything, just a random farmer, at least in the present timeline
I think you should put that he is a former employer here as well.
Stats:
Strength (without spiritual energy): 2.5/5
Speed (without spiritual energy): ⅗
Intelligence(honestly depends): average is about ⅘- 4.5/5 if he can think clearly
I like his stats. He seems very balanced, especially for an Emporer character.
Weapons: WuMing sword (kind of really more like a toy sword, pretty much useless without spiritual energy in it, which is why Chen Xue abandons it after he gets poisoned)
Zai Meng necklace (a necklace that becomes magical after being soaked in spiritual energy from Chen Xue's older brother and mother. It is Chen Xue's only source of spiritual energy, and is probably the only reason he isn't dead)
I like this, however, I feel like you should leave out the part where it is useless and that he gets rid of it. I think this because you're pretty much giving away a story element to anyone who reads your character sheet, rather than letting the reader be surprised by his actions in your story. I would replace that part with just (kind of like a toy sword that becomes more powerful and weapon-like once spiritual energy is embued into it). Just a thought, but I do love the idea.
Personality(pre-blackening and post-blackening have a somewhat different personality): Chen Xue is known to be a pretty closed off and logical person who doesn't let his emotions get to him. This is because with all the emotional trauma he had gone through as a child, he didn't want to feel emotion, because pain and suffering were all that he could feel. He has learned to numb himself with entertainment and work. Additionally, he doesn't know how to handle other people being fond of him. Because barely anyone was fond of him, he didn't know how to deal with these emotions and express his gratitude, which makes him come off as an ungrateful asshole sometimes. When someone is kind to him, he wants to repay that kindness.
I would say to just be careful with this archetype because this type of personality tends to be used a lot when writing characters that are in high government positions.
He is cold and distant to most people, only opening up to people he can trust, which are few and far between. Due to his lack of human contact and healthy relationships, he distances himself from everyone and doesn't understand human emotion well. However, after years of observations as a child when he tried to see how normal people were, he is great at putting on facades and faking his own personality. However, this led to a disconnect from reality, and sometimes he can't tell whether he's putting on a facade or actually feeling emotions. When he was young, he found his life worthless and was willing to give it up for someone more worthy. However, after his blackening (getting poisoned) he stops thinking of the good in the world and becomes selfish. He puts his own interests in mind before others, and it isn't until the death of Hua XiRui(this will be explained later) when he comes to his senses and becomes a better person. Another aspect of post-blackening Chen Xue is that he is very paranoid. He thinks that he has worked extremely hard for everything he has and is unwilling to let anyone come near him. Pre-blackening Chen Xue was mostly pretty serious who laughs at jokes, but doesn't often tell them. Post-blackening Chen Xue's humor is dripping with cynicism and self-deprecation. Sometimes, when his past trauma and paranoia catches up to him, he doesn't get enough sleep, causing him to become somewhat irritable. Is rather insecure about his appearance due to how feminine he looks and the scars on his face. He tries to cover them up (masks, bandages, really weird edgy emo bangs, etc), but it just looks weirder.
I am kind of confused, you say he IS cold and distant but then say years later he is able to put facades. So my question is which is he now? I get the part about before and after the blackening because that happens overtime throughout the story. The beginning of this however sounds like it belongs in the backstory because he WAS like this BACK THEN if that makes sense.
He has morals and doesn't want to hurt people if it doesn't achieve anything, but will put his goals over his morals any day. When faced with difficult situations, he thinks things out and doesn't let his emotions get to him. Sometimes, he stays up overnight thinking about things, leading to his lack of sleep and being irritable.
This makes sense because it is kind of like making ethical dilemmas which is what leadership is about sometimes. Like the idea of "Sacrifice the few to save the many". Morally, sacrificing people sounds wrong, however, logically in order to save the many, it makes sense.
