"Etheral"- Dazai x reader

Chapter 16

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Atsushi, who had been staring at me all this time, was shedding tears. I could feel his despair. Even though at the moment, I was enable to feel nothing more than sorrow and misery. He tried to console me, but everytime he tried to reach at me, he bit his lip and looked away.

"Did I ever tell you how pretty she was with her hair down. I never told her but when she kept her hair like this, it made me feel content. Or when we danced for the first time she kept teasing me playfully and I just couldn't take this much of pure affection. I still regret the fact that I didn't send her more poems and roses. She loved red roses. - I pick up the red rose from her hands and place a kiss on it. - Even though I haven't found my will to live, she was my reason to still exist and go on looking for some kind of meaning. Did I ever tell you that, Atsushi?"

"Yes Dazai, y-you tell me this almost every day..." - Atsushi who seemed to be heartbroken from my words, drowns his face in his hands and sobs.

"Atsushi, please, stay here with her... - I say as I lend Y/n gently in his hands. - I'll be right back."

"Dazai, where are you going?" - Atsushi asks with a concerned look.

"I needed to get to Chuuya as soon as possible."

While Dazai walks away, Atsushi takes a look at Y/n and says:

 "Only if you knew how much he loved you, how much he wanted to call your name everyday. How lively he would get when talking about you. I never thanked you for enabling me to meet Dazai. If you were still alive...if you... - He seemed to choke from all the crying. He barely knew Y/n, but he felt like he had lost someone important. Atsushi felt like your death would lead to another loss.

As Dazai takes the last corner, he notices Mori dead on the floor, along with all his man. 

"The book doesn't exist. - Ranpo appears from behind Dazai. - Mori didn't have the book. He just came for the key. This legendary book is just a story, who is believed to only cause misfortune to the ones who seek it."

Dazai's eyes darken, but he stays silent. The book he has been searching all his life for, doesn't exist? The book Y/n died for, doesn't exist?

He notices all the ADA members rushing to stop Chuuya from destroying the city. He's out of control, agitated.

"Chuuya!- Dazai calls him. - You made a promise to her remember?! She has all the hopes on you!" - He screams, slowing down Chuuya's anger.

"Y/n?" - he asks as he falls to the ground, unconscious. Dazai touches his hand and he comes back to normal.

"I'm sorry, - Dazai pats Chuuya's head. - You're all alone now buddy. Thank you for being my friend. Stay strong okay?"

Dazai bits his lip but contains his remorse. 

"Guys please help him out. I have something important to do."

"Dazai, no!"- Ranpo calls out. Of course he'd figured what Dazai was about to do.

"Please don't stop me Ranpo-san, I can't handle this."- Dazai claims as he paces forward to his Y/n.

In his mind there were these words, the words of a poem he wanted to write to you: 

If love were a place, it would be your arms. 

If love were music, it would be your voice.

 
If love were a taste, it would be the taste of your lips.
If love were a sound, it would be your laughter.

If love were a color, it would be the color of your eyes. 

If love were a person, it would be you.

I did want to die with you my love, forgive me for I am a fool.

Atsushi looked at Dazai who thanked him.

"Thank you, Atsushi for everything. Right now, you can go. It's been my pleasure being your mentor. Never stop fighting for what's good. There will always be a reason for you to continue living. I'm counting on you."

"Dazai-san, why are you talking like that?" - He questions narrowing his eyebrows. Dazai takes a gun and points it in his heart.

"DAZAI! NO!"- As Atsushi tries to take the gun from him, Dazai pulls the trigger.

...

2 months later/ Chuuya's pov

I stopped at the view of an amusement park. There were a lot of people, hanging around with their family and friends. I ask for a cotton candy an sit on a bench. 

"Wish you guys were here...- I say as I look at the night sky, full of stars covered from fluffy clouds. I open my phone and stare at my wallpaper. It was the photo we three took back then.

I can't help but smile remembering all the good time we had here. Y/n's laughter and that idiot's screams...

As I take the last bite of my cotton candy, I get a call.

"Yes, I'll be there."

I make my way to the headquarters.

As I was driving, I recalled how I was a witness of their love from the start. A love so beautiful and so pure, that they died on the same day, longing for each other. That day, I lost half of the meaning of my life. The other half, is the promise I made to Y/n.

"Boss, the president is here."- I hear Akutagawa claim. He's my assistant, the subordinate i've been training in years.

Kunikida walks in. They not only lost Dazai, but their president also short after.

"How are you mister Chuuya?" - he greets me and I greet him back.

"Still managing Kunikida, still managing... However, let's get this done."

We sit on a big table, surrounded by our closest companions. There are some papers ready to be signed. A peace contract, finally pushing all the conflict between the organizations aside.

We shake our hands and a smile appears in my face.

"For them." - I claim.

"For them." - Kunikida claims back and.

This was the story of two people joined by fate, because there is no such thing as coincidence. Some people are meant to cross our paths. They may stay for a while, leave short after, or stay with you forever. Distance is a tale told by the old, because there is no distance in time or space that can seperate two lovers. 

This was the story of a girl, who was placed in a throne with a heavy crown. A crown so heavy that disabled her to see life itself, only death was in her vision range. Until, there comes someone. Someone special they say. So special that opens your eyes and change your point of view on everything. Someone who touches your soul like no one has touched it before.

This was the story of a boy, abandoned and found. A boy who dispised the will to live and to find purpose. It is funny how a person who wants to die can give you so much life. This boy grew into a man who thought that wasn't content. He didn't know at first, but a smart person like him would later realize that his being was content all along, in her arms, in her embrace, in her aura and light. As he realized, he gave in and died with her.

 When two people so compatible grow together, they either grow apart or not grow at all. There are things we seek from the world, whereas we should seek more within ourselves. It is true, love does exist in its purest form. You can see it in everyday's life, you can also see it in death itself. 

Finding a purpose, a meaning, may be meaningless. Finding yourself however, is all it takes. Everybody wants to rule the world? No. Everybody wants to rule their own world. Not everyone can, because we are people defended not by the circumstences, but by ourselves. We find things in ourselves that stop us from reaching what we want. When we find what our heart desires, it is so much out of this world that it can easily be called, ethereal.

The end.