Sexual Exploration 2

53

RM said nothing, but he didn't back away when Agust walked closer.

"Please," Agust begged, his shaking hand outstretched. "Please...baby..."

RM let Agust get close enough, then suddenly grabbed the alters hand, turning around and yanking Agust up against his back. He doubled over and threw the alter over his shoulder, and Agust gasped when the air left his lungs as his back hit the floor painfully.

RM was quick to slam his foot down on top of Agust's chest, and Agust coughed, his hands shooting up to try and push the boy off him.

The younger alter leaned forward, pressing his weight down more on Agust, a cold glare on his face.

"How could you?" RM hissed, and Agust's heart fractured more when he saw tears gathering in the alters eyes. "You know better than anyone else how it feels to have someone hold you down and hurt you in ways you can't recover from. And yet, you still went and did the same thing to me! I never did anything to you! And you just-"

He cut himself off, angrily scrubbing his arm across his eyes.

Agust swallowed hard, turning his head away as his own tears spilled down from his closed eyes.

He knew changing was going to be a long and difficult process, but he never expected it to hurt this much.

He had always seen himself as the victim, deep down. And even though he had called himself the bad guy before and acted like he enjoyed the title, he never once did.

So to see himself painted in a mirror by RM  where he wasn't the victim, but the ugly monster bad guy that he always blamed someone else of being...made Agust feel sick.

"You're right." Agust whispered, opening his eyes. "I became the very thing I hated most in the world, and all the while I was being the bad guy I was still seeing myself as the victim. But I stopped being the victim the second I turned into a hypocritical monster."

RM sniffed and glared, stomping his foot down on Agust's chest, making the alter wince. "You're damn right you're a monster! What the hell did I ever do to you? What did I do to deserve what you did to me? What did Yoongi do to deserve what Byungwoo did to him? Not! A! Fucking! Thing!"

He accented each word with a forceful kick and Agust let it happen, crying out in the pain that he deserved.

"It's like you didn't care at all about stopping the cycle! You wanted to continue it! You wanted to hurt me!" RM shouted, the tears running freely down his face now. "Did you ever think there was a reason Yoongi took those pills? That maybe- just maybe- he wasn't the terrible bad guy you always viewed him as?"

Agust rolled onto his side, curling into a ball as he wrapped his arms around his sides. The movement caused aching pain, but Agust needed it to hurt more. He needed it to hurt more than how he had hurt him.

With an exhausted sigh, the baby alter finally stopped, backing up against the wall and sinking down it until he hit the floor. He raised his knees to his chest and buried his face in them, his arms crossed to hide himself as he sobbed.

Agust winced as he pushed himself to his hands and knees, glancing over and seeing RM hiding.

With a groan, he got to his feet and slowly walked over, crouching down in front of the crying boy.

"Baby..." He reached out and hesitated, before placing his hand down softly over the boys hair. "Please, can I make it up to you?"

RM raised his head and glared, throwing off Agust's hand. "Who said you deserved a second chance?"