Appearance: he has very pale skin and is rather skinny, creating an almost sickly appearance. He is short for his age and slightly underweight due to malnutrition. He has black hair and dark brown eyes. His eyes are a bit larger and almond-shaped and he looks a little feminine, which he was often made fun of as a child. He wears many layers of white robes most of the time to hide his thinness, and sometimes if he feels like it, he wears white silk robes with golden clouds embroidered on them. He has a scar underneath his eye from childhood and a flower branding mark on his forehead also from his childhood (a punishment by his stepmom). Before blackening, he usually has a serious expression or a somewhat sad one with downcast eyes and a frown. During his emperor days, he is either seen with a charming smile, a scowl, or just plain indifference. Although he is somewhat unconfident, his upbringing has made sure his posture is always proper and correct. Before he blackened, he was very melancholy and his aura was just very gloomy in general. During his blackening and just after, his aura was lowkey really scary, and overbearing. He maintained that overbearing demeanor into his emperor years, but as the emperor, he also makes jokes and appears easygoing on the surface, so he is intimidating but not until he gets angry. During his fugitive status as a farmer, he wears simple robes and a bandage to cover his scar. Usually doesn't tie his hair, but as a farmer, he would tie his hair up in a high ponytail. Still refuses to cut his hair because he thinks he would look weird with short hair. Is considered "conventionally attractive" and uses this to his advantage
I think his looks are pretty good, however, I noticed that you didn't put the scar in your drawing, so was this an afterthought?
Family(oOf):
His biological mother died when he was young, so he doesn't remember too much about her. His dad(Chen Jian) is the emperor and he is an illegitimate prince. His stepmother(Cui LinEr) is extremely abusive to him because his dad gives him favor, and she thinks that isn't fair. His uncle on his mom's side (Cui Jun) is the royal general and holds immense power over the court, and also follows whatever his sister says (which is very unfortunate for Chen Xue because Cui Jun's sister always says that nobody is to help him.) After all, he is just illegitimate and she doesn't want him gaining favor, and also hates him, which is why she is so abusive. His older brother(Chen Yong), the crown prince, is a spoiled brat who bullies him, and his younger brothers don't dare stand up to him. However, Chen Yong later realizes his mistakes and tries to make up for them, but by that time, it's too late, and Chen Xue refuses to listen to him anymore. His younger brothers(Chen Mo, Chen Cheng) don't bully him but barely talk to him, distancing themselves and refusing to help him most of the time. However, his youngest brother(Chen Liang) idolizes him because of his high cultivation level and is extremely nice to him. His uncle (Chen Ren) treats him as an equal to everyone else and is mostly very kind to him, as he has taken a liking to him. However, his uncle is kind of an arrogant dick, so he doesn't often show "affection" to Chen Xue, but rather just is "nice" to him.
The reason that his mom is terrible to him is a bit Long. So his stepmom, the current empress, used to be from an extremely poor family who sold her to a wealthy merchant due to her good looks. However, the merchant constantly abused her, so she ran away. From then on, she had been a fugitive, and once nearly died of starvation. However, the crown prince at the time (Chen Xue's father) found her and took her back as a concubine. Although she didn't like the crown prince, she had no choice so she stayed there. Finally, she worked her way up the hierarchy and finally became empress. However, a young farm girl who had just newly entered the harem and was already getting more attention than she did, so she was jealous. The position she worked so hard for was not just getting taken away by a new concubine like that. Therefore, she kicked this new concubine out of the palace. That concubine turned out to be Chen Xue's mother, which is why Chen Jian was willing to take Chen Xue back. His mother obviously hated him from the start, seeing that he was the son of the person she hated the most and refused to pay attention to him. This worsened, even more, when he had shown talent at a young age and was getting lots of favor from his dad. Soon, her neglectfulness turned into straight-up abuse. Nobody dared to help Chen Xue because they were afraid of the power the empress holds (both due to her position and her brother's)
Again here, try not to get to cliche with the "evil step-family" characters because I know some people don't like this trope. However, I do think that it somewhat works here because gaining the emperor's favor by any means necessary was fairly big back in feudal China.
Backstory (Just a side note, still working on this backstory, not done yet and probably won't be done any time soon and is a bit overdramatic but lol):
Ever since he was a child, Chen Xue has had to fend for himself on the streets due to the death of his mother. One day, his dad, the emperor, swoops in and takes him back to the royal household and takes care of him as his son. However, life is not much better as a prince. He is constantly abused by his stepmom and even looked down upon by the lowest of servants. The only people who don't look down on him are his friend (who is a servant), A-Tang, and his youngest brother, Chen Liang.
