My Dear Lover

Chapter 24 Luciels

(Casey POV)

I couldn't remember the last time I had seen Luna so happy. From the moment she sat down she had yet to stop talking. Usually I was the one carrying our conversations, telling her about my day, or work, or what I had for dinner last night. I had clear instructions not to tell her anything about Angel or her father, or anything about Martin. The last one was a given, but I tried my best to not upset her.

Truth be told, the person sitting in front of me was not my best friend. I quickly realized that after my first visit at Springs Meadow almost five months ago. She looked like Luna, she sounded like Luna, she even laughed like her, but the girl sitting in front of me was not her. It was disheartening to say the least. Every visit for the last five months had been even more painful than the last. The worst part was leaving her here. I knew it was for the best however harsh it might have been. Spring Meadows, as misleading as its name may be, was the only place I knew Luna would be shielded from the mess that was Martin's trial. Five months and he still had hearing after hearing before he was even close to being convicted. 

The hardest part in all of this was seeing Angel. Knowing she was alive and breathing was one thing, still being separated from her even after all this time had passed was another. After he had run into Megan five months ago, he had begun going out, hanging out with her husband, and even started working again. It was a good thing his father had left him money and a namesake to inherit after all this time.

Each visit was the same, despite his small progress.

"How is she?"

"Better."

"Does she look alright? How is she feeling? Is she eating?"

"Yes...good....I think so."

"Did she ask about her dad?"

"No."

"Did she ask about me?"

"...No."

Then he would nod once and then silently walk out of the room with his head down, his hand shoved into his pockets. Then he would come back the next visiting day and ask the same questions all over again.

I found that the less I said, the better it was for all parties. I hadn't even found the nerve to tell Cam any of this. He loved Luna...I knew that, but he couldn't fathom why she hated everyone so much. It was hard for him to understand that Luna had suffered so much trauma at the hands of Martin that she had decided it was best to retreat so far in her own mind than deal with her new reality. It wasn't as if she wouldn't want to see him either. Five months in and she had yet to want to see anyone but me.

It was a hard concept for anyone to wrap their own minds around. But it was just her way of coping. In reality, it was something that I had to remind myself about as well. She wasn't the girl I had loved anymore. I was expecting her to be my best friend, the person who's window I would climb when I was a kid to watch scary movies we weren't allowed to watch.

Kelly had told me that it was best to talk about things that she used to love, things that made her laugh, things that made her smile. But those things weren't enough anymore.

Instead I settled for being here for her whenever I could and listening to her for however long she needed.

"I was thinking maybe after I get the okay from Kelly, that you and I could go out. You know...go for ice cream or something? Remember that place out by Stepford? Remember?"

Luna dragged me from my thoughts, back into the uncomfortable sterile chairs I sat in twice a week.

"Yeah yeah, it was called-" I searched for the name in my mind.

"Luciels!" We said at the same time.

"We snuck out of the house when we were like 12 and walked all the way to Luciels!" I smiled, remembering how long it had taken us to get to the tiny ice cream shop when we were children.

"Yes! Remember the worst part is that they were closed by the time we got there."

It had been a bad idea from the start but the worst part was that the 10 minute drive had taken us well over 30 minutes to walk and the heat had only slowed us down.

"Yeah but Luciel let us in after she found us sitting on the curb of the street and gave us two scoops of rocky road ice cream with-!"

"Extra marshmallows." Luna finished my sentence for me. Her eyes were no longer on mine, instead they were trained on the white table in between us.

Was this what Kelly had been talking about? Was she remembering parts of her past?

"Yes...they were your favorite! You would eat all the marshmallows and then wait for the chocolate ice cream to practically become chocolate soup. You would drink it straight out of the cup!" I laughed, watching her eyes focus and unfocus on the table.

When she looked up at me, tears were in her eyes. The smile on her face was just a whisper. For a moment...just one second...I saw her. I saw the girl I loved. But just as quickly as she had been there, she had disappeared. She blinked her tears away and cleared her throat.

"I like mint chocolate chips now. All that chocolate makes my stomach hurt." She shook her head, smiling up at me the same way she had been when I first walked in.

Almost practiced...mechanical. It was nothing like the easy smile I knew and loved. The one etched into my memory.

"Mint? Since when? You used to say that it tasted as if toothpaste and chocolate decided to have an abomination." I laughed, trying to bring back that look in her eyes.

Luna opened her mouth but decided to close it. She tried again but sounded so unsure of herself. "I-I don't really know. I just do."

"Well...then we will definitely go to Luciels soon so that you can have some of her Rocky Road and you can remember exactly why you liked it so much before." I reached out and took her hand in mine. 

She squeezed my hand and smiled.

"You need to talk to Kelly...she is the one that needs to sign off on my visits outside Spring Meadows. Maybe we could even go to the mall...I can't stop thinking about those cinnamon buns from Harley's"

I laughed remembering how much she used to love that sugary bread, that was more sticky cinnamon sugar than bread.

"Okay...I will make sure to ask, but for now, tell me more about this place...have you made any new friends?"

Luna proceeded to tell me about the people she had met. Mostly she told me about Arthur, Mr. Jim, the gardener she saw on Saturdays when she was allowed to go out to the back, and Rikon, a young man who didn't speak but always listened.

The two hours we spent three times a week flew by and before I knew it, I was standing up to leave.

For the first time since she had been allowed to have these visits with me, Luna got up and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. She stood on the tippy tips of her toes and kissed my cheek softly.

"Don't forget to talk to Kelly...I would really love that ice cream."

I squeezed her gently into me and breathed her in. "Okay Babe...I'll ask." I used the name I had been calling her since we were children and felt her stiffen against me. I gave her one more squeeze and saw Arthur Miles walk in to escort her back out the room.

"Bye Casey..." She shot me a smile over her shoulder and then walked out.

"Bye Luna." I responded, somehow finding that I felt lighter than I had when I arrived.