Holden Steele's Ruin [Completed]

Chapter 10

Monday came by in a blur of nerves and exhaustion. I had just had yet another sleepless night and I could immediately feel its effect in the form of the massive headache I was currently spotting.

I had earlier grabbed a large coffee on my way to my first class, hoping it would at least dull the pounding between my ears. Much to my dismay the pounding had only increased, my already bad mood soaring. The small noises in the large lecture hall seemed louder, even the most inconspicuous noises like the shuffling of papers had me gritting my teeth; so when the class was released, I practically flew out the door.

I had roughly two hours before my next class giving me more than enough time to catch some sleep. I quickly stuffed my books into my bag carelessly as I walked out of the class, all of my focus on getting to my bed.

I had just stepped into the hallway when I bumped into a solid chest. I bit back a curse as I groaned loudly, muttering a quick apology and continuing on my way without even sparing the stranger a glance. I was startled when a hand shot up to gripped my forearm momentarily making me lose my footing. Huffing in annoyance I traced my eyes from the arm holding me to face a brown haired boy. He was quite tall with boyish features and a nervous expression on his face.

"Um sorry" his honey coloured eyes widened considerably as he quickly dropped my had as though I had burnt him "d- do you remember me?" He looked quite uncomfortable asking this, his eyes not meeting mine as they haphazardly pounced around the hall. I had no idea why and how I would know him, but his voice did sound familiar.

"I am the guy from the party Friday" he all but winced as he said this clearly noticing my confusion. The second he confessed this, I was slapped out of my tired daze, my mind immediately clearing. The pounding in my head was accompanied by the wild beating of my heart as my lungs constricted, painfully cutting off my air supply. I subconsciously took a large step away from him, frantically looking for the nearest exit.

"Hey, I swear I'm not hear to hurt you, I just want to apologies to you. I promise" he raised both his hands to further prove his statement, his eyes portraying sincerity. I slowly nodded my head, still rather apprehensively but curious to know what exactly happened.

"I was in the kitchen when you walked by and I immediately thought you were hot; but I swear, I wasn't going to act on it" He said desperation lacing his words as his pale cheeks tinted red.

"A blonde haired guy later came up to me, h- he told me you were into me and that you liked it rough. Um...at the time, in my drug filled high, I didn't notice anything suspicious and immediately jumped at the opportunity" I refused to look him in the eyes, I was a complete coward and I was painfully aware of it. I knew if I did, I would see the sincerity in them and all my horrid nightmares would come alive.

Was I really such a bad person for wanting to pin all the blame on him, for wanting to pretend the problem was much smaller than it actually was?

"I'm ashamed of what I did and I can't apologize enough for doing such a vile thing to you. I know being drunk is not an excuse, but I want you to know I would never do such a thing sobber" I felt sorry at how disgusted he sounded with himself, his face crestfallen as he stared intently at the ground. I sighed, knowing I had to accept it wasn't his fault. He was just a pawn in an sick man's game and unfortunately I was the target.  

I had just opened my mouth to tell him that I forgive him, when a loud commotion silenced me. A fist suddenly collided with the brown haired guy's faces, successfully knocking him to the floor, a loud thud ringing through the hall.

"I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from her!" The ferocity in Holdens voice was enough to crumble even the bravest of people, he curled his fist tightly as the veins on his neck straining. His grey eyes were ablaze, pure malaise running through them. I felt pity for who ever his glare was directed to.

"Holden stop this!" Distress was clear as day in my voice as I watched him strike the guy again, stronger than the last, causing his nose to gush out a steady flow of blood to the rim of his upper lip. I hadn't noticed the copious amount of people watching the altercation and when I did I wished I hadn't, my chest felt clogged up at the unwanted attention, I hated it. The sight of an angry Holden seemed to petrify all the other students who littered the halls too. They all stood still almost pressed to the wall, clearly wanting to be anywhere else.

"Why the hell would you let him get close to you!" His anger this time was directed towards me, if I wasn't standing against the wall I would be on the floor with how nerve wrecking it was. I couldn't help but notice the flicker of disappointment swimming in the sea of rage that were his eyes "why won't you just fucking press charges against him?!" He said this while lowering his voice but with just the same amount of intensity.

The last sentence is what had me straightening my spine and hardening my stance. He didn't have any right to demand something like that from me, he didn't know how much was at stake if I pressed charges, but I knew. I was painfully aware of it every goddamn day.

"You don't know me Holden, you know nothing about me, we are practically strangers. So don't dare tell me what to do and not do!" I said this past the knot in my throat, forcing each word out of my mouth while looking him straight in the eye. For a fleeting moment I thought I saw a flicker of hurt in his eyes but it was going as fast as it came, it might have just been my desperate mind imaging it.

"Your right I know nothing about you, we're practically strangers right and that's all will ever be" he spat while curling his thin artistic fingers into large fists "do whatever the fuck you want, go to him and pretend Friday never happened that I was never there for you!" he added acidly before turning around and heading down the hall. I had no idea why my heart ached so much at his tone, subconsciously my hand flew to the spot on my chest that stung painfully.

I watched his retreating back my heart clenching at the sight. Its probably for the best to have some distance between us, the logical part of me said but the irrational part of me wanted to run after him and apologize for being so harsh, he had gone out of his way to help me and further showed up to check if I was okay. He didn't deserve my harsh words.

"Your boyfriend packs a mean punch" the guy Holden punched spoke reminding me that I wasn't alone. My eyes immediately traveled the expanse of his battered and bruised body, wincing at the damage Holden had done.

"Not my boyfriend" I mumbled before high tailing my way out of the building towards my room, hiding behind my curtain of hair and hopping no one would remember anything that happened by tomorrow. Somehow I knew they would defiantly remember, no one had probably ever talked to Holden in such a manner, with how scared the other students looked, that was possibly the truth.

The headache I had earlier came became ten times worse, pounding relentlessly against my skull. I pushed my spectacles further up the bridge of my nose as I climbed the stairs of our dorm building wanting nothing more than to be under my blanket, passed out from exhaustion.

Once in the room, I took two pain killers that immediately reduced the pounding in my head into soft thuds between my eyebrows. I removed  shoes before climbing into bed, sighing in content. The events of today had not yet registered in my head but I knew I would immediately regret airing out my thought to Holden in a hallway with an audience when I was no longer sleep deprived.

But for now all I wanted was to go to sleep.

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