I'M SORRY BUT I LOVE YOU [COMPLETED]

ISBILY 05: Until our next Maybe

(THE UNTOLD STORY OF EREBUS)

Erebus

They say that if you have found love, don't let it go, specially when it's true. But what if the only way to save her from further emotional damage is to let go? Will you still hold her hand in the name of love? Or will you choose to let go and save her from further pain.

I have this girl bestfriend named Nyx. Hmm is it destiny? Our names were both from the names of Greek gods and goddesses. And in that Greek mythology Erebus the god of chaos was the consort of Nyx the goddess of the night. Hmm.

What a perfect pair we could become in the near future.

I actually have this secretly growing love towards her. Yep she's my bestfriend but I love her more than a friend. I don't know if she feels the same, I am afraid that what if she won't reciprocate my feelings, so to supress this growing unrequited love of mine, I've tried my very best to hide it.

And I guess I am very good at it. She never knew after all.

I tried to love someone else, no more of just tried to date someone else because I know in the end it was only me who is inlove, and it's better for us to stay friends for we can be together for the rest of our lives, no break-ups and we could be one another's shoulder to cry on, ears to listen and arms to hold on.

But fate was playful she loves me just like how I love her.. I am so happy, really, really happy knowing that she feels the same. It feels like heaven opened its gates and the angels sang fir answering my prayers. I am so happy to the point that I want to shout it to the world that my love for her was reciprocated, but I need to push her away.. And it hurts like hell to see your beloved crying because of you.

I love Nyx. I really do but as much as possible I have to end this stupid feelings I felt for her, because I only have few months left before I go to a place where she cant be with, the afterlife. And I can't let her suffer from my death. I don't want her to suffer further emotional damage. Wanna know what happened before I knew I got few months left?

Few months before our batch reunion, I've got into an accident which cause me to have this major concussion. I thought I was already fine when I healed from my injury, but I didn't know that the accident has damage my brain. Yes, the injury I've got caused a Traumatic Brain Injury and the doctor said that I only got few months left.

So when Nyx confessed her feelings for me that night of our reunion, I pushed her away. Well not literally, I just said straight into her face that I dont feel the same, that I only see her as a friend, and a sister.  D*rn how thick faced am I to say it to her after I kissed her back with the same need. I wanna hug her and tell her that I love her too. Seeing her cry breaks my heart into pieces. I know I was just lying. I love her, I really do. I almost drown into her kisses to the point that if it continued, I might lose myself and take back my rejection to her. But I can't be so selfish to admit my feelings for her. I cant let her suffer in her whole lifetime mourning for my death. I am already dying, though there are still chances of survival if I would undergo a surgery but it's very low. And I can't take the risk of something that is not a hundred or either fifty percent probability that I would survive. I just can't.  I wanted to make sure that she won't suffer from an excruciating pain.

A week after her confession, she go to London. I guess it's a goodbye then. Being far from something that broke you could be essential in moving on.

Well I guess I made the right choice, tss there was no more option left in the first place. I just made the right decision. And that was to let her go even if it's killing me slowly.