My First Everything

Fake Bank Account

"did you even ever think of me as a friend" he asked, crying his tears out. 'gosh jiho, how stupid' 

"well yeah...you're right. I have no excuses" he shrugged and lowered his head. "but you....never thought of us as friends either....did you?"

"did you ever interact with us without calculating the benefits beforehand? if you're a friend, try to be more honest with yourself"

They left together leaving mira and me alone. Watching him left along with jiho by his side, the sight of sora smilling and waving at me flashes infront of my eyes. 'i hope this turn out good. I had a bad feeeling for this'

...............

"im home"

I walked lazily to the couch and slammed myself hard, throwing my bag and jacket uniform randomly. I wanted to stay, i wanted to help my friends but.....

flashback

"so that's what happened" i said when i finished telling him every detail "can i stay? it probably wont take long". He went silent for a second before answering. "nope, do me a favor and  stay out of trouble. You promised me that"

"b-but, he need as m-"

"kiyoko, listen to me. Its getting late, im expecting you to be home before 8"

"yeah sure, sorry for disturbing you"

"its fine"

"have a safe drive, i lov-"

He hang up.

I stared at the screen and placed the phone back to my pocket. Turning, i walked towards them with an akward grin. "err...im sorry guys but i cant stay"

"nevermind, i'll call a taxi for you"

Burrying my face into the couch, i kicked the air and toyed with my hair. 'this is frustrating'. Eventually i changed, ate dinner, did my homework, watched some dramas and went to bed.

..............

I didn't know what happened but jiho......stopped coming to school from that day on. It's sad. All he ever wanted was friends and he was too blind to see that we were his friend from the very start.

The more i thought about him, the more he reminded me to sora. And it put me in such pain to even think and remembered her.

The next week went on normaly like how it used to be. Nobody seemed affected by his missing at all accept for daniel. Everyone acted like they didn't even know who's jiho was.

I knew that things were pretty much settled now but why couldn't i......shoved this bad feeling away?

.................

"lets see, spinach, kimchi, flour and pink colouring left"

It was raining tonight when i walked along the roadside. Gun gonna came tonight after another long week without seeing him. I got pretty exited and decided to prepare a feast for him. Just a few more steps ahead, something fell off and slammed the floor hard. "god, what th-" i stuttered taking a step back. It all happened too fast that i got stucked there, mind still processing what had just happened.

My hands felt numb when i saw that familiar figure in front of me, familiar enough that my hands started to tremble on its own. The plastics on my hand let loose onto the road and i could hear the sound of eggs cracking up inside.

"no...no...no....NO!"

My legs got weak and turned into a jelly, i kneeled down next to him, daniel park. He was covered in blood. Tears swarming out of my eyes as i stared at the pool of blood around him. This....this was what i feared and scared the most. It happened again but not to me. Its.....daniel this time. It happened right infront of me.

Unable to move, i just stared and tried everything i could to stop the bleedibg but i was too scared to even touch him so i started yelling. People came running and calling the police and ambulance, they came in less than 5 minutes.

Medic came hovering around us in no time. I couldn't hear or see anything else anymore, my mind was blank. This brought too much memories all at once, my heart couldn't take this. I lift my face up when i heard someone calling me up.

"miss im sorry but are you related to him?"

"i.....im..his friend, does it count?"

She sent a pity look and asked me move politely. Still utterly speechless, i followed her command and went to the corner, watching him being taken away with an ambulance. Keep Out tapes were tapped arount the area and some polices were still investigating. All busy and yet i was stuck in my world.

With no enerygy, i pulled myself back up and dragged my feet way back home weakly. The rain was getting heavier and i was soaking wet. I didn't give a fuck about that right now, i just wanted to go home.

Eventually i reached my house in 10 minutes. Changing into my pyjamas, i sat straight on the couch, waiting for gun to came. I was still shocked, vulnerable and unstable due to the sudden accident. I felt usseless, i was there, i could have done something or maybe called for help earlier but instead i did nothing but cried. It must have been the trauma of experiencing it myself before. Right now all i needed was someone to hold me, i needed someone to lean on, someone to comfort me, i need gun.

Hurdling deeper into the soft couch, i wrapped my hands around myself, folded my legs and brought then up so i could rest my head on it. I waited and waited and waited for sooo long, i lost count of the time.

Light flashed from my phone meaning that there's an unread message. I glanced at it and read them sheepishly.

'dont wait for me, cant make it tonight'

My lips curled into a weak smile as i finsihed reading them, i threw the phone out of my sighed and burried my head deeper this time. Oh how simple, no apologized, no explanation that's just how he was right? I didn't realized why or when but a drop of tear rolled down my cheek onto the screen of my phone. I brushed it away but it just kept pouring out of my eyes. Tired of holding it back, i let it all out crying my lungs out with all my heart. My shoulder slumped and i stiffened.

"gun.....i..i..need you right now"

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