The Things I Leave Unsaid

69. Ninety Nine

A/n: The pic to the side is of a page in this book I'm reading. It finally tells why the name of the book is what it is; disturbing but at the same time, not really, because we've all been there at one point in time, I bet. Read the book to know what I mean by that. You won't regret it. It's called Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson and it's simply written but wonderful.

I'm ninety nine years and my birth day,

Is tomorrow and already in sight,

But it doesn't make much of a difference

since I'll be passing 'way
soon tonight.

_
One hundred years, the almighty goal

But those who are here won't arrive.

Happiness that of a lifetime away,

too good a dream to stay alive.

_
Years of anger,

years of joy,

Years of lying,

girls and boys.

_
Years of anguish,

times of speaking,

Passed right by

Despise the tweaking.

_
Just an undercover weakling

Walking along at their own pace,

And only craves to be

who they see, despite disgrace

_
But I dream that I'm strong

and the hundred's almost here.

I can make it, will not break it,

The path to change is clear.

_
But then go stumble,

fall to knees,

Steps are few

But those to please

Make every movement

seem to be

A triumph, light up,

Accompanied

By one day less

in purgatory.

But one more day

Is necessary,

So taken away

Is then mourned for,

you see?

_
Maybe it's not about the goal.

_
Maybe it's really accomplishment

So pray away all flighty angels sent

Fore achievement means nothing if

we're not the ones to fight

And I never want to get there,

winning isn't much tonight,

Without a place of deserving pride

on the shelf of moral height.

_
I want to be one hundred,

But a day might be too long.

A saying, too good to be true,

Fits feelings like a song.

_
So now I'll be lax and laying waiting to see,

If instincts are truth, or if possibly,

A goal is not all too far for me.

Yes, it's one hundred that I'll strive to be.

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-Dustin the Great