Off to a Great Start (Adventures!AU Book 1)

Chapter 9: Plot Armor

Trev is in trouble. And yes, I literally had a building collapse on me and survived thanks purely to plot armor. I enjoy making fun of tropes.
But also yes, in the last self insert fiasco there were some sailors I didn't get along with too well.

Content Warning: Mentions of attempted sexual assault

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In no time flat I had Trevor shoved up against the side of a building and was repeatedly slamming him into the bricks. "You left me!" I shouted, his back hitting the wall with every word. "By thunder, I ought yeet your damn ass to kingdom come!"

Coughing, Trevor gave me a weak grin. "I see you still remember Allan's swears!"

A dark, almost murderous smirk split my face. "Aye, and I remember his advanced interrogation techniques too!"

Trevor's hands went down to his groin. "Don't remind me of that!"

"You deserved to have your dick shot!"

"Why didn't the sailors ever go after you? You mouthed off more than me!"

"Are you forgetting that they hit me with a damn truck ?!"

"How is that worse than me getting shot in the dick?!"

"The building collapsed on me, jackass!"

"Karking hells, how are either of you alive?!" Hunter exclaimed, walking up to stand beside us.

"Plot armor," Trevor and I replied in unison.

That was not helpful in the slightest to shaggy haired sergeant. "What is plot armor ?"

Tech trotted over, definition at the ready. "A literary term used when a character in a story survives something they should never live through. They are too important to the story itself so they are, quite literally, protected by the plot!" His brows furrowed. "But wait... I thought your experience with the sailors actually happened? If you say you were protected by plot armor, then your experience with them did not truly happen."

I shrugged and dropped Trevor. He hit the sidewalk with a yelp and rubbed his backside. "Ow! My poor tailbone."

"Fuck your tailbone," I snorted before turning to Hunter and Tech. "If it was a story, then I have no idea where in the hell I got these." I lifted the bottom of my shirt, exposing my middle and the two nasty scars stretching across the toned skin.

I heard a sharp inhale from Tech as his eyes went wide. "What happened?"

"Some sailors wanted to see more of me than I wanted to show." I chuckled, but there was no humor in it. "But I don't think they'll be using their dicks anytime soon. If ever again."

"Rotation Seventeen is quite effective," Trevor agreed from the ground.

"Rotation Seventeen?" Hunter echoed.

Dropping my shirt back down, I nodded with a wicked grin. "Fists of Fury." I started towards Hunter. "Want me to show you?"

He took a quick step back. "Absolutely not." His helmet turned towards Trevor, who had pulled himself up on the wall. "I would, however, like a word with you ," he growled.

Trevor grinned nervously. "Ah! Yes, well, you see, I left my fish in their tanks, I gotta go check on-!"

Hunter grabbed his collar and slammed him against the wall.

"Them!" Trevor squeaked. Green eyes shot towards me. "I think you'll get along great with these men!"

"Cut the shit, Trev. Hunter's feelin' stabby so I wouldn't recommend pissin' him off."