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“I don’t!”
No, shit, he hadn’t meant to say that.
But he couldn’t take the words back, couldn’t pull them out of the open air between them and shove them back down his throat, and he couldn’t say anything else, either.
He did care about Deku, and he hated with a passion the way Deku’s expression morphed into one of pure heartbreak, his eyebrows twisting up and his trembling lips warping under despair, but he just could not bring himself to say the words.
His feet were glued to the loose soil beneath him and his lips were stapled shut. He was impossibly cold; the blood drained out from his fingertips and the cold of night seeped through his skin to wrack at his bones and scream at him, ‘Fix this!’, ‘Tell him you care!’, ‘Just say something!’
And yet he did nothing.
Deku lurched back, hand clutching in his shirt, right above his heart, as if he were physically struck. His bright viridian orbs flared with hurt before dulling into something void, glazing over in a way that had trills of guilt running down Katsuki’s spine. He shrunk in on himself, shoulders slumping forward, arms pulling tighter around himself, and his head hung low to make himself disappear, just like he used to do when Katsuki would push him, mock him, hit him.
Katsuki expected tears, denial, maybe even a full on breakdown, but then Deku just turned away. Walked away with dry, despondent eyes drawing a straight line in the dirt and a hand still clutched to his chest.
And still Katsuki did nothing.
He’d never felt so weak in his life, and in that moment, he hated himself for it.
You were wrong, Deku.
I’m not amazing at all.
○•
Izuku’s legs moved on their own, mind numb to the outside world as his clunky red shoes plodded on, hauling him down the empty street towards his apartment. He wasn’t aware of anything at that moment. The distinct smell of incoming, faraway rain was stifled and the crunch of rocks beneath his feet fell away into nothingness.
Was this what it felt like to have your heart broken? Mournful and disconsolate, hollowed out. Like a cork, his heart had been wrenched from his body and out poured the contents of his soul. Left behind was an outline, a shell.
YOU ARE READING
Halfway to the Moon
Fanfiction💛BAKUDEKU💛COMPLETE💛SLOWBURN💛SAD DEKU💛HAPPY ENDING💛 Izuku doesn't know how to handle being depressed, his middle school bullies, the rigorous training All Might has him on, and the burden his mother is under trying to provide for a kid all by h...
