You (Matty Healy)

// CHAPTER TWENTY SIX //

"Matty..." I whispered, choking back the tears. I outstretched my hand to him and brushed his arm with my fingertips before he suddenly jerked away. He looked up at me in shock, realising that he was not alone. His face was stained with dirty tear tracks and his hair was matted and limp. He was pale, as pale as death and his insistant rocking back and forth was enough to drive me insane.

"Aves." He croaked, his eyes widening. He lunged towards me and wrapped his arms around my neck, sobbing onto my shoulder. I had to stop myself crying too and be the strong one in the situation, so I silently snaked my arms around his back and pulled him into me as tight as possible. We sat like that for a while, until Matty's hysterical sobs became quieter and his body was no longer jerking violently with despair.

"What did you use?" I said quietly, stroking the hair at the back of his head. He was still lying against my chest as I sat upright, sniffling into my work shirt.

"What didn't I use?" Matty attempted to laugh, but I could feel a wetness spreading as yet another one of Matty's tears hit my shoulder.

"Baby." I sighed, pushing him back slightly so I could see his face. His face had a little bit more colour to it than previously, but he still looked like a ghost, like he didn't exist. But maybe that was the point though, he didn't want to. "It's important you tell me what you took, I want to help you."

"Why?" He sneered suddenly, making me jump slightly from his sudden change in attitude. "Why when you're just gonna fuck off and pretend I don't exist?" He got up and stumbled out of the door and into the bathroom. When I followed him sheepishly, he had his hands either side of the sink leaning against it and his head hanging low. I swallowed any argument I had against his hurtful statement, about how he was the one ignoring me and leading me on. I realised I had more important matters to deal with, like sorting out this broken boy infront of me covering up his broken pieces with his bad boy 'I don't give a fuck' atittude. I walked over to the bath and put the plug in, before running the hot water. I grabbed a towel from the cupboard and lay it over the side of the tub before testing the waters temperature with my fingers. Matty had not moved an inch as I'd finished running the bath, before I turned to walk out of the door.

"Have a bath," I paused with a small voice, "it'll make you feel better." As I began walking a timid hand grasped my wrist. I turned to look, seeing Matty's pleading eyes which had glazed over. The once chestnut brown I loved looking into were now gone, and were replaced with an almost black colour, no longer bright and shiny. I could no longer see into his passionate soul through those eyes, but instead into a dark abyss of emptiness.

"Please stay." He begged. I nodded, and I was sure I saw a flint of a spark ignite his eye at the words. Matty, my Matty, was in there somewhere, and he was trying to get out. I was sure of it.

He released my wrist before stripping down to his boxers and climbing into the tub, wincing slightly at the steamy temperature. I pulled the washing up basket to the side of the bath so I could sit on it, and as soon as I did Matty reached for my hand. With his fingers intertwined in mine I thought I would be ecstatic and my body full of electricity. However, my body was full of worry and pain as I watched Matty scratch his arm with his free hand, the arm with the bleeding bumps making their mark. He looked at me and opened his mouth to speak before closing it and frowning, pointing to a bucket next to the toilet. I quickly grabbed it and passed it too him just as sick began pouring out of his mouth. I looked away, squeezing his hand tightly with reassurance as he was expelling the after effects of his drug induced state. When he finished I took it from him and emptied it down the toilet, not once looking at the substance before flushing it away. I placed it at the foot of the bath again just in case, before holding my head in my hands.

After a few minutes silence he finally spoke.

"Heroin. And weed, obviously." He croaked, answering my question from before. His hair was wet with the steam and he was resting his head against the rim of the bath.

"Why though?" I sighed, taking his hand in mine again. I stroked my thumb across his hand, wishing that we were able to be this close in other circumstances.

"It- it's a long story Avery. Bad memories re-emerging, fucking feelings, I just can't deal."

"What bad memories? And what feelings? I can't help you if you don't tell me things." I whimpered, a silent tear rolling down my cheek. His hand was instantly up, wiping away the tear with his thumb. He cupped my face, looking deep into my eyes.

"I will tell you. I just can't do it right now, especially in this state." He said solemnly. I nodded in understanding. "I promise I will. Now, will you get in with me?"

"In the bath?!" I exclaimed, a shocked laugh rising. He smirked at my reaction.

"Yes in the bath." He smiled. I pondered the thought for a moment before standing up and kicking away my makeshift seat. I pulled off my skinnies and kicked them across the floor, before grabbing the hem of my shirt. I was petrified of this part, I hated my body and everything about it, but I especially hated my stomach. But I had a sudden urge of confidence and reassurance from a smiling Matty, so swallowing my apprehension I quickly lifted it above my head. I was standing only in a black lacey bra and mis-matching polka dot panties. Matty's eyes widened and his mouth dropped as I shifted uncomfortably on the spot.

"Fuck Aves..." he gulped, running his eyes over my body. It was at this moment a big smile spread across my face as I walked towards the bath and clambered in. Matty's arm wrapped around my body as he pulled me into him, and I leaned against the warmth of his chest as he held me closely.

As I relaxed happily against his chest I'd realised that this moment changed a lot for me. I'd realised that Matty was as broken as me, and that we were both slightly insane. I realised that Matty needed me just as much as I needed him. I realised that although I hated myself, Matty didn't. His two word response was enough of a boost to make me clamber into a bath with him, both of us bathing in our underwear. A couple of weeks ago the idea alone would have made me cry.

However, I also realised that Matty had a secret, a dark past. A dark past that was enough to turn him to the darker side of drugs, the side where even the devil would be afraid to step. I planned to help him, to be there every step of the way to make sure Matty never got into this state ever again. But in order to do that, I needed to know the source. Why he'd been acting strange with me the past couple of weeks, why he walked away straight after he kissed me. This secret was a big one, and I was going to make sure I'd uncover it.

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(A/N: not really happy with this chapter, it was slightly rushed so I may go back and make amendments. This chapter is dedicated to @Janessars, who never fails to comment and vote! Her comments make me laugh so much due to the fact she writes whatever she's thinking and I relate to each one completely every single time! Thanks so much!💖

Keeping voting and commenting guys, it helps a lot!x)