Hidden In The Dark (IN EDITING)

Out Of Breath

The warm drip of blood...

The blurriness in my eyes...

The pulsating feeling in my head...

The numbness in my muscles...

The loss of consciousness...

It all replayed in my head, over and over and over again. I don't have the strength to move my limbs or talk or even open my eyes, I just sit there, the memory on repeat.

I feel restless and trapped here, in the silent darkness. The same one most people want, but it's not as it seems, it makes me miss the brightness and feeling and the annoying sounds of life.

I can't even think right, my brain has clearly wondered out on its own while I'm stuck here, unable to do anything.

"Leaigh?" A far off voice calls out to me, but I can't think straight enough to figure out who it belongs to.

"Yes?" I think, hoping whoever can hear me and know that I can't speak.

"Wake up."

My eyes shoot open and my lungs expand as I breathe. My limbs become mobile but are still weak, my throat feels like I haven't drank anything in days. I slowly look around and see empty walls, the smell of cleaner and sickness fills my nose.

I'm in the hospital.

No one sits in one of the uncomfortable chairs that are provided, asleep.  No one has dried runny mascara that dripped down their cheek from crying, a worry crease evident between their eyebrows. No one.

I'm in the hospital....alone.

I swing my legs off of the bed and sit up, slowly, but the increase in motion makes my head throb until my eyes squeeze shut. I slowly get up, standing still for a moment to make sure I won't fall and walk my way over to the bathroom sink.

My reflection is one I haven't seen before, the left side of my hair line is removed and has a bandage covering it. My cheekbones are sunken in and my face is sickly pale, so pale my normal undertones have been replace with blue.

My beautiful clothes have been replaced by a janky hospital gown that's 2 sizes too big and ties behind my neck. My hand reaches up and gently runs over the bandage where my hair use to be, I don't realize I'm crying until the tears start to gather at the tip of my nose.

I turn on the sink and splash water on my face, which is hot with fresh tears that I'm not sure is caused by sadness or anger. My eyes open and see the same frail girl as before, but this time she wears a bitter expression across her face.

I feel my eyes roll back into my head and a force push me backwards into the air, my hands reach out instinctively to grab something but they're just met with air. I watch the ceiling as I fall, the fall feels like it's in slow motion and just keeps going.

I sit up with a gasp and wide eyes, I lay on my bed with my headphones on playing music. A white tank top and red joggers cover my body, while a horrified expression covers my face. Other than the tears that trickle down my face, there is nothing else wrong, no sunken cheekbones or pale face or even a bandage.

I look around my room, the bags I packed were not resting on my bed full of clothes, and no blood covered the floor in dark specs. My toothbrush sat in its plain grey toothbrush holder, no evidence that anything even happened, and all the evidence that proved I was crazy.

"Gray?" I called out, wondering if he was even still here. No answer, just silence.

Maybe you are just crazy Leaigh, it's a high possibility.

"Mom?" I call out again, this time to a different person. Please be here please be here.

My mom's head pops up in the door frame, letting me release a breath when her soothing voice calls out and her motherly scent fills my senses.

"You called me, darling."

"Yeah I was just seeing if you were home, do you have time for smoothies?" My fingers cross in hopes that we can go like we used to all the time. A sad smile lays on her face, probably from recalling old memories but she nods in confirmation so I grab a hoodie and slip on my red and white Nike slides.

Her arm drapes over my shoulders and I lean into her as we walk down the stairs and out of the house. When we get to the smoothie shop she orders a Key Lime pie smoothie and I order Black-raspberry vanilla smoothie. We sit at the table farthest from the door, opposite of each other.

I watch the cars pass by through the window until I look back to my mom and see her with fresh tears down her face, making my brows scrunch together. It surprised me, really, to see her cry for the first time in years. Seeing such a strong woman breakdown makes my heart wrench, I reach over and swipe at the tears that somehow made their way down her cheek.

"I quit my job today L."

"Why?"

She lets out a sad chuckle and wipes her cheeks to remove the tears that fell right after I did. "I took on the job to distract myself from everything, the pain, the anger, the sadness, the disappointment. I wasn't ready to face it all, so I buried myself under work in hopes that it wouldn't bother me."

My eyes start to water when she tells me this, she was scared too...I wasn't the only one.

"And now, now it's time to accept everything for how it truly is. I can't keep running and running while hoping they don't catch me, L." I nod to assure her and she gives me a smile, not a happy one but not a sad one. One that says everything will be okay.

"It was about time, I was wondering when you were gonna be out of breath. You sure got some lungs on yah that's for sure." She laughs and moves to my side of the table so she can rest her head on my shoulder, I rest mine on top of hers and smile.