Spinning

Chapter 35: two emerald necklaces

            The rain starts. It's a light mist, but I feel the short tendrils of my hair start to curl in the most unflattering way. A saltiness lingers on my lips as the dried sweat from my run rehydrates and runs down my face.

            Eddie is next to me, leaning on the railing, also looking out at the churning sea. We haven't spoken yet. Our only acknowledgement of each other is the occasional exchange of the lit cigarette.

            "I haven't forgotten what you said to me. I promise, I'll leave you alone. But I wanted to apologize one more time. One more time before... well, before I leave you alone."

His voice is weary. My body is weary. I want to cry and run and scream and crumble all at the same time. He continues.

"I really thought I could win you back, but you're so resilient. I should've known it wouldn't work. You're too stubborn, in the best way. But I really had hope on that final play. My final act. Your immunity impresses me."

There's a hint of a smile mixed in with the sadness of his voice. But I don't know what he's referring to... his final act?

"The dishwasher? You thought fixing my dishwater would settle everything?" Eddie looks at me like I'm sprouting tiny gnomes from my ears.

"What? No, the picture— wait, you haven't opened it yet?"

Ah, of course. The picture.

"Oh, uh, not exactly." I blink a few times. Am I imagining the pain in his eyes slowly disappearing? His gaze is spellbinding. I can't look away, even as he reaches out and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. His touch pulls my heart into my throat. He must be able to hear how ferociously it's beating...

"Do you remember the last time we up here?"

I nod. How could I ever forget? I think my voice box is broken. I'm staring at his lips. Jordan, goddamn it, look away! Be strong!

"I was pretty cold towards you. I should've apologized to you the next day. Kissed you the next day. I should've done a thousand things like a nobler man would have. But I didn't. I'm not a noble man. I want to be. Damn it, I want to be, for you."

I'm going insane. I see the pain in his eyes, hear it in his voice, and his pain triggers some sympathetic hormone in me. I need to heal his pain, probably at the cost of my own happiness. I need to.

"I made so many mistakes. So many, starting from the last time we were up here, together. I want to make it up to you. I'm begging. Let me make it up to you."

He's looking at my lips now, as I look between his lips and eyes. I know what he wants; I know what he's implying. He's searching my eyes for permission. Jordan, stop this madness. But I can't. I want him to make it up to me. I stare back at his lips. They are getting closer.

Eddie's thumb traces my hairline, before gently cupping my chin and bringing me in for the most gentle, chaste kiss I've ever received. It was simple – no tongue or lip movement, just direct, simple contact that lingers as we both fight our desire for more physical contact.

Too soon, Eddie pulls away. My lips tingle, joining my wrists, and I want more. I want more, but I remember Stone's words: Make him work for it. Plus, I'm sweaty and salty from earlier. A shower takes priority.

"Eddie—," but I'm silenced by one more quick, gentle kiss.

"You don't need to say anything. I'm going to leave you alone. But please, open the picture I gave you."

Eddie looks at me one more time, and the love and passion painted on his face is so strong that it's nearly unbearable. He tucks that rogue piece of hair behind my ear one more time, before leaving me alone on the roof-deck, reeling.