HIRAETH|| Bernard the Elf x Reader [DISCONTINUED]

Chapter 21 "Plastic"

A/N: Istg...I keep spelling Satan instead of Santa-

Also Toy Santa gave me literal nightmares. Anyone else?

Another thing to note, the next chapter awaits you and mr. handsomeelfman some alone time :)

You three screamed at the wretched sight beheld before you. Santa turned around confused from you're screaming.

All except you screamed at the same time: "IT'S NAKED"

You immediately panned your head downward, covering your eyes with your hands.

"I'm not seeing a toy's dick and balls today....wouldn't that be a dildo?..." (wtf y/n?)

"Toy Santa" stood idle as he rolled down the conveyor belt. You swatted Bernard's arm with your hand, "Dude, throw something on it so I can see again!"

Hastily, he grabbed the nearest cloth and wrapped it around the naked toy (that sounds so weird out of context). You released a sigh of relief as you were finally able to see again.

"Ohh to see without my eyes..." You murmured to yourself. The sight that was beheld in front of you made you extremely uneasy. Your brows furrowed with awkwardness. The replica of Santa looked- quite literally- like a toy. Plastic concealed his entire body. For lack of a better term, he looked ugly. His hair reiterated literal wax, his cheeks glowed an unnatural hue of red, and don't even get me started on his eyes.

Curtis had a smirk of success plastered on his face. Santa chuckled, impressed with his duplicate. Santa then turned to Curtis, "Can he talk?". Curtis shrugged his shoulder but signaled him to go on and test that question.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, "Hello?"

Your eyes switched between Santa and toy Santa with anticipation.

Toy Santa's eyes rolled backwards as he gabbled some weird gibberish.

You stifled your laughs as you slapped your knee, "Pfffff- he sounds possessed!" The rest had cringe laced on their faces.

Your father decided to try again, "Hello?". After a few seconds of recuperation , Toy Santa's eyes fixated themselves onto Santa, "Hello?"

Your eyes widened in surprise, Curtis smirk only grew larger, and Bernard was slack-jawed.

Deciding to further test Toy Santa, your father continues, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" the classic Santa charm weaved his voice.

As anticipated, Toy Santa replicated those exact words in the exact tone. Bernard's mouth still remained slack-jawed with surprise.

A smile of approval rested on Santa's face, "Not bad..."

"Not so bad yourself" Toy Santa's snarky reply had you stunned.

"Awww man now there's two of you...I can already feel the migraines" Your voice laid between the line of both sarcasm and seriousness. No one could really decipher which one it was.

Santa turned his gaze to Curtis, "Watch him, i'll be right back-"

Santa pivoted his heels and paced towards you and Bernard. Grabbing both of your shoulders, he led the both of you to the opposite side of the room, "Guys, I need your help."

Bernard stared at him with a mix of surprise and confusion, "What do you mean-" He cut off when his voice cracked and went an octave higher. To which your inner self died at. (I re-watched the scene, his voice legitimately cracks. It's hilarious.)

Santa held a stern gaze of the both of you, "What I mean is, I gotta go see Charlie. I need you and y/n to convince the elves that-" He looked back at the direction where Toy Santa and Curtis resided in reluctantly, "thing...is me..."

Both of you tilted your heads with concern and confusion, "Uhh have you seen that thing?" your voices overlapped each other.

Feeling mutual, Santa tried reasoning with you, "I have- Just...keep the elves at a distance- And tell em that-that I changed my look!"

"Well I'm not going to lie to the elves!"

Both you and your father locked a gaze on him that screamed "really now?"

Ironically, you and Bernard found yourselves standing on the main headquarters staircase as Bernard made his 'little informative speech'.

"I myself think we look absolutely terrific!" His hand gestures were extremely exaggerated, it was quite a hilarious scene to behold, "Better and fresher somehow than he has in years! There's now a more supple veneer to his skin and an added luster and thickness to his hair! You could almost say he has a...toy-like quality to him. Most importantly, he's very happy with his new look- And I would caution you all not to point or stare or use the word 'plastic' okay? Okay, get back to work everyone!" The nervous smile plastered on his face had you entertained the entire time.

You found yourself leaning on the rail of the staircase with a smug little smirk as he let out an exasperated sigh, "I myself think you did absolutely wonderful! Extremely convincing I must say!" You mocked his accent.

Expecting a glare, he burst into a fit of laughter. This physically caught you off guard,

"Who gave this man drugs?" 

A/N: It's 2 am