Saving Draco

chapter sixty-one

Draco. 2 hours after The Battle of Hogwarts.

      The happiest memory I had to conjure a Patronus was of Tiny.

My little ferret.

      It was of the morning after I had promised a life with her, because everything else had already happened then. She had let me confide in her when I needed someone, she ran away with me and received the dark mark, and she accepted my proposal even though she couldn't say it back. I didn't understand why or what went through her tiny head to make her choose me but she did.

      That morning, I had already woken up earlier than her like I usually did. I would admire her light tan skin that was covered with marks and scars, admiring how strong she was everyday. Her long raven hair that smelled like green apples ran down to her waist and I would run my fingers through them as she slept, tucking them behind her small ears as I wondered how something could be so soft.

      Tiny usually snored lightly and moved around in her sleep, earning chuckles and smiles from me as I watched her intently. I watched as her chest would rise and fall steadily, grateful that she was breathing and alive.

I wish she was that way right now, even though her quiet snores would keep me awake at night sometimes, making it hard for me to sleep since I always found them adorable — I admired them, her.

I would brush my fingers against her small plump lips and cup her face that was always so warm and blushed, caressing them with my thumbs as I thought how lucky I was to be able to kiss her everyday.

      Then, my favorite part of the mornings would come. The sun would peek through the diamond paned windows just in time as her eyes would open, revealing a dark brown that sparkled brightly, as if they were the crowded night sky, turning gold at the light.

As if the sun itself had lived in them.

      It didn't matter how many times I had experienced seeing them, I would be stunned everytime.

      Ever since that morning, I would've given her everything life had to offer. I wanted to travel with her and show her the world, introduce her to every form of art, music, and culture — just like how she always wanted, the only thing she ever wanted after trying to survive everyday, all just to not live, all just to get hurt everyday — both mentally and physically. That was only her dream, and she did not see it, she did not make it.

And it hurts in the only place it counts.

I would've given her life's precious jewels even if it had meant I had to travel to the moon, the stars, and the sun for them.

      If Tiny asked me for a simple life in a small cottage, somewhere far and hidden, I would have given everything up just to have that with her. So as my whole body trembled relentlessly while cradling her lifeless body back in the war, I had felt like my will to live had been stolen.

      I never thought I would care so deeply for someone that the sight of gold, the sight of the crowded night sky, and the scent of green apples had pained me.

I love her so much that it pains me, it hurts too much...

      I wanted to feel numb, I wanted to be numb as she did when she first received the mark. But I was never as strong as she was, I could never have the ability to have experienced so much pain in one lifetime that one had learned to shut them off.

      So I felt as every part of me had given in, and I sobbed until my body could no longer produce any more tears. My bed was fading of her scent and I knew I would never see the same gold that used to lay on it everyday.