The last paladin

T h i r t y t w o

"This would look so good on you artemis!" Megan held up a pair of sparkly earrings as everyone was shopping around the mall. They stayed as a group as lance was chatting with Conner since neither of them really wanted to be there. It distracted lance more than the actual shopping with how anxious he was going.

"Do you not need any clothes?" Lance asked with his arms hugging his body.

"This is a new shirt?" Conner raised a brow as he wore his usual black shirt and blue jeans as he seemed calm but annoyed at the same time.

"Are you mad at me?" Lance looked at him worried.

"What? Uh.. no..." Conner gulped looking away from him as lance looked down.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," he mumbled softly.

"You didn't yell at me," Conner scoffed a little.

"I don't know if we're friends but I hope we can still be friends..." Lance couldn't bring his head up as he tapped his foot a little.

"We are friends," Conner softened his expression immediately.

"I just don't trust those who hurt my friends," he offered and lance nodded.

"The galra," lance sighed nodding.

"I want to help you not be so scared and sad all the time... that's what friends do," Conner told him and lance laughed shaking his head.

"You know I think I use to be a lot like Wally and Robin, I use to be loud, open, flirty, a goof ball... I know a lot of people found me annoying but I didn't care," he smiled softly at the bigger boy.

"And your not like that anymore?" Conner asked frowning.

"No, it's a weird feeling I have but it's harder right now," lance blushed feeling conners eyes on him.

"Doesnt Keith always insult you? Does that make it harder?" Conner asked more concerned.

"Ha, no, it's helps more honestly, that's how it's always been with us, I can't do this without him," lance kept his eyes down as he didn't move.

"Would it have been like that if any of your teammates survived? If someone else would you be like this?" He asked bluntly and Lances breath got caught in his throat.

If

They would've survived if he was smarter, he should've had pidges helmet on her, he should've made allura move if he could've just yelled for her, he should've done something. If he did they could be alive. They're dead. If they survived... if.

"Are you okay?" Conner noticed Lances silence. Guilt set in his chest seeing lance was picking at his nails a little and his eyes were glossy with tears.

"Lance," Conner said again and immediately Megan, Keith and Artemis snapped their heads up to them like a sixth sense.

"I'm getting some air," lance said shakily moving past Conner to leave the store as keith was already going after him.

"What did you say?" Keith snarled storming past Conner.

Lance inhaled deeply and leaned against the wall covering his face and slid down to sit with his knees to his chest.

"Hey," Keith walked over to him as lance put his hands in his hair and grasped gently.

"Hey what was that?" Keith knelt down to him as lance shook his head.

"Did Conner say something?" Keith asked softly.

Lance shrugged.

"I don't like my brain," lance mumbled.

"Do you want to get something to eat? Get out of the store a little?" Keith asked and lance shook his head again.

"I just need a minute, go back inside, I'm fine," he sighed covering his face again.

"Lance," Keith pulled his hands back gently away from his face to make lance look at him.

"What's in your brain sharpshooter?" He asked softly and lance clenched his jaw inhaling deeply.

"Just having the thought of what I-I could've done... if I was faster, if I was smarter, we'd probably be done with the war, we'd have everyone still, if.. if they survived I wouldn't just be clinging to you like a lost puppy," lance held Keiths hands tightly without realizing it as keith didn't know how to pull away so he accepted it.

"I know, we all feel like we could've done more, we're always going to because we weren't even close be being prepared for that, but-" Keith was cut off when he saw Conner peaking over at them.

"Just stay here, take your time," Keith touched his hand gently again as he got up to go talk to the other boy.

"Is he okay?" Conner asked concerned.

"He's having an episode I think, I'm not diagnosing him but it kinda seems like survivors guilt, what did you say to him?" Keith sighed shaking his head as he pulled Conner away so lance couldn't see them.

"I just mentioned if your team survived if he'd-" Conner was cut off by Keith putting his hand up to stop him.

"New rule, don't fucking mention our team unless lance brings them up first, don't talk about a Paladin, don't bring up anything of the sort of our team unless he brings it up first," Keith gave him a dark look.

"He was talking about you first with how you insult him," Conner pouted a little.

"I mean the fucking dead team mates dumbass," Keith hissed as he turned to walked away.

Did it really upset lance when he insulted him? It was never to hurt him. He knew lance took it worst than him and shiro, they're still grieving for their lost but lance changed the most, Keith didn't blame him...

"So how about the food court-" Keith paused seeing lance was gone from where he was huddled.

"Lance?" He blinked confused and looked around with panic rising.

"Lance?" Keith spun back seeing Conner still there. No lance.