Good Girlz in the Hood : The Chronicles of Ciara

Chapter 76 - Why?

I had been working with Kwame for about six weeks at this point, but I hadn't told Kyle yet. I had just told him that I had found an agency job and I was working behind the scenes in the music industry. I knew if I told the truth he wouldn't be happy with it; he obviously knew of the rumours that had been spread by Jade and he seemed to believe them. When we got back together we had discussed the people we had been with while we weren't together, and I told him all we did was kiss but he still acted weird anytime his name was brought up. 

I returned home late on a Thursday evening, expecting the place to be empty. 

I locked the door behind me and threw my keys into my bedroom as I always did, then  turned the lights on. 

"Who dropped you home?" I suddenly heard his voice, coming from the kitchen. It was Kyle, leaning against one of the kitchen surfaces.

I grabbed my chest, waiting for my heartbeat to slow down.

"You fucking scared me, why are you hiding in the shadows like a criminal?" I said, entering the kitchen and washing my hands. 

"I asked you a question." He said, quietly

Kyle was not a person who got angry very easily, so I wasn't expecting this to turn into anything. 

"Firstly," I said, turning off the tap and facing him. "I gave you that key as a trust thing, not so you can just come and go as you please. I haven't seen you for days but you wanna pop up and ask stupid questions?" I kissed my teeth and walked into the living room to clear the table up and check my mail, which he had placed there. 

"Ciara, I ain't playing. You're being secretive, why?" He said, sitting on the chair next to mine. 

"It was my sidepiece, the person who dropped me home." I said, opening a letter from the hospital. 

It had been Taylor who dropped me home, so I didn't get why he felt all these questions were necessary. 

He didn't say anything, he just crossed his arms across his chest and sat there silently. 

I went into my bedroom and began changing out of my clothes into my pyjamas and he followed me in.

"Are you really not gonna answer me? I'm not playing, you turn up in some car with blacked out windows and you expect me to not be suspicious." 

"So do black windows mean that I'm doing something that I shouldn't be? It was a girl that dropped me, Taylor. One of the girls I work with." I said, sighing and sitting on the bed. 

"Don't you trust me?" I asked, trying to make him feel guilty. 

He shrugged and sat on the bed. 

We eventually fell asleep and I woke up the next morning, excited to take my driving test that day. 

As soon as I had found out I was pregnant, I had recommenced my driving lessons and my dad had promised that if I passed before I had the baby that he would buy me a car. 

***

I walked out of the test centre with a big smile on my face - I had passed and I was so happy. 

I called Kyle, trying to tell him the good news but he wasn't answering. I knew he wasn't at work so I made my way to his house, even if he wasn't in I could wait. 

I was just about to ring the doorbell when his little brother, Ashley walked out of the house, telling me Kyle was upstairs. I walked in and took off my shoes before going up the stairs.

"Kyle.... Guess what?!" I said, bursting through the door.

Before another word came out of my mouth, I froze. The smile slowly faded off of my face as my brain began to register what I was seeing.

Kyle was laying on his bed, butt naked... With a naked girl sat on top of him, riding him. 

"Oh my God." She said, and as she turned around, I realised I knew this girl...

It was Meisha...

I felt my heart being ripped out of my chest, and shatter into a million, trillion pieces. I slipped to the ground and cried for what felt like hours. 

"Ciara, what's wrong?" Rachel, Kyle's sister came up the stairs, but before I could speak, she saw Meisha rushing around the room, picking up her underwear and putting her dress back on. 

"What the hell?! kyle what is she doing in your room, why is she naked? Did you have sex with her?!" 

Kyle didn't respond, he just sat there quietly with his duvet covering his lower half. 

"You're disgusting, that's her best friend and she's fucking pregnant. What the fuck is wrong with you, ain't you got any self control?!" 

I felt like I was suffocating, like my brain was going to explode, like I was gonna throw up. 

I got up and walked away. I didn't know where I was going, I just needed to get away. 

I walked until I couldn't walk anymore and stopped, breathing heavily. 

I stood still, just for a moment. 

Why was this happening to me again? Why couldn't I just be happy, for once?

When I arrived home, he was there, all nonchalant, looking innocent. 

"Get out." I said, walking to the kitchen. 

"Ciara, let me explain." 

"GET THE FUCK OUT!!" I said, screaming louder than I ever knew I could. I pulled a knife out of the sink and walked towards him. 

"Get out or I will kill you. I have nothing to lose, so don't test me." 

"Ciara, please" 

I raised the knife to his throat, to show I wasn't joking. 

"Leave your keys on your way out." I said, lowering the knife. 

He took the keys out of his pocket and laid them on the table.

He walked towards the front door and before he left he turned to look at me and spoke. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Yeah, you always are." 

He walked out, quietly closing the door behind him. 

I walked into the kitchen and found a bottle of vodka in what had previously been the cupboard I would keep alcoholic drinks in. 

I twisted the cap off and inhaled the strong smell. It had been so long since I had had alcohol, and right now I wanted a drink so badly. I lifted the bottle and pressed it to my lips, gulping the harsh tasting liquid down. 

How could they do this to me?