Desperate to gain attention, Chen Xue worked extra hard on his cultivation, frequently going entire nights without sleeping just to get stronger. However, he is too scared to show his capabilities from the fear that his mother might find out and beat him up (of course he doesn't dare stand up to her because her brother is one of the royal generals). He is severely malnourished, often not receiving a dinner or even a lunch (his food is often taken away by his mom). Even when he does get food, there's barely any meat and almost always simple vegetables and rice because of how petty his dad is. A-Tang frequently sneaks him food and water, and occasionally even candy he managed to buy with his pitiful salary as a cultivator. A-Tang works as both a cultivator and a servant, so he barely has time to see Chen Xue, and their meetings were some of the only things Chen Xue looked forward to.
However, his luck seemed to turn around when his uncle, Chen Ren came and accepted him as a disciple. Chen Xue followed him to Shu along with A-Tang (he had told his uncle that he was close to the servant boy, and his uncle basically goes "fuck you" to his mom when she tries to stop him), where for almost a year, everything was good. That was until the rival country of Nan Chen launched an attack on them, and Chen Xue was forced to fight alongside his uncle. During a battle, A-Tang pushed Chen Xue out of the way of an incoming arrow and died. During the days following, Chen Xue was merely an empty husk of a person, just mindlessly chopping and slicing on the battlefield.
You seem to make a lot of the mother characters as mean or criminals, except for Chen Xue's mother and that's because she is dead. Now, I don't know if this is something personal, but just be careful about making every single mother evil because that's just not how the world is.
When the war was finally won, Chen Xue was awarded the title of the Prince of Jin and got his own court in the province of Yang. His luck seemed to finally have gotten better, but his mental health had not. After the death of A-Tang, he just lay around in bed all day not wanting to do anything, but after a year or two, he became mostly normal again. He was getting increasingly popular with the people due to his accomplishments and his charitable nature, which did not sit well with his stepmother. On the day of the crown prince's birthday, Chen Xue was invited to the banquet. His stepmother took this chance to poison his tea, resulting in him losing all of his cultivation. This was not announced to the outside world, so to onlookers it just looked like Chen Xue had retreated back into his house and refused to help, making him fall out of favor once again. After this period is when he starts to blacken (as in personality-wise).
Because of his lack of cultivation, his body is much weaker, so he can't take the same punishments and beatings as he did before. He lies once to get out of a situation where he would for sure be beaten half to death, only to realize that lying was so much easier to do than work. Therefore, he becomes accustomed to doing so. His personality becomes more and more unstable, and he is no longer the young second prince who only wants to help people and get recognition, but rather a scarred (and angsty) teen who no longer sees the good in people. However, he tries to not let anyone see this, only screaming and letting it out when he is alone.
I am a little confused because you said in his personality that he was distant and cold? You also say that he only puts up facades of being " a normal person", so when was he really the prince that wanted to help people? I know you also said he becomes "disillusioned" and doesn't know what is his real emotions or not, but then how does he know that he truly wants to help people?
A few years later, his father dies of illness, and his oldest brother, Chen Yong, ascends to the throne. However, Chen Yong is too immature to actually rule the throne himself, so he has the help of his mother and his uncle. He is a poor ruler, and instead of being an actual emperor, he is more like a pawn tossed around between his uncle and his mom, both battling for power. He tries his best to be a good person, but his past mistakes catch up to him, leading to his failure and the people hating him.
This sounds like you based the mother character on Wu Zetian.
Here is when Chen Xue meets Hua XiRui. Once, when he was out in his carriage, he ran over a nameless orphan's flower. His guards were originally going to beat the child up for crying about it, but Chen Xue ordered them to stop and took the orphan in instead. He named the orphan Hua XiRui, and the two became good friends, with Hua XiRui seeing Chen Xue as a savior and the only person who cared about him, while Chen Xue sees Hua XiRui as almost a sort of his past self, and take care of him so that he won't have to go through what he has gone through.
At this point, Chen Xue no longer cares to hear Chen Yong's explanations, and with his hatred and his younger brothers' naïveté, he launches a rebellion against Chen Yong and kills him and his mom. Because of the kindness his uncle showed him as a child, Chen Xue let him go, and even let him continue his noble position as a duke. This was when Zai Meng was born. At Chen Yong and Cui LinEr's execution, Chen Xue slit their throats with his stepmom's own necklace, making it become a spiritual weapon. With the support of the people, he becomes the emperor.
Wait, why do the people like him? I know he started a rebellion against someone they don't like but last time I checked they didn't really even like Chen Xue either until he joined a rebellion, so why wouldn't they put someone who they fully trust on the throne?
