In which the fandom kills me (Finphie/Sophintan Oneshots)

Untitled Part 26 (Songfic! Devil On My Shoulder by Faith Marie)

Um what have I done- okay, so Sophie becomes the leader of the Black Swan, and then leads them to war against the Neverseen. Then she is crowned ruler. But she promises when her ears become pointy, she will step down. I kind of made her go really numb, until her life IS her kingdom. But then she finds something happy in an unlikely place. This is really more platonic? But I might continue it later, in a normal format.

Beautiful silence

I sigh at the cold quiet
Beautiful pain

The pain is another part of ruling- I think as I pick up my crown and put it on
We're only human
We're meant to dream

So I did. I dreamed until my dreams were my life

Lost in a life
Full of mistakes

My mistakes were small but cost so much
We do what feels right
Then fall with no grace

The plight of a young ruler.

Chased by the sun
Escaping flatlines

No one really cares, so I don't let them in. They won't just hurt me. Hurting me hurts everyone. It's not about me.
Dreams are a curse
Wake up you're alive

Oh slowly fading from the misery

I shake my head, stopping myself. Thoughts like that make it worse. Just live your life and let go of all of the emotions.
I've accepted who I'm supposed to be
I've accepted who I'm supposed to see
Lady in the mirror

I'm the only one who can keep us together. I am my people. And I must live for them. They are my life now. And I don't need to be me anymore. Just be stony and cold. But make the right decisions.
Oh everyday I'm getting a bit older

I sigh, fingering my dress. Only a little time until I'm an Ancient. I hope I have ruled well. But have I? I've done what was right, but what will I do now that I am me again?
And every time I break I get stronger
Everyday it's getting a bit colder

I'm still the same. Just not a ruler. Simply a destroyed commoner. I always thought it would be good to make this rule. But now I am nothing.
When I grow closer
To the devil on my shoulder
To the devil on my shoulder

The voice that ruled loves to tell me all the right things to do.

Beautiful silence
Beautiful pain
Beautiful people

No one talks to me, but I observe. I see every single person's beauty. Their worth in this world.
But we're all stained

Lost in a life
Full of mistakes
We do what feels right
Then we fall with no grace

I sigh, letting my old self come in again. The emotions! They're so... strange. Foreign.

I'mma sinner
I'mma tainted saint
I'mma savior
It's all the same

What I have done is erased. I'm just me. Will anyone ever rememeber me? Will they ever see my accomplishments? I'm just as selfish as anyone. I wish recognition.

Chased by the sun
Escaping flatlines

No one remembers. People ask if I remember the war. Ha! I led it. But I simply say I was a soldier and don't bring more up.
Dreams are a curse
Wake up you're alive

Oh slowly fading from the misery

The fire I let turn cold-hot is now rising again. The pain and ice and rock. But I don't want the numbness.
I've accepted who I'm supposed to be
I've accepted who I'm supposed to see
Lady in the mirror

So I turn it back to the old, warm fire I used to call. I used to fight fire with fire. I was a hothead, a strong one. One that could melt entire bases and make fires roar.
Oh everyday I'm getting a bit older
And every time I break I get stronger
Everyday it's getting a bit colder

I shake my head, refusing to let the cold take over. I won't let my fire be iced away.
When I grow closer
To the devil on my shoulder
To the devil on my shoulder

I sigh, deciding to talk to the last person I would talk to.

We're all broken, it's fate
It's the way that we're made
All the pieces are there
They just aren't in there place

"Fintan." A gasp and a flinch, then:

"Sophie?"
So I struggle to stand
But don't ask for a hand

"Yes. It's me."
My pride tells me no
You're better alone

I shake away the painful voice and whisper that I need his help.
I'm uncomfortably numb
As I stuff what I've found
And I start to shut down
Freeze in front of a crowd

And then the tears come. They're hot and they hurt but they feel amazing. I haven't cried since I was crowned.
It's what I don't say
I don't love I don't hate

"Are you alright?"

"No. But I will be."
Closing my mouth and turning my face
But it's no way to live to have nothing to give
Consuming the doubt
Not letting them in

But I do. I finally do. And I crumple into his arms. What an unlikely friend.
But I'm not here to win
To survive but I'm already dead
So I picked up my head
I picked up my head
I picked up my head

"Okay. Just checking." He says it like it's something tiny. No one has asked that since I was...

A teenager. I realize. I haven't been asked if I was okay since I was a teenager.

Oh everyday I'm getting a bit older
Everyday it's getting a bit colder
Oh everyday I'm getting a bit older
Everyday it's getting a bit colder
When I grow closer
To the devil on my shoulder
To the devil on my shoulder

But I'm working into making my devil a better person. Instead of fighting it, just changing it.

With Fintan's help.