Sins Of The Mother (TRLS)

Chapter 14

     From that day forward I began to make my peace with magic. I vowed never to use it for evil ever again. that was a month ago and today was my twins 2nd birthday. My life has been so difficult lately I decided an evening out with the children would be nice. I wasn't thinking straight when I flung myself from the balcony almost making my beautiful children orphans. I was selfish and inconsiderate, and high on pain meds. I never stopped and realized that my main reason for living is them. I was a heartless fool. I'll never even think of doing that to them again.

   As I look down at my two year old twins a twinge of pain struck me as I saw their resemblances to their father. Maybe that's why I wasn't paying as much attention to them as I should've. I was selfishly trying to numb my pain instead of facing it for the sake of my twins. My little Raven with deep chocolate waves of hair, and obsidian eyes like his father's was the most handsome little boy I've ever seen. The way he giggled at everything was enough to warm my heart even in the coldest weather. He was a big jokester unlike his dad. My Raven is going to break hearts one day.

     He had my delicate features but his fathers dark and prominent characteristics. He's my beautiful little boy. As for my Scarlett she is the most adorable little girl I've ever laid my eyes on. Her head of chocolate curls was so hard to tame but they are so cute. Her eyes are a lighter color than her brothers they were more Hazel nearly green. She's my little cry baby. My Scarlett can be a little bratty like her mummy but who doesn't like a little sass?

My children are my pride and joy, the most important things in my universe. I don't know where I would be right now if I hadn't heard them crying that night and was shocked back to reality. They're my everything.

    I decided to invite Jimmy along for our little outing today. Jimmy held Scarlett in his arms while Hermelda and I packed a picnic basket. My twins love to play outside. Scarlett has this facination with flowers that I find so funny. One time she plucked every rose off my rose bush out front. I didn't think it was very funny at that time. Raven has a habit of getting dirty, and mud is probably his favorite snack. My kids prefer cookies as a dinner, and love to throw things unfortunately, especially Raven. They are close of course, but they tend to have their little altercations. If Raven has a toy then Scarlett wants that toy, or if Scarlett gets a cookie Raven wants the cookie she has. He won't accept any cookies except for the one she was given. Sibling rivalry, I guess I'll never understand it. I never got to meet my brother, and I never will.

I laughed as Scarlett tried to take a step forward but fell on her bum. I've been trying to get the twins to walk but I guess they're not ready yet. Raven is more steady on his feet but he hasn't taken his first steps yet. I guess they're late bloomers. I don't have a problem with it, I want them to stay babies for as long as they can. Children really do grow up so fast. I sighed as I watched my beautiful children laugh and play. To know their father is missing out on these precious moments saddens me.

  "Penny for your thoughts?" Jimmy asked from beside me. "How American of you," I snickered. "It's a polite way to ask what you're thinking," he shrugged. I looked from my twins and then to Jimmy before shaking my head. "I guess I wonder how someone could be okay with missing out on this. These moments are special. One day they'll be grown up and all I'll have are my memories to prove they were once so small and so innocent," I said as I watched them with a sad smile. "You know you never told me about their father," he said hesitantly. I swallowed hard and looked down at the grass. "There's not much to tell," I shrugged. "I met him in school, the only good thing he ever did was give me them," I said with a sigh. "Then he left, end of story," I said, looking down at my glass of apple cider. "Well he's a fool," Jimmy said. "You don't even know the half of it," I said truthfully. "A man is a coward to leave his family to fend for themselves," he continued. "Ha you're telling me," I said. "If it wasn't for the Leto's I'd still be cleaning toilets," I shook my head to clear my mind of the bad memories. "As for the Berming production company, I could've done without them," I said referring to the awful producers we deal with. "They're not so bad," he laughed. "Really? So you take kindly to being threatened to loose your career if you don't marry someone?" I said shaking my head at the ridiculous idea. "Well yeah ya know I mean I was thinking maybe it uh...maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea ya know like the two of us," he said gesturing between us. "Me and....you," he finished awkwardly. I laughed at his craziness. "You're joking right? Oh you must be joking," he seemed so nervous as he nodded his head. "Oh yeah I was obviously just joking." He said rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "I mean you couldn't possibly be serious right now. I mean we're just friends and-" he interrupted me. "And what? Roslyn I like you, a lot and I guess I don't see the problem in two people who get along extraordinarily well......being together." I can't believe what I'm hearing from him. "I can't believe you're saying this to me right now," I said getting up from the blanket on the ground. "Just think about it Roslyn just for a second okay? Equal assets, career opportunities; your children will be safe, happy, and will never want for anything. I'll care for them as my own please Roslyn let me make an honest woman out of you," he said getting up as well. His words infuriated me. "An honest women? I was married when I had them! Hell I still am Jimmy, and I don't need to be married for my children to be well off," I said angrily. "I didn't mean it in a bad way Roslyn you know that. I'll take care of you three honestly I will. We'll be unstoppable! The two of us together....what do you say?" He asked hopefully. "You must be out of your mind," I said as I packed up my stuff quickly getting ready to leave. "Is it really that bad of an idea Roslyn?" He asked. "I don't marry people just because a contract tells me I have to. Marriage isn't a business deal." Although my first one was, I'd be a fool to have a second one based on anything but love. "It doesn't have to be that way," he said as I got the children up to go. "You and I both know what it is," I said walking away. "Roslyn I'm sorry!" I heard him call from behind.

   He was probably using me the whole time making me think he was such a great person so I'd agree to marry him. I'm taking this birthday party elsewhere.

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Believe me I miss him as much as you do 😭 I kinda get this feeling he is very close. 🤔