Badly Broken

Chapter 32

I felt my body begin to shake, my breathing became labored.

I wasn't ready to reveal my secrets to the world.

It will be just like it was in elementary school when everyone stared at me with disgust for being so skinny and dirty, or in middle school when everyone looked at me with pity for being unable to walk!

I don't want that again, I hid my body for a reason! I don't want anyone to see how disgusting it is.... How truly revolting the countless marks littering my skin are... But now everyone is going to see. Everyone is going to know...

My mind was a swirling mess of panic, I was losing myself in dread because I had no option but to show my scars and carry on with the fight.

The ringing continued, all the sounds around me completely muffled. My eyes were open but it's like I couldn't see. I was frozen in place, but then I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, snapping me out of my daze.

I looked up to see Lucas' green eyes, worry present in his bright orbs. I knew mine held nothing but fear and panic.

"Hey, take a deep breath," Lucas spoke in a soothing voice.

I opened my mouth and tried to breathe in, but it still wasn't quite right. It was haggard and came out as uncomfortable wheezes, as if I was choking on air. The world was spinning as I tried to focus on Lucas' face, but it wasn't working.

I knew I was hyperventilating and Dan was probably extremely confused by seeing me in such a vulnerable state. Lucas placed his hands on my face, cupping my cheeks, "Kai, look at me."

My unfocused eyes bounced around his face.

"Take a deep breath, just breathe," Lucas thumb softly brushed my skin just under my eye. "Hmm? Just focus on me and breathe."

My eyes stopped darting around the room, frantically trying to concentrate on something, and zoned in on his eyes. I felt my breath even ever so slightly.

Lucas noticed that I was no longer shaking as badly, "Lucas," I whispered. "E-Everyone is going to see..." My voice was weak, the whimper too quiet for Dan to hear.

"Shh, it's okay," Lucas hummed as he brushed his hand through my pitch-black hair speaking quiet enough that only I could hear him. "Things are different now. Don't think about what people are going to say or think, it doesn't matter anymore. You have me and your friends, and we know the truth. Your scars don't define you. We know how strong you are, and that's all that matters, right?"

I slowly nodded my head, "Right."

"So why don't we get out there and kick some Russian ass?" Lucas teased.

I gulped, "Yeah, let's do that."

Lucas removed his hands from my cheek and hair, stepping back and sliding his own shirt off.

Dan stood in the doorway awkwardly, clearly confused by my little breakdown.

I sighed as I grabbed the hem of my shirt, my hands trembling as I slid the black fabric up and over my head.

I heard a gasp coming from the security guard, "Kai, you-"

I cut him off by holding my hand up, "I know."

His eyes wracked down my torso and arms with wide eyes, taking in the dark scars that covered a majority of my skin. I've known Dan for nearly four years, but this was the first time I had seen such an expression on his face.

Disgust? No, definitely not.

Surprise? Shock? Yes, certainly.

I looked up at him, studying Dan. Ah, there it is. The pity.