Innocent Rose

1. Out With The Old, In With The New

For the past year, I've gone through the same old routine. Wake up, shower, get dressed, eat, go to school/work, then come home and sleep.

It's come to a point where I feel like I'm a robot or in some sort of time loop.

I should've expected it, considering I'm a college student and all. But I never expected to have to move out of the city of the college I'm going to because my mother didn't approve of me taking a year off and then decided on going to community college.

I've been living with my dad, my step mom and my younger half siblings because of it. I wake up at 7 am, get ready and catch the am bus at 9:30, and after a few hours of riding the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority (MBTA), I make it on time for my shift at work.

Can I just add that being an Amazon Prime Whole Foods Shopper is kind of amazing?

You make your own scheduling, you don't have to interact with anyone, and you can listen to music. You're basically doing someone else's grocery shopping, you're not customer service.

I sometimes miss my old job. But cashier and customer service work doesn't always stay for too long, especially with the minimum wage being $13 per hour while Amazon was $15. I had to take the chance. Plus, Savers had shitty management, no wonder so much of my old crew left.

And don't even get me started on Godiva. It was something else and I was only there for a few months. (Hint hint, don't even bother with their strawberries. Trust me).

It was only September 10th and I was already freezing my ass off when I woke up, the usual routine for Massachusetts (The moment it hits the middle of September, the weather indicates winter in the morning, summer/spring in the afternoon, and when it hits 4pm, it's fall and then winter at 6pm so please dress accordingly).

I use to sleep with an air conditioner on full blast every night and wake up freezing cold even in winter, but it never felt deadly cold compared to my dads. Everyone sleeps with a fan on and wake up with shivering teeth but they didn't care if their room happened to be colder than the outside.

I stood in the bathroom mirror, staring at myself.

Tan skin with milia all over my face (even on my eyelids), dark circles under my eyes, minimal blackheads on my nose but it wasn't too bad. My curls were still drying after the shower I took, but it's mostly the gel I applied that kept it looking wet. The red was way too overgrown to even be considered an ombré at this moment and the red faded to a blonde rust color. It was awkward and ugly, but it helped with keeping me out of the spotlight.

I tightly squeezed my cheeks, making my lips squish together and pucker out, then let go and squinted my eyes tightly as my head jolted harshly to the side and my shoulders moving up.

I sighed, rubbing my dry hands before walking out of the bathroom and into the living room, looking through my book bag to see if I had everything.

"AJ."

I turned my head to face my dad in the dining room. He was currently rolling marijuana into cigar paper as he watched a video on his phone.

He was usually up at around the same time I leave for work (and now school) due to his anxiety. It was like a timer for him. He would always be up at 5-5:45 am, anxious, unable to concentrate and jittery that he would sit on the toilet for half an hour before finally relaxing and going downstairs to watch Netflix on his phone. I saw he was already dressed, most likely because he would go off to do door dash early in the morning. "What time you start classes?"

"8."

"You need a ride? I'm going off to do door dash after I smoke."

"It's fine. I was actually about to leave since the bus comes soon anyways. I need to figure out the proper route and the timing for when I get there just incase I'm not able to get a ride."