Holden Steele's Ruin [Completed]

Chapter 26

His lips began to move against mine, lifting a smile to my face. It however, didn't bare its usual intensity. When he kissed me it would always leave me trembling with desire, he would have me coming undone with every flick of his tongue.

He was holding back, his movements against my lips hesitant. It was utterly frustrating. I wanted him to ravish me, to completely consume me in every senses.

"Don't you want me?" I whispered, staring down at the space behind him in embarrassment.

He mashed his lips together while his hands that were still at his side clenched tightly.

"Of course I want you, I want you ever goddamn time. I just don't think this is what you need right now" his eyes held mine as a grave look passed over them "someone broke into your room tonight, your still shaken up"

He was doing the opposite of what I wanted, I didn't need to be reminded about what had happened. Every time I thought of it my stomach twisted in the most dreadful way. I understood why he was so hesitant to let things go further, but I needed him so much.

"I can feel his hands on me. I- I need you...to wipe his memory from my head" I cupped his strong jaw, forcing his eyes to meet my desperate ones.

"I don't think that's what you need, your not thinking straight" he tried to reason.

"Please" I pleaded, drawing his face closer to mine.

His shoulders slumped inconsiderably as a low sigh blew past his lips. I drew my lips back to his, my hands flying to soft hair as I tugged him closer to me. He moved his lips slowly on mine while his hands rested stiffly against my hips.

Craving the passion he would always evoke in me, I pushed him onto the bed before climbing over him. My tongue ran over his bottom lip, biting it softly between my teeth. I felt the vibration of his groan as he opened his mouth, meeting his tongue with mine.

Unadulterated pleasure shot to my toes as his tongue swept over mine, igniting every part of my being. I gasped slightly when he switched our positions, my head landing softly on his sheets.

Holden quietly kissed his way down my exposed neck with a tenderness nobody had ever shown me. His hot mouth placed open mouthed kisses at the conjunction of my jaw as I dug my fingers deeper into his back, watching as they left long red lines in their wake. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I drew his body closer to mine. His erection poking at my covered core.

"Fuck!" He roared quietly as I grinned against him, the friction taking me to new heights.

I blindly fumbled with Holden's zipper between our flush bodies, sloppily tugging on it. I groaned against his lips in frustration when he stopped my hand, restraining me from discarding his jeans. His movement seized as his eyes traveled back up to mine.

"Your crying" he sighed while lightly grazing his fingers over the single trail of tears on both my cheeks. As if his words were the trigger, a loud sob ripped from my clogged throat as I crumbled to his chest.

I wanted this, right? I wanted to feel Holden's touch, for him to help me forget. So why did I feel so dirty, life I was using him.

"Y- you said you want to forget him. Who...who is he?" Holden whispered hesitatingly, seating up beside me after I had calmed down.

"Holden" it was a whispered plea. I was terrified of telling him, I didn't want to see his reaction.

"I know the last thing you want is for me to ask questions" he said while rubbing the frown lines between his eyebrows "but its fucking frustrating seeing you fall part and not knowing why"