From Here to Hidden

CHAPTER 12 | BETH

As Bekahs voice trailed off down the stairs, she heard the bathroom door open. Chris was wearing her pj's and her wet hair was brushed and pulled back in a loose ponytail. Beth felt a small ache as she recognized that the last bit of 'little girl' had all but disappeared from her daughter's face, only to have been replaced with the beginning features of a young woman. She had always been a slender girl, if for no other reason than the fact that she played so much soccer, but Beth had started to notice her curves starting to take shape. They'd already done the illustrious bra shopping; a trip that had mortified Chris to no end. Since then she had gotten over her modesty a bit and was starting to open up a bit more. Beth had always vowed that she wouldn't push her to talk about anything she wasn't comfortable talking about. She had always tried to make sure that she was available to her when or if she needed it. Realizing that Bekah wouldn't ever have that opportunity with her own mother, Beth's heart sank a little bit. She couldn't even begin to imagine how awkward that might be for Bekah when it came time to have certain conversations, especially with her dad.

"You look pretty. How was your shower?" Beth asked, smiling at her daughter.

"Best. Shower. Ever. Now, what's for dinner? I'm absolutely starving?"

"Coach Anderson is making spaghetti. I think everyone else is already downstairs. Why don't you go on down and I'll be there in a bit?"

"Cool. Towels are under the sink," she said as she headed back down the stairs.

Beth headed into the bathroom and dropped her bag on the counter. It was quite evident that this was Bekah's bathroom. The bright pink and purple shower curtain might have been what gave it away. She turned the water on in the shower to let it start to warm up. She really hoped that in the excitement of getting to take a hot shower Chris hadn't used up all of the hot water. She hadn't even thought to mention to her to take it easy with the water supply, especially knowing that Chris liked to all but scald herself in the shower. Silently praying that wasn't the case this time, Beth undressed and tossed her dirty clothes back into her bag. She pulled her hair down out of the ponytail that had been holding it in place on top of her head; her wavy brown locks falling in perfect line with the frame of her face.

She turned her head from side to side, slowly analyzing the features staring back at her. Her skin was losing its youthfulness; the crow's feet she once couldn't see were all the more evident around her eyes. She had wrinkles on her forehead and lines on her face when she smiled. Despite how young she felt on most days, she had to admit that she was starting to look more and more like her mother. Youth and beauty were what the world wanted and for some reason, that thought seemed to trouble her all the more that night. As she climbed in the shower, relieved that Chris had saved hot water for her, she found herself feeling a little bit melancholy. She had never been bothered by her age. She had never been one of those women who sought to remain young forever. But, the idea that her youthfulness was fading and she was still unmarried felt like it hit her out of nowhere.

This really wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to stay single for the rest of my life. I was supposed to meet someone who would be good to Chris and love her like a daughter and get my happily ever after, too. This isn't what I signed up for.

As she washed her hair and finished her shower, she forced the negative thoughts from her mind. There were worse things than not looking like she was 21 anymore. She couldn't pinpoint any at that moment, but she knew that there were. She had always put her daughter first and had always known that might mean she was alone until later in her life. And, she was okay with that. Her daughter was worth that.

By the time she had finished her shower and gotten dressed, she had talked herself out of her funk. She knew better than to allow herself to get bogged down by things she couldn't change and things that she wouldn't change even if she had the chance. Slipping into her clothes, she debated on whether to put on makeup again or not. She knew that she'd have to wash it all off before bed, but the idea of being barefaced so early in the evening—especially at someone else's house—was a little more than she was comfortable with. Instead, she opted for more minimal coverage; a light foundation and powder, a little blush on her cheeks and eyelids, some mascara, and a lip stain that was only a half shade darker than her normal lip color. Her naturally wavy hair had dried pretty quickly with just a towel dry, so she ran a comb through it and added a bit of leave-in conditioner before calling it good.

She looked herself over in the mirror once more as she gathered her makeup things together and dropped them back into her bag. She felt strangely nervous and nauseous at the idea of spending the entire evening with Jason and his kids. The nausea, she decided, was from lack of food and the need to get something into her stomach. The nerves? That was something she had yet to understand. Nothing about Jasons' invitation had been anything more than friendly; a coach and a pastor doing what he felt the right thing was. She was grateful; especially for the shower.

"Mom!" Chris called from outside the bathroom door, "dinner is ready! Hurry up!"

Beth opened the door and flipped the light off. The smell of meat and mozzarella filled the air like a decadent Italian restaurant. She caught the aroma of onion and garlic and what smelled like fresh bread. Her stomach let out a growl that sounded more like the rumbling of a motorcycle than hunger. She didn't know what was in store for her that evening; whether she would make a complete fool of herself by reading too much (or too little) into Jason's invitation, but whatever was to come, she felt certain that she wasn't prepared for it.