Chapter 20

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It was past midnight when I shot up in bed, covered in a cold sweat and breathing hard. The first thing to greet me was the pale light of the moon as I tried to stop the shivers running down my body, I'd had a nightmare of him. And he had been calling my name, whispering it over and over into my ear, like a gentle lullaby at first but then Felix had screamed my name like a plea, like a cry for help.

I wanted to shake it off, I tried to brush it aside but I was finding it impossible. So I found myself pacing my room, arms wrapped around myself as tried to move my mind away from him.

But damn it, I could almost still hear it now, the distant beggings, as though he really needed me?! And that was just ludicrous, Felix didn't need me, he was beyond capable.

But that's when I heard footsteps in the hallway to my room, hurried and nervous, like a frightened animal. And I stilled in their wake, as I waited, and sure enough whoever it was stopped at my door and began banging on it.

"Queen Dahlia, it's Xander, please open the door!" the prince continued to knock frantically and I rushed for the door and swung it open, and Xander stood before me, wringing his hands nervously.

"Wha–" I tried to ask but Xander cut me off "Felix, it's Felix" and I instantly paled while I pushed past Xander and rushed out of the room, I shouldn't have known where Felix was, I shouldn't...but somehow I did. Like following an invisible trail, it was easy, so I ran. Taking hallway corners so fast I banged against walls, pushing myself so hard I nearly stumbled yet still I ran frantically...till I came across what could only be Felix's room. Already the royal family stood infornt of his door and if I hadn't been so worried I might have questioned why none dared enter, but I didn't. instead I rushed past them and entered the room, and the doors slammed shut behind me, and I froze in awe as I beheld Felix.

He laid asleep in his four poster bed, trembling and shuddering in a nightmare, covered in sweat that shone in the firelight. For Felix had set himself on fire, and a gentle glow of fire encased him, but his fire wasn't burning anything... It was like a second skin of fire, as though he was protecting himself.

"Dasha..." he whimpered in his sleep, his fists clenching as he screamed in terror, his brows furrowing deeply as he opened his mouth in a silent scream and I instantly rushed to his side, and panicked as I wondered if his fire would burn me. As it was his bed was so large I had to climb onto it just to reach him, but it hadn't burned me yet.
But then he cried out again and I flung my hand out and onto his cheek in a panic. Tendirls of Steam instantly rose from where our bodies met, and Felix stilled but a lone tear now streaked down his cheek.

"—Torture, I can't...without h—" Felix murmereed and my heart broke, he never told me his nightmares had gotten this bad, the slumber had definitely damaged him in ways I would never understand.

"Shh, it's alright Felix, I'm here..." I whispered softly as I stroked his cheek and his lashes fluttered, as his whole body relaxed in my touch. But then felix abruptly opened his eyes, and I found myself staring straight at him. For a moment it felt like we both had stopped breathing, for we didn't move an inch as though caught by a predator. Felix was frozen before me as I kneeled on the mattress beside him, That is until Felix began searching my eyes frantically, and when I went to move my hand away from his cheek he immediately reached out and kept it in place. Roughly pressing my open palm agaiant his cheek, as though my touch was keeping him alive, as though his life depended on this one touch and he closed his eyes as a thick tear rolled down his cheek and I insticivly leaned closer, "Is this a —a dream? you only ever come...when its a dream" he whispered and my heart clenched painfully "It's not, I'm here" I whispered as I curled beside him and rested my head on his barechest and his breath hitched. " you're here, " he sighed as he finally let go of my hand only to place it over my hair, and I noticed quite curiously how his fire and my coldness created beautiful whirl of steam which rose up like clouds. And soon we were enveloped in a gentle mist of steam and I fluttered my eyes open—eyes which I had not realized where closed— and looked towards Felix, whom gazed at me through hooded eyes as his fingers tugged gently at my hair.

"You probably don't need me anymore, I should le—" I whispered but Felix stopped me "Stay" he mumbled roughly " Just a little while longer?..." and something in the way he said it, as though this would be our last time like this, had me nodding before burying my face further into his chest, secretly adoring the feel of his bronze skin. Loving the sound of his heartbeat. "alive" it seemed to say, and it reminded me that this was real, it kept me grounded.

Felix now lazily drew circles on my back, humming his contentment and my heart nearly burst, we didn't say a word but simply dwelled in each others comfort; for Felix it meant faint, gentle touches that he snuck onto my hair and skin. For me it meant gazing at his darkened eyes and trailing my hand up his chest, till I reached and traced his jawline, his cheekbones, collarbone and memorizing the feel of Felix.

Felix

Dasha, dasha, Dasha...

She was everything, she was all I lived for. She might think I did it all for her but if I was being honest I've always done it for me, for the chance to trace her soft skin and run my fingers through her silky hair. As it was I could hardly think straight, not with her running her small fingers up my chest... What was she trying to do? Was she trying to drive me insane? Because she was seceeding, all I could focus on was the feel of her hands on me, of my hands on her. But each time I even briefly thought of stopping this I imagined Thane, imagined him getting the opportunity to stroke her hair and hold her close...no, this was all I would ever get. Scraps of her love? Maybe, but even her scraps and stolen moments were strong enough to drown a man in longing. Hell, I was addicted, intoxicated with her and I didn't even care.

Just then she placed her small hand over my heart, as though to protect it and I thought about abducting her, taking her away from all this and keeping her all to myself. But I couldn't... for I knew, that somewhere along the line Dasha had become a Queen–and not just my Queen, but a Queen worthy of Shabina...one who would not stand to abandon her kingdom. I knew I was selfish but I couldn't help myself.

But I would always want her, and I was a fool for thinking otherwise. And the way she touched me, with such ease and familiarity —as though she had every right to touch me, as though I was hers— had me closinging my eyes, and it was so easy to imagine this being our forever, to imagine I'd fall asleep next to her like this, for the rest of my life.

"Felix" she whispered almost longingly, her eyes transfixed on me? And I opened my eyes as she leaned forward till she hovered over me and I forgot how to breathe. Her dark hair cascaded around us acting like a curtain of privacy, and I watched in adoration as her full lips parted slightly, and I instantly knew what she was asking for. I knew what she needed for I needed it too, and I found myself whispering her name tenderly , like a prayer or plea for mercy as I leaned forward.

But just as I could feel her breathe fanning my face, just as her dark lashes had fluttered close, someone knocked loudly on the door and we both jerked back and away from each other like two frightened fawns, and I caught myself staring at her as I realized what we had been inches away from doing...

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A/N what the hell just happened? Did Felix and Dasha just full on cuddle? Also this chapter will probably be deleted later but I felt like I needed to post something, this is an old draft😅

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