Off to a Great Start (Adventures!AU Book 1)

Chapter 15: I Want You To Remember This Moment

Having an anxiety trigger of hits to the head is not exactly helpful in sparring.
Also yes another mention of the sailors because I can.
Enjoy too some of my original language!

Content Warning: Anxiety

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Dead.

This sad insinuation of a man was dead .

Teeth bared, craving the feel of skin breaking beneath a sharp bite, I stared James down as we broke apart again. Predictably, I could feel the usual tears in my eyes from the glancing blow he'd scored to my head.

Stupid.

It was so damn stupid .

I'd been bucked off a horse multiple times in real life. Hell, that one time I got bucked off I more or less landed on my face and skid five feet though the dirt only to get back up, indignantly brush myself off, and go chasing after Bill again.

So why did a simple glancing blow to the head bring tears to my eyes?

We'd tried so hard to work that out of me while I was on the ship. So damn hard. Small sparring sessions every day where Tom would purposefully direct soft hits to my head. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, so it all seemed to be fine. Then I'd go against Allan and sure enough I was crying again. Despite his gruff, mean exterior he'd always look like he felt bad afterwards.

That only made me feel worse.

I was fucking sick of this damn anxiety!

James laughed at me. "I told you you always cry, kitty! Give it up before you hurt yourself!"

"The only one getting hurt will be you!" I spat back, darting in and rolling a backfist towards his head. He blocked up but left his ribs open. A swift punch sent him staggering back, leaving him exposed for a back kick.

Coughing as he tried to catch his breath, James hacked, "You're doing this for what ? A bunch of rejects so dysfunctional that even an army composed of meat droids wouldn't take them?"

The ground trembled beneath my feet again, markings flickering brighter. I raced in again with a snarl, slapping his guard down and landing a punch to his nose before darting back out.

Blood now streaming down his face, the hate in his eyes burned brighter than ever before. "They're nothing but drones! All clones!" he snarled. "They were created for one purpose and one purpose only. To die !"

A fresh wave of anger seared my body, erupting in the form of a snarl as I launched myself at James again. Reaching out, I felt a tug in my shoulders and upper back as dirt from the path whipped up and blasted James in the eyes.

Trying my best to ignore Wrecker's cheering, for he had no way of knowing that only made the anxiety attack worse , I dashed for James and tackled him to the ground again. A sharp pain exploded in my ribs as he lashed out blindly, but it only made me madder.

Voice echoed in my head.

"Go for the eyes. If 'e can't see, 'e can't fight!" Tom.

"Nah, hit 'im where it hurts! Go for 'is cock!" Neil.

"Doesn't matter where you go for." Allan. His characteristic dark smile flashed across my vision. "Just make sure that bastard will never forget your face!"

A wicked grin split my face, twisting my lips into a feral snarl and exposing my teeth. Sir, yes, sir !

I wouldn't kill James.