Some Head Canons...for Everything

The Silmarillion ~ You Promised

A/N: I'm pretty sure I can only write sad head canons. Oh well.  Here's a sad one. The picture in the media section alone is enough to make me sad. But have fun reading...actually if you do have fun you're a creepy psychopath who needs mental help :3 

As always, please comment and vote!

Maeglin sat on the edge of a fountain, brooding. Life went on around him, yet he could not continue to keep its pace. He was a traitor to Gondolin now, and also partly a traitor to himself. Every day, he became more and more like his father, filled with more darkness. Now he was helping the evil side. Laughing quietly to himself, Maeglin thought, What does it matter? Good or evil; it only depends on what your perspective is.

So, since he had duties to fulfill, he made Morgoth the good side in his head. After all, Morgoth had promised him the hand Idril if victory over Gondolin was theirs. When had Turgon ever even thought of him and Idril together? When had Idril even thought of them? 

Maeglin's countenance darkened, and his eyebrows drew close together. Idril probably thought about him often, but not in the way he wanted. She hated him for his love for her; there was no mistaking that. She had made him feel like an outcast, hated by almost all. Now, while he knew he wasn't hated by everyone... most of the population of the city didn't trust him for one reason or another. It was probably better for him to work in the service of Morgoth: he had the mightier army, promised to give Maeglin Idril, and was going to win. Not a single person in Gondolin could possibly surive Morgoth's attack without warning.

Maeglin was stirred from his brooding by a young Elfling shouting, "Maeglin! Maeglin!" He looked up, his thoughts darkening even more when he saw who it was: Earendil. Earendil, with his pale face and light-brown hair, seemed to be the embodiment of why Maeglin was doing everything he was. Earendil, Idril's son, made Maeglin's want to see Gondolin fall ten times stronger. Earendil, the Elfling--no. He was not an Elf, now was he? Not fully, at least.

He would have liked to be left alone, but knew Earendil was persistent and wouldn't allow it. So Maeglin plastered a smile to his face and beckoned him over. Happily, Earendil rushed to his side, sitting down on the fountain beside him.

"There you are!" he exclaimed, turning to face the Elf. "I was looking for you! I brought you something." Earendil held out a handful of blue and purple flowers. Trying not to show his annoyance, Maeglin took them and forced a grin.

"Thank you, Earendil."

Earendil nodded. As soon as he looked away, Meaglin made to throw the flowers away, but something stopped him. Earendil always gave him something or other, and he gave often, at least once a week. Maeglin looked down at the flowers again. They were so beautiful: blue like the night sky and purple like the rainment of royalty. He had always liked to think that the boy hated him, and that he was acting only on Idril's words to bring him flowers and such. While not entirely realistic, given that Idril always scorned him, it made Maeglin feel better about what he was doing. Of  course, Earendil would have to fall with the city. Suddenly, Maeglin asked, "Earendil, why don't you hate me?"

Earendil's gaze snapped to Maeglin's. "Why don't I hate you? Why should I hate you?"

Maeglin nodded, cringing internally. For some reason, that sentence, said in the voice of a happy innocent child, made him feel guilty. Guilty, just because it was Earendil saying it! Why? He hated Earendil. 

"Do you like me?" Meaglin questioned. He needed to know exactly how the boy felt. It was nagging at him now.

Earendil hesitated. "Well...to be honest, I do not even really know you. My mother forbids me from speaking with you, but I do anyways. It isn't that I like you all that much, mostly because I know you love my mother, and she loves my father, and nothing you can do will change that...I can just sense that you need help. You're fighting with yourself, aren't you? What's wrong, Maeglin? You can tell me anything, and I swear on...on... everything that I won't tell anyone."