For the next few years, he is loved by the people and respected by everyone, doing good things everywhere, but also ruling with an iron fist and being unreasonably strict at times, but then Chen Xue finds his brothers scheming against him. He tries to stay as reasonable as possible, seeing as they helped him before and merely puts them on house arrest. However, when somehow, he was still nearly assassinated, he nearly lost it. He still doesn't do anything to his brothers, but then finally, when everything he has built was messed up, and all his construction projects mysteriously torn down, and his own people he did everything for, turned against him because they thought it was his fault, he decides to reason one last time. However, this time, he finally loses it and kills his own brothers in cold blood, all except one of them, the fifth brother that had idolized him when young, Chen Liang. This last brother runs away and starts a rebellion against him, along with Chen Xue's ex-general, Ming Xiu. This turns out to all be a misunderstanding set up by Ming Xiu and the captured princess of Nan Chen (Nanyao Qixue) so that Chen Xue would kill his brothers, and then with that, Ming Xiu can take advantage of that and eliminate his last remaining blockage to the throne, Chen Xue, by dirtying his reputation and starting a rebellion. Chen Xue falls to this scheme and falls from grace.
This is pretty good. I like how he gives his other brothers more chances, and honestly, I would have thought giving his older brother a second chance would be great, and then you make it so that he fights alongside Chen Xue in the fight against his rebellion, in that way they both get big character growth. Chen Xue learning that sometimes giving mercy can lead to unexpected and powerful allies, and Chen Yong learning that he needs to think for himself and that his decisions are his and his alone, with a couple of dramatic moments, sprinkled in between.
At the final battle (the charge of Luoyang), Hua XiRui, as Chen Xue's last loyal servant, comes up with a plan. Due to their similarity in appearance, he could easily pass off as Chen Xue, therefore he cuts himself under the eye, brands himself in the forehead, and turns himself in to save Chen Xue. This is where Chen Xue regains his control, but it's already too late.
That was nice of Hui XiRui
TLDR: things suck, they get better, and then things suck again, but this time it's worse
Present timeline: (again, this was a little bit rushed and I am in the process of fixing it up, so it isn't the final product)
After a few years of being a farmer, Ming WanFeng, the son of Ming Xiu and the crown prince of the new Xi dynasty, visits Chen Xue's village. By now, Chen Xue is under the persona "Er Lang" and constantly wears a bandage over his forehead and right eye to hide his identity. The crown prince was just supposed to be doing charity there and claiming new soldiers for the Xi dynasty. However, his carriage mysteriously flipped out of nowhere.
Chen Xue sees this, and then sees a spot of blood near where the carriage was attached to the horses and knows something is wrong. He takes this chance and pretends to fall down, landing straight in front of the carriage. Then, he uses the tiny bit of spiritual energy still left in Zai Meng to unclip the carriage, revealing an elongated spike coated with poison that stabbed the horses just as they entered the village. Ming WanFeng notices this too and decides to stay for the night and return tomorrow to show his father this attempt against his life, and requests for Chen Xue to go with him as proof. Chen Xue is very confused why Ming WanFeng would need some random stranger as proof, but decides to go anyway, considering Ming WanFeng seems to hold no killing intent against him.
So if these spikes are elongated then they must be pretty long/large, so my question is no one noticed?
Along the way, Chen Xue realizes why he trusts Ming WanFeng so much is because of his resemblance to Hua XiRui, especially when he smiles. Chen Xue tries to distance himself from Ming WanFeng by reminding himself that Hua XiRui is dead because of the Ming family, but he fails.
When they get to the palace, Chen Xue realizes why Ming WanFeng needed him as proof. Even though he is a crown prince, Ming WanFeng's words have no weight. He is always a sheltered child in his father's eyes and his father doesn't think he can handle anything and the servants along with his brothers scorn him for being "weak, a sissy, stupid," and "a bad cultivator". Ming WanFeng is always desperate to seek his father's approval but is turned away time and time again. Chen Xue couldn't help but notice how alike he and Ming WanFeng actually are.
I am not a huge fan of this because the servants would never be this disrespectful to someone with a high status like that, especially to his face. He may not have his father's respect but he is still the legitimate prince so I think they would not be as open with their feelings. I think it worked with Chen Xue because his Step-Mother was a very powerful presence always putting emphasis to make sure that everyone knew he was illegitimate and wanted people to speak ill of him. I get you did this in order to make a connection between the two to set up a romance I'm guessing, but there are other ways to do so.
