We All Bleed

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(Song- Pain - Of Mice & Men)

(MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: Self harm, attempted suicide)

Everything had been going so good.
Everything.
Alex was eating more. Not much, but more. His appetite was getting stronger and he was feeling in control by actually eating, rather than starving himself.
He was cutting less and less, it had only been three weeks and six sessions with Dr. Cook, but the singing was working. He'd gotten back into playing his guitar too.
The bad days were remarkably bad, though. 
That's when Alex lost all sight of himself, the goals he set, and why he set them in the first place.
That's when things got bloody. 
The food wasn't an issue anymore. 
The cutting was. While he cut less frequently, when he did, he cut deeper.

Three weeks was all it took before it all came crashing down.
The deepest was the worst.

(May 9th)

"God damn it guys." Rian groaned, sitting on the park bench with Alex and Jack. Jack was on the ground playing with Elise in the grass, while Alex was sitting next to Rian and taking pictures of Jack and Elise.
"What?" Alex asked, looking up. Jack looked up too.
"Aubree just broke up with me over a fucking text message. She didn't even give me a reason...I'm gonna try to go see her...I wanna figure out why. We were fine this morning...You two good?" He asked. He'd met them there in his own car, so it wasn't really a big deal for him to leave.
Alex nodded, "Yeah...Go figure out. I'm sorry." He frowned a little. Today and yesterday had been good days. He was making progress while simultaneously getting worse, because while he cut less and less, when he did, the cuts were more detrimental.
Jack and Alex finished their time out with Elise, getting dinner and then going home once it got dark out. 
Jack took care of Elise's bedtime routine with Alex watching, a smile on his face. He loved how Jack had been getting more into taking care of Elise. It was cute and hot if he was being honest. He was a big, big fan of paternal Jack. Grateful too, considering Jack was only just about to turn 17. 
Alex couldn't say that he knew a ton of people, apart from Rian and possibly Zack who would do what Jack is doing.

(May 16th)

Rian didn't come over much the entire week. Honestly, he had hardly talked to Alex or Jack. He'd been caught up trying to fix things with Aubree, and letting himself sink more and more into depression each time she refused to talk to him. He still hadn't gotten a real reason why she left him, which naturally made Rian think the worst.
First, she tried to say that he spent too much time with his friends, but he knew that couldn't be it, because unless it was an emergency, he was with her. He'd leave Alex and Jack, or Zack or whoever he was hanging out with to go hang out with her. 
Even when he wasn't trying to talk to Aubree and get her back, he was sulking at home. He'd told Jack that right now, he was in no place to be around Alex. He feared that his bad mood might just bring Alex down too, and that wasn't something he was willing to risk. Despite everything happening to him, he loved his best friend too much to do anything that would possibly harm him and what progress he was making with himself.

(May 17th)

Jack looked up from where he sat on Alex's bed watching Home Alone when his phone rang. He paused the movie.
"Hello?"
He put his phone on speaker. Alex looked over curiously.
Today was a bad day. 
Alex had a panic attack.
Nothing had really triggered it, nothing outright at least. Still, he hid away in the bathroom. Jack didn't need to ask what he was doing, and Alex confirmed Jack's thoughts when he came out with tears running down his cheeks, blood on the hem of his shirt and sobbing "I'm sorry" repeatedly. That's just the short version.
"Jack?" Joyce, Jack's mom asked. 
"Hey mom." Jack responded calmly, glancing at Alex who was nervously playing with the hem of said shirt, looking at the blood on it. He looked calm, yet tense.
"Your sister just called, she's going through some things right now and we need to get up to New York to help her. I can't leave you here Jack, and I know how much you want to stay with Alex and your friends, and normally I'd let you, but we need to go help your sister. She's going to need you. You two are close." Joyce sounded sad and worried. She already knew this wouldn't go over well with Alex. She'd only met him a handful of times, but she knew what went on with him, hence why her son was allowed to be there whenever he wanted or needed to be.
"Mom..." He looked over at Alex, who was starting to tremble. Alex did NOT need this on a bad day like today.
"I know Jack, I can't have you argue with me right now...I'm sorry but you don't have a choice here. I need you to get home. We need to pack up and leave tomorrow. I don't know how long we're going to be gone yet. She really needs our help. Your dad is already on the road there. I won't go into much detail right now. I need you to get home." She kept her voice calm as she heard the sounds of Alex breaking down into hard sobs.
Jack put his arms around Alex, "Mom I can't. I love May, I do, but please...I can't go...What about school?" He sighed, rubbing Alex's back as Alex gripped on tightly to his shirt with both hands. 
Jack couldn't leave. No. Didn't know how long? Not acceptable.
"I already have it sorted out Jack. I need you to get home tonight...Tell Alex I'm sorry, but he has Rian and Zack to help him." She sounded really sad now.
"He doesn't mom! Rian is on his own depression train and Zack just...Zack doesn't even know where to begin! The most he could do is take care of the baby. I can't leave mom. I can't. I'm sorry. I can't." Jack was begging now, holding onto Alex who was going into full blown panic attack number two.
"Jack it's not an option. Get home or I'm coming to get you." She didn't want to sound so serious but at the same time, she had to. If this was between Alex and her daughter, she'd choose her daughter in a second.
"What time are you forcing me to leave tomorrow? Because I'm not leaving here tonight. I'm going to stay here tonight with him. There's not an option with that one." He sounded like he was about to cry, but he held it together.
"Fine. I need you home by 8 at the latest. We're leaving by 10 at the latest. Tell Alex I'm sorry." She hung up.

Jack rubbed Alex's back, "Hey..It's okay...I'm sure I won't be gone long, and I'll facetime you all day long if that's what you need, okay?" He held Alex close.
Alex sobbed into Jack's shirt and shook his head, "No...no no no no no no no..." He whispered over and over, his body trembling. Today was a bad fucking day.
He didn't sleep at all, and neither did Jack.
This was not good.
Jack texted both Zack and Rian.

Jack: I have to leave.

Rian: What????

Zack: The fuck do you mean you have to leave???

Jack: My sister apparently needs us. My mom is forcing me to go to New York with her to help my sister and I don't even know what's wrong with her. Alex is fucking panicking. This shit isn't good.

Rian: Okay...Okay...We'll help...When are you leaving?

Jack: 10 AM latest. I have to be home by 8...

Rian: Shit.

Zack: I'll come. I'll be there by 7:30.

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