Sins Of The Mother (TRLS)

Chapter 25

    He wants me to be afraid of him, afraid of what would happen if I betrayed him. He wanted to tear me down so I would live in sadness. Did he only wake me up to torture me? After running from that evil room I locked myself in the bedroom I woke up in with my children. My body was overcome with sobs. I feel so lost and alone. Everything has been taken from me once again. I've been robbed of so much happiness and the main culprit is Tom Riddle. This whole mess has costed me so much and caused so much misery. As I look into my children's eyes I am reminded of why I'm still alive. I recall a time a few years ago now when I had lost touch with why I am here. I almost took myself from them because of selfishness. As I thought of this event I reached a blank at what stopped me from jumping that night. Why am I still here if nothing stopped me? It's like there was a wall in my mind I couldn't break down. I began to realize a lot of my memories from my time alone seemed incomplete somehow. It's like something's missing, but I can't remember what. So many things seem so confusing to me now. Almost as if those memories had been tampered with. I need answers. I thought back to my house and what happened after my disappearance. What happened to all of my belongings, what happened to all my memories? I need to go back to the last place I was before I was spelled to sleep for three years. I need to go home.

I watched the rain pour outside as I sat on the bed with my children asleep beside me. No one came to see me for hours and for that I was grateful. The image of Milly's lifeless body was ingrained in my head. I blamed her death on myself. As if somehow I could've prevented it I felt as if my hands were covered in her blood. At one time I had believed that I could change Tom Riddle, and now I know how wrong I was to believe I could change someone so evil. I had believed my curse counteracted his, but somehow it didn't. Or maybe it did and you just can't replace pure evil with love. Even the most evil people have the ability to love and they choose not to use it, and I need to accept that very sobering fact. Something didn't sit well with me seeing Gertrude here so involved with Tom's antics. The way she looked at Milly's body as if she was a disgrace sent a shiver up my spine. Was she so entangled in Tom's game that she abandoned all other emotions?

    Somehow the night turned into morning and I had yet to get any sleep. I was still in last nights dress when a house elf, most likely a gift from Malfoy knocked upon the door. "Master has requested Mrs.Riddle and the children join him for breakfast," he said hesitantly. I rubbed my face with my hands and groaned. I would like nothing more than to avoid that man forever, but I know I can't. I've seen what he does to people who displease him, he made sure of that last night. "Okay," I said in annoyance before getting up. "Oh and don't call me Mrs.Riddle," I told the house elf looking down at my bare ring finger."I haven't been that person for a long time."

     Again I looked through all the beautiful dresses in the closet and chose a light flowy baby blue dress. I miss my old things, everything I worked so hard for. I miss my career even if it was on the verge of destruction. I wonder what people believed when I disappeared without a trace. I wonder if people listen to my music and bask in the mystery of my disappearance. I wonder if they still remember me. I sat on the bed beside my sleeping twins lost in my thoughts. I want to let them continue to sleep peacefully, but I know we've received orders. Softly I shook them awake. My Scarlett had always been grumpy when she woke up, tickling her always did the trick to take away the tears and upset grumbles. Her laughter echoed throughout the room like beautiful music. Raven had energy as soon as he woke up, that hasn't changed. He was always ready to party at 6am. "It's time to get up my loves," I said, helping them out of bed. "Where are we going mummy?" Raven asked as he rubbed the sleep out of his precious eyes. We're going to get ready for breakfast with your father," I said to them. Scarlett was still half asleep so I picked her up while Raven led me to their bedroom skipping down the halls. Their bedroom was like their playroom, dull and lifeless. They didn't have many clothes but some of them happened to be suitable surprisingly. Probably to keep up appearances. I sang to them as I helped each of them get dressed, a tradition I have carried on from their birth. I must make a note to buy them more clothes, I thought as I fastened the tattered buttons on Ravens shirt. "Okay baby Huey you're good to go," I said to Raven before starting to brush Scarlett's hair."Owie!" she cried as I brushed through her curls. "Goodness does anyone brush your hair?" I asked as I looked at her tangled mess of hair. "Miss Parkinson gave up because Scar cries too much," Raven said. "She just let your hair be tangled?" I asked angrily. "Miss Parkin-" I interrupted Raven. "Don't call her that," I said hating how formal it was, that wench doesn't deserve any respect. "What do I call her?" He asked. I thought for just a moment as I wrestled with Scarlett's hair. "Ugly," I joked simply following it up with a laugh. I've always known that girl was trouble. "The woman's name is Gertrude," I said. "I don't like her," Scarlett said. "I hear ya girl," I laughed. "In school they used to call her Grouchy Gerty," I said. "Owie mummy!" Scarlett exclaimed. "I know sweetie I'm also done. Curse your fathers hair, if his were longer it'd look like yours," I said. He had always sported a head of thick unruly hair.

   The children skipped down the stairs making their way to the dinning room I assume. I was finally able to get Scarlett's hair untangled. It made me angry to know her hair was just left to be tangled in a rat's nest. It pains me to see how neglected my children were. Now that I'm back I'm going to do everything in my power to make them feel loved, everything I can do to avoid having a carbon copy of Tom Marvolo Riddle.

———————————-
Another update for my wonderful readers. I hope you're enjoying the story it's about to get wild.