Soon after, a series of brutal murders and paranormal activity pop up around the country, and Ming WanFeng, in a desperate attempt to prove himself, goes to try and solve all of them. Chen Xue tags along because he has grown fond of Ming WanFeng. He notices how good of a person Ming WanFeng actually is, trying to help the common people, doing whatever he can to make people happy. On top of that, he is a good cultivator. However, none of this is of use when Ming WanFeng is framed for a series of crimes that happened just after he had visited each murder scene, and each time, he barely manages to get out of it. Additionally, there had been several attempts on his life, but he was too scared to tell because he thought that would make him seem weak.
I honestly forgot about the supernatural aspect to this, the political parts are interesting don't get me wrong, but maybe you could throw in some more supernatural aspects into his backstory. Also, why does Chen Xue tag along with Ming WanFeng once he validates his story? Like what is stopping him from going back to his village? Does Ming give him a position in the castle? Does something happen like a storm that physically doesn't allow him to leave for a couple of nights?
Everything seems to be fine until Ming WanFeng's really salty younger brother, Ming QiYun, finds out this new "Er Lang" guy is Chen Xue. Ming QiYun almost immediately jumps on the opportunity to tell Chen Xue off so he can prove his older brother was shielding a criminal so he can steal the spot of the crown prince. Chen Xue finds this out and realizes the framing and attempted murder of Ming WanFeng was all Ming QiYun's doing. He uses this to not get told off, but Ming QiYun has a condition: that Chen Xue does his dirty work for him and kill off his brother and the rest of the Ming's.
This makes sense and I already like Ming QiYun's characters.
Ming QiYun is the second prince of the Ming family, and he has always worked excessively hard to gain his dad's attention. However, he notices how much his dad pampers and spoils his older brother, Ming WanFeng, and begins to develop a burning hatred for the crown prince. Originally, they were close as children, but Ming QiYun had always bullied Ming WanFeng for not being masculine enough and not being the standard image of a prince. He mocks Ming WanFeng to feed into his own ego because he is actually extremely insecure and in need of validation, which he can never get. He thinks Ming WanFeng is useless and is jealous because he gets so much attention even though he is useless while he himself barely gets any attention.
Chen Xue thinks about it and agrees, but it's actually to protect himself and the crown prince. See, his words carry no weight as of now (he is just a servant to the crown prince), and he alone cannot protect Ming WanFeng. However, if he acts out a plan and sends the crown prince away and fakes his death, Ming QiYun will stop coming for his life. And Chen Xue can also not die.
But it seems like Ming QiYun uncovers this plan, and when Chen Xue's plan against the Mings is in its final stages, and he tries to send Ming WanFeng away, Ming QiYun tells him off and pretends to be the good guy. Chen Xue is sentenced to death and Ming WanFeng is demoted and even more scorned. At the last second, Ming WanFeng saves Chen Xue and tells him to leave, while Ming WanFeng takes the punishment instead. This is not the first time when Chen Xue's loved ones put their life on the line for him, and so he obviously refuses. Just like that time when Hua XiRui died for him, Ming WanFeng pushes Chen Xue off the steps of the palace and turns around to walk back in.
I like how he saves him, however, I think their relationship needs to be built up more.
Chen Xue quickly gathers evidence and makes a half-assed argument against Ming QiYun and rushes in with his evidence, and to his surprise, more servants and powerful authorities step in and agree with him. Initially, when Ming Xiu heard the first half of the story, he wasn't convinced, but when he heard about the attempts on Ming WanFeng's life, he got a little bit agitated. When everyone agrees and Ming WanFeng finally comes forward, Ming Xiu decides to believe Chen Xue and spare him (after all, he knew what he had done to Chen Xue).
Wait wait wait...why do they even believe Chen Xue? Who is he to any of these people? At most he is a servant of the accused which doesn't seem very reputable in this case. Also how long does it take Chen Xue to get this evidence? It seems like there would be a considerable amount of time, and whatever punishment Ming WanFeng faces seems like it would be rather quick. Lastly, why would the emperor believe only half-asses evidence?
