Spinning

Chapter 20: shot trays

"Matt, don't be a goddamn ass."

Matt shrugs. "You are what you eat."

Susan laughs nervously while Chris gives an uncertain half smile. The awkwardness of the night will hopefully melt away soon with the next round of drinks.

Justin Bieber fills our living room. Jess exclusively listens to boys ranging from prepubescent to pubescent, and always complains when I put real music on. Chris asks who Justice Bieber is. I think Jess is going to faint. I see a smile dance on Chris's lips as he feigns ignorance while Jess explains: "Justin Bieber, is the most handsome..."

"Who wants shots?" I'm desperate to change the mood of the evening, and stop Jess from talking. No one answers except Matt.

"I'll handle it," he announces dramatically. "I'm the only licensed bartender in the room."

Matt's tall frame leaves the room with flare, as Chris throws Eddie a questioning look that I intercept. Eddie just shrugs and smiles. Nothing could faze Eddie after Matt's deck adventures at EnVision. Somehow Eddie seems to be enjoying himself, despite Jess's overt judgment of his flannel shirt and shorts with duck tape covering some rips.

"Now remember everyone, always swallow, never spit," Matt says as he announces his return to the room with a series of shots on a tray. Like a waiter, he walks around the room offering tequila off the tray. I take the first one, hoping that encourages Chris and Susan, who don't seem to know how to handle Matt and his innuendo, to do the same.

"Thorn, remember that time you went home with that guy because he offered to make you guacamole?"

Yes, Jessica, you goddamn witch, of course I remember. I never got my goddamn guacamole and I know your goddamn intentions here. Her eyes flash to Eddie to gauge his reaction. Eddie reads her game and starts asking Matt about when he was a bartender. God bless my sweet angel.

"Yeah, was that the same night you cried to the bartender about Korey?" Jess's face goes neutral immediately. Tit for tat. I see Eddie try to contain his smile.

If Matt has one specialty, it's getting people drunk. And not just your average drunk. Really, messily, incoherently, end-the-night-in-darkness, drunk. I know it's only a matter of time before this prophecy comes true. I also know Matt well enough to only take every other round of shots offered. But the naivety of the rest of the group was shining through. Eddie is swaying next to me, occasionally reaching for my arm to stabilize himself, while Susan giggles loudly at a joke Jess makes that is fundamentally not funny. Chris is riling Matt up by thwarting his incessant penis jokes with better ones.

"Chris, I already told you, size doesn't matter. You just gotta get on your knees and swallow."

Matt gets on his knees with his shot glass to demonstrate.

"This is where your wrong, Matt. I agree about the size. But it's the girth you want to look out for," Chris slurs slightly, pointing at the diameter of the shot glass before throwing it back. "Girth matters. Right Susan?" Susan giggles some more.

I look around the success of the party. "Party." More like, small, awkward gathering. I managed to turn Justin Bieber off, and compromised with some of Mumford and Son's more pop-y songs. Not my favorite, but not goddamn Justin Bieber.

Jess heads to her bedroom to take a call from Nick. Nick. Korey two-point-oh, essentially.

"Jordan, I need some fresh air. Will you escort me?" Susan can't stop goddamn giggling. I wish I had a gag for her to bite on.