small world

chapter 41

On February first we were in Germany, and I turned 19 years old. I’m still a teenager, a young man, but sometimes I forget how young I am. With the amount of work we do everyday, the amount of things we have done in such a short time, the amount of love I have for a girl so early on in my life, sometimes I feel as though in months of singing and loving and living I have lived a hundred years. Being in a foreign place on my birthday felt somewhat lonesome without my mother cooking my favorite meal and my family sat around our kitchen in Holmes Chapel. But with Louis and Niall and Liam and Zayn and Charlie, no matter where I went I felt at home. It was a show day, so we woke up early and rehearsed for sound check but until 6PM the day was mine. The six of us, including Eleanor and Danielle, who had taken a short holiday to spend time with Liam, went to lunch and explored the city. It was a simple day but I wouldn’t have changed it. After everyone went back to the hotel, Charlie, Louis and I went walking the other direction to do some shopping around the city. Stood in the middle I had my arm around Louis and Charlie’s hand in mine. It was a beautiful thing, our friendship. To think it started off as Charlie and I best friends when we were young, and when she lost me, she gained Louis. They were best friends throughout middle school and high school but then when Louis had to leave her for X Factor, he had me. And I’ll never forget that day when I walked into my mother’s kitchen and saw a beautiful girl standing there, a beautiful girl that Louis knew, and a beautiful girl that I would later fall in love with. It was such a small world the way things played out for us. In the past, only two of us were ever together at once, but now it was the three of us, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

The boys all pitched in and got me an expensive watch that decorated my wrist alongside my tiny little tattoos quite nicely, and Charlie waited until that evening to give me her gift. The show that night stood out more than the rest, the entire venue sang happy birthday to me. And in the end I realized that I was spending my birthday with my family, my best mates, my Charlotte, and my fans who loved me just as much.

After the show, Charlie took my hand and asked me to go on a walk alone with her. As we walked through the city it was overcome by the still of the night, and as we walked to city disappeared and turned into a quaint little town. For a while we remained silent as we passed through the lightly snow covered town in our pea coats and scarves, hand in hand the quiet was comfortable. And most of the time when I looked back when we were just hanging out, I don’t even know what we talk about. I just listen to the sound of her voice, and her laugh, and listen to the sound of her listening to me. We reached a bench and silently agreed to sit, and as we did Charlie looked up at the stars. 

CHARLIE

I could feel his eyes on my skin, I always could. As if they radiated some sort of knowing signal, I could always feel it the way I could feel his presence in a room or the completeness when he finally crawled into bed at night. I shifted my gaze to the stars in his eyes and I smiled up at him.

“Do you remember the first night in Holmes Chapel?” I whispered and he nodded.

“I remembered seeing you laying in the backyard from my window.”

“Why’d you join me that night?”

“I just, I just wanted to be with you.”

“How come?”

His lips pressed together in a firm line as little dimples in his skin appeared on his chin. For a moment he glanced up, and then his stare landed back to mine.

“I think I was looking for something that at the time I didn’t know you had but I know now you always did.”

I stared up at him waiting for more.