Turns out, the reason Ming Xiu did what he did was because of a grudge against the Chen family. He was a young child from a rich family when he first got into the imperial training system and quickly rose up to the rank of general due to his quick wits and good fighting skills. However, his family was found out to be a group of scummy merchants who had killed people and scammed people for their own good, which is why they were publicly executed and Ming Xiu was once again thrown all the way to the bottom. He does climb back up again, but there is the constant fear of the Yangs, and when his first child, Ming WanFeng was about 7, there was a plague going around. His first wife had died soon after birth, and he had to take care of his child alone. Ming WanFeng caught the plague and was writhing with pain every day. Ming Xiu, although he was the general, was ignored due to his and his family's past. He had begged Chen Xue's father for a doctor but was turned down. Years later, when Chen Xue ascended, Ming Xiu hated him not only because he was a Chen, but because he lived a lavish lifestyle. He thought Chen Xue would be as morally corrupt as his father, and took it to himself to "bring him down". He teamed up with a criminal, Nanyao Qixue, who used to essentially be worshipped as a god in her old kingdom, but after Nan Chen fell, she was disgraced, and in the largely sexist Sui dynasty and as a slave, her life was even harder. Her people were systematically oppressed and had no way of escaping the bottom layer they were at, so she wanted to change that, and therefore brought down Chen Xue. She doesn't hold as much "official power" as Ming Xiu due to her status, but she is the one running a lot of things behind the scenes
I kinda like this, however, there are some parts of me who just want Ming Xiu and Nanyao Qixue to be evil for the sake of power because there are people like that. Speaking of her, what happened to her, she was barely mentioned up until the very end?
A/N: haha I know this sucks I'm sorry
TLDR: Chen Xue realizes two things:
The Ming family sucks
He's gay af
I think if you want to make him be in a relationship with Ming WanFeng, you should probably build it up more because I read everything as more of a good friendship. The only reason I guessed earlier was that it was a little obvious.
Talents/skills:
When not freaking out, he's pretty logical and can figure out problems. Super observational, can notice the smallest things and produce a conclusion based on that (he once figured that something was wrong with a tree because there was no wind and it was spring, but leaves kept falling off). He is quite charming in the sense that he has a good sense of humor(gained this ability from the constant power struggles) because if he isn't charming, he can't get much attention (isn't too physically strong, has no cultivation, etc.) Super good at wiping spilled liquids off the floor (soup, ink, etc.) Even though he has no spiritual energy of his own, if he gets some from outer sources, he can still wield it quite well because of the intense training he had gone through as a child.
I like all these talents and skills.
Weaknesses:
Any mention of Hua XiRui or himself as an emperor, in general, triggers him to the point where he becomes irritable and extremely unlikeable. Unfortunately for him, this period of time is brought up a lot. He is extremely deceptive, and this puts a strain on all his relationships because by now lying is second nature. He is also unwilling to open up, even if he looks like he is doing so on the outside. (I know this is kinda cliche, but it kind of makes sense) He is still somewhat childish in handling genuine emotions (not the ones he pretends to have) despite being very well-read and experienced in everything else, which makes his relationships strained, and people he has opened up to often dislike him for that reason. Really tired all the time and just wants to sleep to make up for all that lost sleep.
So does everyone including Ming WanFeng and Hua XiRui feel that way about him?
Fears:
Not being accepted (generic, but he really wants to prove himself, just like Ming WanFeng. This fear is mostly pre-blackened, Chen Xue). Losing stuff he loves (he barely owns anything and so he treasures the few friends and possessions he has). Failure (common, but this keeps him going). Being weak or wrong (after being a weakling and a failure for pretty much most of his life, Chen Xue doesn't want to be looked down upon and is desperate to get stronger. This ties into the first fear, but is kinda more toxic because he would do anything to get stronger. Basically the first fear but after he blackened) The mentioning of how he was horrible to Hua XiRui. He tries to repress this fear by repressing memories of XiRui (he has a dream once where XiRui has blamed him for everything and asked him if he really hated him so much as to want to forget him. Chen Xue hated that dream.)
I like his fears, and, good job explaining them.
Likes: White chrysanthemums (these are the type of flower Hua XiRui was holding when they first met). Small birds (he feels somewhat connected to them on a personal level). White plum blossom wine (he just likes drinking wine). Playing the flute (except he ain't too good at it). Being an insufferable show-off (he just likes projecting his superiority). Being called tall (cuz' he really ain't). Rice cakes (basically his daily diet consists of RiCe CaKeS and only rice cakes). Red braised pork (this was the only meat dish he had frequently eaten as a child and is still quite fond of it to this day.)
