Across the Bridge

Across the Bridge - Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Sundays had been just me, being lazy or finishing my homework, for many, many months. Mom was usually working or day drinking with LouAnne. I never worked on Sundays.

   Now, I woke up and wandered to the kitchen to find mom and Asa, already eating pancakes and drinking coffee. I hadn't really thought about it when I'd gone to sleep, how different the next day would be. But maybe I'd gotten too used to being alone. Or maybe I'd convinced myself mom would go back to a sad woman who didn't care about her kids.

   Asa was so different, too. He looked so grown up, not at all like the kid who had gotten into so much trouble. He didn't even look like the scared boy that I visited in juvie. His brown hair was wavy and his eyes were dark, like mom's, but he looked at me like he was so happy to see me.

   "Morning, Penny," mom said quickly. "Sit with us? There's pancakes and -"

   I could not remember the last time she and I ate a meal together. "You made breakfast?" I asked, shocked.

   She forced a smile, though she was probably annoyed with me. "Yes, so we can eat together and celebrate Asa being home. Our fresh start."

   Asa raised his eyebrows at me, so I plopped down into the chair beside him. I reached for a plate and added two pancakes, then drowned them in syrup.

   "How'd you sleep?" I asked my brother, pouring a coffee.

   "So good. A real bed, oh, it was great," he answered, licking his fork.

   I hadn't thought too much about Asa's life in that detention centre. I hated thinking about him there, how he was treated, even what he was doing. 

   "Penny, will you hang out with Asa today? I have to leave for work soon, and -" Mom seemed nervous, suddenly.

   "Yeah, of course," I answered quickly.

   But an hour later when I sat on our old, worn sofa next to my brother, it was painfully obvious things were very different now. Before he went away, Asa and I didn't get along. Mostly because he was always in trouble and I didn't understand why he was doing the things he was doing. When I visited him there, it was short visits, just barely getting a conversation in. Basically, I was just making sure he was okay. Now, we had to figure out how to be siblings again, under the same roof.

   "I don't need you to babysit me, you know," he told me almost as soon as I sat down.

   "I know," I said, shrugging. "It's not like I have much to do today."

   "You didn't become Miss Popular yet?" he asked, then grinned.

   I thought of Winston, right away. And then Lex, Lydia and Matt. I had friends now. I had a real life, that I'd never had before. But Asa was my brother. He was family. He had to come first.

   Shrugging, I told him, "Not yet."

   He let out a laugh. "What about Alex?"

   "He has a girlfriend, again. She's actually cool, but... he has less time for me."

   "That's lame. So, why don't you have a boyfriend?" Asa asked, then added, "You like guys, right?"

   "Yes. Uh, I mean, I guess I have this guy... friend."

   "You mean boyfriend?"

   "He's not... we're not..." I didn't know how to explain it.

   "You're confusing.  I'm so excited to get to school and see some girls," he laughed.

   Right. I'd forgotten it was an all boys detention center. He had never really had a chance to be a normal teenage boy, either.  He was really starting fresh. 

   "You're not nervous?" I wanted to know. "Going back to East?"

   Asa just shrugged. "I'm not the same guy I was last year. They'll see."

   I didn't babysit him, but I stayed in the house all day, checking in periodically. I did homework and made us lunch, and he watched a movie, while I sat nearby, texting Winston on my phone. 

   ITS WEIRD, BUT IM SO GLAD MY BROTHER IS BACK.

   NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE THERE WITH YOU? he asked.

   YEAH, TOTALLY.

   I THINK IM GOING TO MOVE IN WITH MY DAD. HE GOT AN APARTMENT IN MANHATTAN, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS TALKING ABOUT MOVING TO JERSEY.

   OH, WOW. WHEN? I asked him back.

   MAYBE NEXT MONTH. MY MOMS NOT HAPPY ABOUT ANYTHING I DO.

   OH, WELL, HOPEFULLY THE MOVE GOES WELL, I texted.

   HEY... I MISS YOU. I KNOW THAT'S SO LAME BECAUSE YESTERDAY I WOKE UP IN YOUR BED...

   I couldn't help by smile as I typed back to him. THAT IS LAME. BUT IM OKAY WITH LAME.

   YEAH? THAT'S GOOD.

   YOU COULD COME OVER. IM STUCK HERE WITH ASA, I suggested.

   REALLY?

   YEAH, IF YOU WANT TO.

   OKAY, YEAH. I'LL BE THERE SOON.

   I told Asa not to act weird, and not to say anything about my relationship with Winston. Asa acted hurt, like I didn't trust him to be cool. The truth was, Asa was a bit unpredictable. He had been a loose cannon, for a long time. I actually wasn't sure I could trust him.  I didn't tell him that Winston was from a rich family or that he went to a fancy private school. I just hoped it wouldn't come up in conversation. Asa would likely say something rude about that. Even my little brother knew that someone like that shouldn't date someone like me.  

   When Winston knocked on the door, I shot up off the sofa and Asa let out a loud laugh. The walk to the front door took forever and when I opened it, I was surprised to see him in a t-shirt and jean shorts, holding out a coffee for me. It was almost November. It was cold outside. He didn't even have a jacket on.

   "Thanks," I said, taking the coffee.

   I stood back so he could come inside, then shut the door with loud click. Winston was quiet; his expression unreadable, as he followed me through the house, back to where my brother was sitting.

   "Asa... this is Winston," I said slowly, watching as my brother looked at him.

   "Hey... sorry about your name," Asa said without hesitating.

   I shot him a look, but Winston laughed. "Oh, well, it's not your fault."

   I could tell Asa was surprised that I'd brought a boy to our house. I was surprised, myself, really.

   "Asa, seriously?" I said to my brother, rolling my eyes.

   "Nice to meet you, Asa," Winston went on, stepping forward to hold out his hand.

   Asa shook it, then nodded, but was quiet. He looked at me, still cautious. I sat back down, so Winston sat beside me on the loveseat. Asa unpaused the movie.

   When I glanced at Winston, he looked relaxed, his eyes on the TV. We were so close that I could see his long eye lashes and that he had some facial hair growing in. I realized then that I'd only ever seen him cleanly shaven.

   I looked back at the TV, then to Asa. He was focused on the movie. I had no interested in it, really, now. I was distracted. Winston smelled good, like soap and cologne. He moved slightly, his leg brushing mine for a moment.

   "I don't need a babysitter," Asa said suddenly, looking over at us.

   I jumped, then moved a bit away from Winston, as if we were caught doing something we weren't supposed to do.

   "Uh-" I began.

   "I mean, you two don't need to sit there... you can go somewhere else," Asa went on.

   "Oh, yeah... we're not..." I said slowly, then looked at Winston. He shrugged, then smiled. "Fine. We will be in my room."