for him | skephalo, fluff

denial

~Zak's POV~

I stared at Clay blankly, waiting for him to say something.

"Well?" I ask.

We were sitting on the edge of Clay's bed. It was the day after Darryl and I's beach day and Vincent's death. It was after school and he asked me to come over to explain what had happened.

I was clueless. All I knew was that he screwed up. At first I thought he got caught, but he would be in jail if he did. He got up and started pacing around the room.

"Explain please!" I practically yell.

He stops pacing and looks at me dead in the eye. He sighs before he opens his mouth. He's eyes looked teary. I was so confused.

"Vincent was innocent," he starts to say, his voice sounding choked.

I tilt my head. "I know. But he flirted with my boyfriend. That was the reason,"

Clay gulps. "Well, he never did flirt with your boyfriend. He didn't know you two were dating, so he tried to set you two up. He was telling Darryl good things about you,"

I swiftly look down at the ground and start to fidget with my fingers. "Oh," I say, feeling extremely guilty. "Did you let him go?"

Clay gulped again. He stopped and looked at his hands. He had a face of regret. "I couldn't. He knew too much. And what makes it worse is that he was so cooperative. It was like he didn't even care that he had to die," Clay looks me dead in the eye, startling me. I saw a tear roll down his face, "His last words were 'I'll try not to scream too loud,'"

My heart dropped. He really was innocent. "Well shit," I mumble.

———

The next morning I wake up and go through regular routine. Get ready for school, eat, go to school. Today was a Tuesday. I couldn't stop thinking about Vincent. At first, it was convenient that Darryl came over the day I was going to kill Vincent, because be completely honest, Vincent was my best friend, so to murder him would be a pain.

I start to think about Darryl. My love for him was dangerous. I could be putting him into danger. Maybe it's best if I leave him alone. No. No. I was protecting him. If I don't, there's no point in living.

I walk by the entrance of the school. It was empty. That was usually where I met Vincent in the morning. This didn't feel real. It felt like he was just going to come back one day. He was my best friend, but I wasn't saddened by his death. He didn't feel dead to me.

I met Darryl and the others in advisory. Everyone still didn't know about Vincent. Clay seemed especially stressed. George tried to cheer him up though.

I sit next to Darryl who looked excited to see me. I smile softly at him. I think back to my dream. The one where I kill him. The one where I killed his parents in front of him. I think of the time he cried because I killed his parents. If he knew, he wouldn't love me.

The words he said to me on that dream, they rung in my ears. "You monster," replayed in my ears over and over again.

Darryl noticed me stressing out. "You alright?" He asked.

I snapped back into reality to nod my head. "Hey, Zak?" Darryl says, "Do you know where Vincent is?"

I surprised emotion takes over my face and I look over at Clay. He frowned at me. "I'm not sure. Why?" I ask.

Darryl sighs. He placed his hand in his palm, and relaxes on it. "Vincent's not here yet and class is almost starting. Do you think he's sick? Should I text him?" He says again.