Reason to Live

🔵 Chapter 10 🔵

[Halilintar's POV]

Last night, I truly couldn't sleep at all. I feel like I stayed up all night, trying to accept the fact that everything in my life would always remain the same. The fight between my parents, every gossips and backstabs my schoolmates been whispering behind me, and the choice to just, end my journey already... right here, right now.

It's hard to just... let it go, especially when you're experiencing that same, annoying, and tiring situation everyday. It's like, you're the one who has been chosen to suffer in all your life. It's like, you're just a person who's worthless, and insignificant to everyone's eyes.

That's what everyone thinks of me. A nobody. A negligible, piece of junk. If there's anything I want to say out loud, then hear me say this.

I'm sorry, if I'm different. I'm sorry, if I look like someone you couldn't trust. I'm sorry, if I look scary. I'm sorry, if I act too harsh and ruthless. I'm sorry for not being a perfect person you wanted me to be. I'm sorry, if I was ever born in this world. I'm sorry, for being that someone who'll give you nightmares. I'm sorry, for existing.

What else do you want me to apologise for? Was everything I said not enough for your satisfaction? Do you think I didn't mean every single thing I said?

Sometimes, you'll find me weird enough, talking to myself like that. I'm used to it, so just get over it. Who does not speak to his or her own self anyway?

I'm currently here in the boy's restroom, washing my face to keep me from dozing off while attending my classes. After I'm done, my head then slowly looked up to the mirror infront of me, making my rubescent eyes throw daggers at that person whom I've been staring to: Myself.

I wished for that figure to disappear in this world. I don't want that person to live. I hoped for that person to end his life.

"You're weak! You're nothing! You're impotent! You hear me?! Just die! It's not like you're important in this world anyway!"

"But, you're important to me."

My eyes suddenly shot wide open, hearing that familiar voice from inside my head. That airhead... Did he... Did I just... Was he...

I looked back once again at the mirror, and what I saw made my eyes opened wider. I saw the airhead's reflection from the mirror, with his eyes genuinely smiling at me. I immediately turned my head to glance behind me, but he wasn't even there.

Nobody was.

Am I seeing things right now? Am I hallucinating? Why did I suddenly caught a glimpse of him in my head? Does he even exist? Don't tell me I'm actually talking to a ghost all along!

Honestly, that just gave me the chills...

Shaking my head, I exited the restroom, returning back to my classroom afterwards. When I reached the hallway, I paused when I saw the airhead again (and yes, he's real. A real human being, not the ghostly figured one), and immediately hid behind a wall because of the thought of him, going all wild again when he's with me. But, he wasn't alone... and I've witnessed something with my own eyes, and that scene totally shocked me.

"HAHAHAHAHA! LOOK! IT'S 'GRANDPA' AGAIN!"

"Do you need a hand, grandpa? HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Two of my schoolmates, bullying the airhead, while the latter just stood there, with shadows covering his eyes. He was only looking down, trying to resist our schoolmates' brazen teases. Not for long, he started walking away, leaving the sneering bullies behind as he faced onto my direction.