The Weirdest Shipping Shorts

Drunken Mistake (Sansby)

Sansby

The crackling sound of fire filled the atmosphere as I brushed back my ginger flames. My head lowered, grabbing a dishcloth off a counter as I pushed open the fire exit, returning to the workspace. Chatter flew into my ears as I listened to the area around me. Drunken laughter and buzzes of conversations lingered in the atmosphere. Everyone- Regulars and new customers seemed to be eager to listen to each other. However, most of the chatter was around one main distraction, which of course was the comedian. Like usual, he was the center of attention. Always cracking jokes that seemed to make everyone fall into a fit of laughter. A small smile made its way onto my face as I leaned forward, my arms fell onto the counter and one hand pressed my cheek. My eyes observed the scene before me, admiring the comedian's work as he got everyone to fall head over heels for his jokes. Nearly as though it was the first joke they had all heard in years.

While admiring his presence, he turned his skull to look at me. His skeletal features made my soul flutter slightly as he chuckled. He hovered through the crowd, standing before me and tilted his head. "Whatcha up to, hot-stuff?" Two fingers shot in the air, making a gun motion in my direction. 

The tips of my flames enlightened to a shade of pink as I looked away, I scratched my forearm nervously. He knew that flirting with me in public made me anxious. Especially since we were secretly dating, just to make sure nobody would judge us for being queer. I looked back at him, as his hollow eye-sockets shot me an apology. I chuckled, moving my arm forward, and poked as his arm slightly. "Nothing, just looking around." 

He nodded slightly, his arms grabbed onto the red-seat of a barstool as he practically climbed onto it. He rested his arms on the counter and smiled. "May I have the usual then, Grillbz?" I quickly nodded as he shot me a small wink. 

I kneeled down, digging into one of the cabinets and pulled out a ketchup bottle, I put it on the counter and watched as his skeletal fingers reached forward, but as he was inches away from touching the bottle I quickly snatched it and moved it away from him. He looked up at me in shock and I snickered. "Only if you pay the tab!"

Sans looked me over, but smiled, he shook his skull at me and breathed out a sigh. "Awh, c'mon Grillbz, you know i'm too broke for that!"

    "Then I guess there will be no ketchup for you!"

    "How dare you take away my one true love!!" He yelled, putting a hand on his chest as he turned away dramatically. Monster's around us applauded as though we had just put on a play. 

He bowed his head jokingly as I rolled my eyes. "Alright, here." I chuckle, handing over the ketchup. Stars formed in his eyes as he took it quickly and began to down the condiment. I smiled slightly, watching him before returning to my tasks around the bar. Hours passed as hordes of people filed out of the bar, it was getting close to closing time. Every so often while making my rounds I would check on Sans or replenish his supply of ketchup. Within time, it was just Sans and a few customers remaining. 

I walked back behind the bar and began to clean some of the dirty glasses, the sudden tugging of my shirt caught my attention as I looked down. To my surprise Sans was sitting on the floor beside me, his hand on my sleeve as he continued to tug on it like a young child trying to grab the attention of it's parent. I tilted my head at him, pondering what he wanted. He quickly put a hand over his mouth, telling me to keep quiet and made a motion with his hand for me to follow him. He got up and crept towards the fire exit, he opened it and led me into the kitchen area.

He leaned against the wall, watching me enter, but did not break the silence. I stood a few feet away from him, my gaze narrowing slightly as he turned away from me and locked the door. "W-What is it?"

He sighed, his head tilting to the left slightly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"That you were carrying a child."

The thought of carrying a child turned my flames pink, I looked away from him, my soul pounding in my chest as beads of sweat trickled down the side of my face. I laughed nervously, shaking the thought away. "No Sans- no, your delusional. I'm not carrying a child-. I mean, we never even DID it, before..." As I spoke, Sans' skull lowered and his eyes stared at my stomach. I gulped nervously, moving away, my back brushed against the wall as I realized he had cornered me.  "S-Sans?" I asked, but he did not answer, "Sans?!" I said again, this time a hint of annoyance filled my tone, he once again did not answer, but his lips parted completely as though surprised by something. "Sans!!" I demanded, this time his mouth closed and he looked up at me. 

"Looks like your water broke..."

"Sans, please... There is nothing on my pants nor on the floor. You are just drunk and nee-..."

"I guess it is time to take you to a hospital!" I opened my mouth to speak, not expecting Sans to push me to the ground. I collided with the surface of the floor with a thud, my eyes slammed shut as I moaned in surprise. I opened an eyelid quickly to find Sans kneeling down. He grabbed onto my legs and started to slowly drag me through the kitchen. He gave up halfway and dropped my legs, he stood up straight and looked me over with a chuckle. "You are- *hic*way too heavy for me... Guess I will have to be your doctor!"

"Wait what?!" I yelled, attempting to scoot back. I began laughing awkwardly. "Y-You're making a huge mistake. I'm not pregnant, we both did not do anything- please, I-..."

He did not listen, instead he solemnly turned away and began to walk towards a kitchen drawer. As he did so I slowly rose to my feet, never taking my eyes off him to see what he was doing. To my surprise, the skeleton had pulled out a literal meat cleaver. He held it in his hands, examining the blade and whispered softly, "This will have to do."

My flames dimmed as I quickly scanned the room, I found the door, a few feet away and dashed for it. I turned the knob, listening to it click, but not open. Sans' heavy breathing lingered over my shoulder as I thrust my weight against the door. The door swung open, flinging me to the ground, customers turned to look in surprise as Sans dashed out of the room with the cleaver in his hands. 

"Do you really think you can escape? This is an emergency and we must handle your pain before it gets worse." 

"S-Sans please!" I yelped, still backing away. The chatter of customers around us filled the atmosphere as I backed into a wall. My flames dimmed slightly as Sans moved closer to me. It was no use, I was going to die here in my bar by the one I fell in love with. I closed my eyes, bracing myself for impact. Sounds of footsteps and screams filled the air, but the pain never arrived. 

I opened my eyes slightly, they adjusted to the light after a moment and I gaped in shock. A tall fish-monster had Sans pinned to the wall as spears surrounded her. Their eyes narrowed as she held him down. "Keep still bone head, unless you want to be pounded six feet under!"

Sans struggled in her grasp, trying to escape her grip as he kicked his legs in the air. "Let go!" 

The fish monster sighed in annoyance and pinned him to the wall with a spear. She turned her head and looked down at me. "Are you alright, Grillby?" She asked, moving her hand out to me. 

I took it quickly as she helped me rise to my feet. I nodded quickly, bowing my head, "Yes- thank you, Undyne!"

"You're welcome, punk." She laughs, looking back at Sans. "I don't get how you can stand this moron sometimes."

"He is one of the greatest people when you get to know him." I admitted, my flames turning pink as I averted eye contact. I could feel her stare glaring me down before she chuckled. 

"Alright, well I have to go. Goodluck." She laughed, looking back at Sans. She walked towards the short skeleton and slapped him lightly on the skull, knocking him out. She unpinned him with a spear and listened to him fall to the ground with a thud before walking off.

I waved goodbye, the bell chiming as she left the building. I looked over at Sans once again, lifting him in my arms before seating him right-side up in a booth. I gently ran a hand against his skull and chuckle. "Someday we will both look back at this, and have a good laugh." He chuckles as one of his sparks turned into a heart.