🧨TRIGGER WARNING 〜 Suicide🧨
L X Suicidal! Reader
(A/N: Hello! So this was heavily inspired by BTS' song 'Butterfly'. Butterfly is one of my favorite songs and I love the meaning of the song because I find it very beautiful and comforting, especially SUGA'S verse "You shine in this pitch darkness that is the butterfly effect." Anyway, please enjoy!)
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Numb. Darkness. Pain.
That was all you felt.
You were apart of the Task Force hoping to catch Kira.
You felt useless and numb. A couple of months ago, your family was kidnapped and killed. Your mother, father, older brother and sister, gone.
The criminals had already been punished by Kira, but you still felt numb.
Without noticing, you caught yourself crying. Light nudged your shoulder lightly.
You looked up and saw Task Force looking at you. Aizawa slid you a tissue. You thanked him and wiped your eyes.
" (Y/L/N), why don't you go and get some fresh air? Clear your head." Yagami - San smiled at you.
Nodding your head, you stood up and walked up the many flights of stairs to the roof top.
As you stood near the railing, you thought about all the pain you've been through over the past couple of months.
You looked down and rolled up your sleeve, revealing freshly wrapped bandages.
You had been inflicting self harm for 3 and a half months now.
You cringed and looked back up at the sky.
Clear. Free. Beautiful.
You looked and saw a pair of butterfly's flying freely in the clear blue sky.
A butterfly. Such a beautiful and free creature.
They were free to enjoy their lives. No sad or negative thoughts. No depressing feelings. And nothing to worry about.
As you stared at the pair of butterfly's, you caught yourself smiling.
' I wanna be free of pain.' You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before climbing over the railing of the roof top.
You let a tear slip down your cheek.
' Mom, dad, (B/N), (S/N), I'll be back with you soon.'
Right before you jumped you heard someone yell
" No! Wait stop!" They grabbed you and brought you back on the roof top.
You looked up and saw L with a frightened face.
You broke down crying right in front of the detective.
L looked you over to make sure you were okay.
" (Y/N). Please tell me why you were going to jump." L said and grabbed your shoulder so you were looking straight at him.
" I-I just can't take it anymore Ryuzaki! My whole family is dead and I couldn't have done a-anything to save them!" You yelled and cried.
L gave you a look of sympathy and rubbed your back in hopes of calming you down.
" I und-" he started but was soon interrupted.
" NO. Can everyone stop staying they understand my pain?! They don't! They don't get how much I hate myself for not being able to help them! They cared for me my entire life and I can't even save them?! What kind of a sister and daughter am I?! The answer is a horrible one!"
You were sobbing as L processed this. He pulled you into a hug.
" (Y/N), you aren't a horrible sister of daughter. They still love you and are looking after you from above." L kissed your forehead and wiped your tears.
" I love you (Y/N) (L/N), and I'll do anything to make sure you feel loved and happy again." He gave you his adorable smile and stroked your hair.
L saved you that day.
————————— One Year Later —————————
You stood on the roof top looking at all of the free butterfly's. 'I'm free now too.' You smiled and reached your hand towards one. It landed on your finger.
You giggled as the butterfly flew away. " (Y/N)! You ready to go back inside?" L asked.
" Yeah!" You ran and interlocked your hand with his.
A year ago today, L Lawliet, the love of your life, saved you.
- End