Dislikes: Seafood (never had a chance to eat it when he was little, thinks it looks disgusting). Tea (he was poisoned with this). Bugs (he just hates bugs. Who doesn't?). Still hates swimming to this very day with a burning passion (he's sensitive to the cold). Strong scents (his teacher during childhood would always put four incense burners in his classroom, and he's smelled enough vermillion for a lifetime). Cats and dogs (had to fight them for food when he was very young). Ming WanFeng doesn't understand this and would often bring home a stray puppy only to find a screaming Chen Xue in the middle of the night. Being called short (I can relate).
Why does he feel connected to small birds? Do his likes and dislikes change when he becomes a farmer? For example, strong scents, because working on a farm definitely produces an odor of sorts. Also is it that he just doesn't like them or is he afraid of cats and dogs? Other than this I like his likes and dislikes.
Hobbies: playing the flute and guqin (he's mediocre at best with the flute and quite okay at the guqin, but he likes the flute better). Whenever he feels lonely, he randomly picks two of his facades and starts a conversation. He also likes writing calligraphy and is quite good at it. Sometimes he also plays Go with other people, but only if he feels like it. His self deprecating and extremely sarcastic humor carries over into his Er Lang persona, so he frequently likes coming up with insults to throw at others or himself.
Self-confidence: astoundingly low. He is insecure as shit about everything, from his appearance to his abilities to even how good of a person he is. He's internalized all the insults thrown at him and allowed them to become part of him, which is why he isn't used to positive feedback.
Mostly ruled by logic, but when emotional he is really emotional.
Introvert at heart, but in order to gain favor, he must become an extrovert to attract people's attention
I kinda like it, but be careful to not make it so that he is able to just flip a switch and perfectly go from introverted to extroverted and put on a facade. It would be better if at some points in the story he struggles to maintain that facade when he needs to because a touchy subject comes up.
Friends:
A-Tang (time period: second prince arc): The two have a pretty good relationship. A-Tang is very emotionally mature due to his past and often listens to Chen Xue go off about how horrible everything is and is there for emotional support. However, when he gets mad, he gets really mad, and so Chen Xue tries to be as nice to him as possible to avoid losing his only friend. A-Tang is busy and barely ever gets to see Chen Xue, but he thinks this little prince is like him in some ways and tries to be nice to him. He knows that Chen Xue needs it. Just like Chen Xue, he has a bit of an inferiority complex and thinks he owes Chen Xue something, and just like the future Chen Xue to Ming WanFeng, he thinks the little prince is a great person while he isn't. His backstory is long AF so I won't be putting it here.
Hua XiRu(time period: Prince of Jin arc - rebellion arc)i: These two are best buddies. Chen Xue is the only person who cares about Hua XiRui and doesn't look down on him for his orphan life. Likewise, Hua XiRui is grateful and kind to Chen Xue for saving him. However, Hua XiRui is an extremely just and righteous person, so he expresses some distaste at some of post-blackened Chen Xue's behavior. He also doesn't like Chen Xue's dark sense of humor, so Chen Xue tries to fix that. There is a little bit of a savior complex in their relationship, but that doesn't stop them from being extremely close, mostly because they are the only support in each other's lives. However, their relationship doesn't stay wholesome, because near the end of Chen Xue's reign, when he was starting to lose it, he would frequently lash out against XiRui and be very toxic to him. After the incident, Chen Xue had regretted it and wanted to make up for it, but XiRui was already dead.
I really like how their relationship isn't perfect.
Chen Liang (time period: second prince arc): Chen Liang has idolized Chen Xue since he was a child. Chen Liang is extremely headstrong and has the childish dream of becoming the best cultivator there ever was. He looks up to Chen Xue due to how good his cultivation is, but is often turned down by Chen Xue. This is because Chen Xue is very emotionally immature and doesn't want to hurt Chen Liang and so turns him away because he thinks his Chen Mo is a better role model for him (Chen Mo is caring, smart, relatively good at cultivation, mature, and basically better than Chen Xue in every way but cultivation-at least Chen Xue thinks that way.)
