Underneath The Surface

...for you.

Julian didn't call back. He didn't pick up the phone either. Wynter was going crazy. The guilt swallowed him up. He couldn't breath. Julian hung up on him. And he deserved it. He had known that Julian liked him. But he let jealousy of all things control his decisions. He shouldn't have kissed Serena, knowing that Julian would leave the room to search for him. Wynter had wanted Julian to watch. He wanted Julian to feel what he had felt when he saw him with Caleb. And now he had messed up and he was alone again.

Wynter didn't mind being lonely. He had been lonely for pretty much all his life. Even when his mother was alive, he was always like this. He wasn't interested in making friends....he had never liked anyone. He preferred blending into the walls. He preferred being the person who no one would even spare a glance at. People's eyes would pass over him as if he was invisible and he liked it that way. But he wanted Julian to look at him. For Julian to pay attention to him.

Wynter wanted to be Julian's everything even though he knew he couldn't be. Julian would leave. Sooner or later he'd get bored of Wynter's problems and he'd leave. And he wouldn't return. But he didn't care. What mattered was now. He wanted to be with Julian. He wanted to be held and kissed by him. And even if the sparks faded away, the warmth they had brought would be safe in his memories forever.

As a last desperate attempt Wynter dialled in Ren's number.

" Wynter....hey..." Ren greeted, pretending to be cheerful. Wynter could tell Ren was pissed at him.

" Hey! Uh—Ren...do you know where Julian is?"

" I'm his cousin. Not his GPS" Ren drawled sarcastically. Yeah, Wynter thought, he's definitely pissed.

" Ren are you pissed at me? I mean I get it—"

" I'm disappointed in you. I thought you were better than this. I thought you understood him....Listen he's had a shitty life since the past few years. Who am I kidding? It was always shitty. He'd tell himself that his problems were not important. That he was irrelevant. And this shit is sappy as hell but you and I both know it's true.....He broke himself trying to piece you together. I can't believe I gave you this speech. He's at the diner. The first one he took you to. Bye"

Wynter stared at the phone screen for a second. Ren had hung up on him. Julian and Ren were so much like each other that it was almost funny.

Julian was halfway into his fourth chocolate milkshake, when he looked out of the wall-sized window randomly. Wynter had his hands stuffed into his jeans and the hood of his sweatshirt pulled over his voluminous brown locks. He had his head bent low as he ducked past people, hoping that no one's attention was on him.

Julian smiled involuntarily as he watched the dark-haired boy thanking someone awkwardly when they told him that his shoelaces were untied. Julian knew that Wynter probably wouldn't tie them until he tripped once. Oh and it was most definitely Ren who told him where he was.

When Wynter walked in, Julian didn't wave him over like he usually did. The dark-haired boy ignored the obvious look of anger the other boy was directing at him and pulled out a chair, sitting opposite to him. He stared at the four empty milkshake cups for a second before deducing that Julian was the one who had drunk up all of them. That was the moment he realised how much Julian was pissed.

" Julian—"

" Marina! You've got a customer! I'm leaving! See you later!" Julian yelled out to the waitress, while leaving a tip on the table.

She did a two fingered salute and waved at him with a flirty smile. Marina was nice. When he came to the diner alone for some time away from his overwhelming life, she'd sit with him and tell him about a new movie she had just watched or a book she read, often about books that had been made into a movie. But she had a massive crush on Julian and even unobservant people like Ren had noticed. In fact he was the one who told Wynter.