RELIVING

◖ 38 ◗

Anicia sighed softly. "Yes, she's your daughter."

"And you shoulda fuckin' told me," he responded. "No matter what happened, you shoulda told me by a letter or somethin'."

"No, you're right—I should have told you."

"Yea' you fuckin' should." Toby exhaled sharply, "But I can't keep holdin' no anger. Ian' gon' be no good. I had to sit in a calm space, hit the heavy bag, and just had to let da' shit go. She still young and we got plenty of time to catch up. She my babygirl—my only babygirl. She in my life now and it's all I'm worried bout."

Anicia inhale, exhaled in reassurance. "That's great, Obee. Seriously."

"She hea'. . . Lolo. She sleep on the couch."

She smiled through the line. "Good. You guys deserve to bond."

"What bout you? Y'all haven't talked?"

"No. I'm. . . giving her space." She picked at the hem of her T-shirt, "I don't want to pressure her into getting to know me. I want her. But, it's nothing I can do if she doesn't want me."

"For nineteen years of ha' life she been wit out you, wit out a mother completely, and it's somethin' new to ha'." he expressed, "She gon' have the anger and try to push you away but you the mother and if you wanna be in ha' life, do that. She want you too but she not gon' ask 'cause she ain't tryna be dismissed no mo'. You gotta handle up now. It's time fa' you to be a mother."

"Honestly. . ." Anicia sighed heavily, "I'm scared Obee. I. . I don't know where to start. I don't know what to do or how to approach her. I mean, you've met my mom."

"You ain't yo' moms, Anicia." He said, "You gotta stop sayin' that. Do the opposite of how she raised you. This notta newborn we talkin' bout. She nineteen, growin' into a woman. She's raised already. You comin' into ha' life as ha' mother baby. Get to kno' yo' daughter and stop thinkin' so much into it. Take it slow, but let ha' see you tryin' and give a fuck."

Anicia nodded as the male appeared at the doorway in his boxers and asked, "You comin' back?"

She averted her eyes to him and hoped Toby didn't hear him. She mouthed for him to give her a second and he nodded, returning to the bed. "I'm gonna do just that. Thank you."

"I interrupt yo' time witcha boy?" he asked hearing the male's voice.

"It's. . . nothing serious. Don't worry about it."

"I ain't." he smirked as the headlights pulling in the driveway caught his attention, "You answered da' phone for me laid up wit anotha' nigga. I still gotchu. So there ain't no worry baby. Continue whatchu doin' tho'. And figure out how to start yo' journey of bein' a mother yo' own way."

"Yeah, I—" he hung up, overhearing the car door shut before the door unlocked and it beeped open and closed. Footfalls approached and before they could pass by Toby called out. .