Ming WanFeng (also the love interest. Time period: Er Lang arc): Originally, Chen Xue was kind to the crown prince of Xi due to his similarity to Hua XiRui. However, he discovers that Ming WanFeng is a lot like himself in some ways, and begins to open his mind towards this crown prince. Soon, he sees just how good and kind of a person Ming WanFeng is (even to the point of being childish), and his inferiority complex starts coming out. He thinks that Ming WanFeng is so much better than him, and deserves so much better. Therefore, he tries his best to protect the crown prince and make sure this great person gets great things.
Wang ShiYi (time period: Er Lang arc): Also known as Mr. Wang, he is an important advisor to the emperor of Xi and a court official. He takes a liking to Chen Xue because of his quick wit and finds this young servant quite intriguing. He himself isn't too great of a person either, and he knows this, but he doesn't plan on fixing this. Chen Xue used to like playing go (a Chinese board game) in his spare time, and so does Wang ShiYi, so the two often sit together and chat over a board of go. After the big Er Lang = Chen Xue reveal, he steps up for Chen Xue, claiming that he isn't a bad person. This is because, during those chats, Chen Xue opened up a bit, and Wang ShiYi has also seen the kindness between Chen Xue and Ming WanFeng.
You never mentioned a Mr. Wang before.
Acquaintances:
Qin Si: during his days as Ming WangFeng's personal servant, he met Qin Si, a laundry girl under Ming QiYun. She's a bit of a talkative smartass and gets triggered easily, so Chen Xue enjoys intentionally pissing her off.
Hu You: a shy servant under Ming WanFeng who doesn't talk too much. Was rescued from an orphanage when he was little and is still traumatized from his experience in the orphanage. Chen Xue sympathizes with him and occasionally gives him gifts. However, other than that, they don't talk much and Chen Xue only gives him a nod when they pass by each other.
Are these two characters important to the plot at all?
Chen Mo: Chen Xue pre-blackening has a huge inferiority complex, and he thought that Chen Mo was better than him in every way. Chen Mo pitied him but didn't dare get close to him (Chen Xue's reputation was that bad). The two didn't have too much of a rocky relationship in the start, but after blackening, all of Chen Xue's admiration and jealousy turned into hatred. Surprisingly, the brother he had one of the best relationships before the blackening turned into the one he could tolerate least as emperor.
He sounds interesting but after the blackening does he stay relevant?
Trivia:
Is disgusted at the sight of gold. After being the scum emperor, he no longer finds gold attractive, but rather repulsive, reminding him of those toxic days.
Sometimes he calls people "dumbass" behind their backs. The person he does this the most often to is himself.
Loves sweets. Didn't get much candy as a child, so he has a ginormous sweet tooth as an adult.
His alcohol tolerance is high af. He can outlast several people in a drinking contest and can down several jars before getting tipsy.
Zai Meng has a personality. Mostly a sassy one, but Chen Xue frequently throws it on the ground and smacks it, making it kinda shy at times. Don't worry, he ain't mean to it though and he takes care of it and polishes it a lot.
So Zai Meng can talk? You didn't mention this before.
Still prefers the name "Er Lang" over Chen Xue or Yangdi.
When he was a child, he would try to look cool by doing extra flips and whatnot when practicing cultivation.
Has a doll his mom gave him named "Hua XiRui". This was why he decided to name the orphan child he found Hua XiRui.
Some random quotes I thought of for him or for other characters:
"Yes, I'm not afraid to die. But I want to live." -Chen Xue
"Er-ge (translates to second older brother), I think you're really great. I'm not smart, so I don't know how to say stuff, but I think you're the greatest Er-ge ever." -Chen Liang as a child (and also Chen Liang after Chen Xue blackened and he was trying to stop Chen Xue's rage)
"Shut up. Is Er Lang a name worthless trash like you get to call me by?" -Chen Xue to Chen Yong and his stepmom
Appearance-prince Jin arc (drew this myself)
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Thank you so much joyjia1202 for letting me review your character. I think Chen Xue is a very interesting character. I think he has some pretty good motivations and the plot is there. However, I think there are some nitpicky things that you could fix if you wanted to, but other than that he is great. And, thank you guys, the readers, so so much for reading my book! Subscribe to my profile for more updates on the chapter and other books, vote for this chapter if you really liked it and if you want, go ahead and drop your on OC in the "Form" chapter, which is the very first one. I will do what I can to review your OC and give you as much honest advice as possible. That's that Space Cats <3