Faded

Chapter 6

You ever just get that uneasy feeling in your chest when you know you're royally fucked? Like you fucked up so good and there's just no way for you to get yourself out of that situation? Cold sweat, fingertips and toes numb kind of petrified?

Brandon feels exactly that when he woke up to the familiar yet odd pair of limbs and body entangled with his. That and a splitting headache from the drinks he's had the night before.

Brandon had his entire life planned out, he's been like that for as long as he can remember because he hated failure. And when his eyes opened and saw Cassie's face pressed against his chest instead of her, his blood ran cold. Because in his bones he knew he failed her, in doing that, he failed himself.

He jumps out of her embrace like he had been electrocuted. Brandon's head spun in the process but the hurl threatened to have him spilling his guts out if not from the hangover but from utter disgust with himself. Brandon felt like he couldn't breathe. He takes a huge breath but it feels as if the air doesn't quite reach his lungs. He feels as if his head was going to explode.

His hands pulled at the roots of his hair, his eyes burning with tears as self loathing takes over the disgust. "Shit!" he hisses out, chest heaving as he scrambles to get off the bed. He picks his clothes up from the floor a string of curses slips out his mouth like a sinner's prayer. Cassie stirs awake in seconds, her eyes mirror the horror to Brandon's.

"Fuck!" Brandon whispered putting his clothes back on, seeing the love bites and scratches now adorning his body. 'How could I do this? How could I have been so fucking stupid?'

"Brandon-" Cassie swallows hard as she tries reaching out for him, her heart sinks seeing how disappointed Brandon looked. She gingerly pulls the blanket to cover herself. "I'm so sorry." she whimpered. Brandon glared at her but deep down he knows he's to blame just as much as she is. He wanted to scream, wanted to punch the wall, anything. Brandon paced the room, his mind unable to process the shit going on. He wanted this to be some sick, horrible dream.

Fuck, if Skyler finds out she would leave him for sure. Hot tears well up his eyes, guilt and regret eating him from the inside out. "Goddammit!" Brandon muffled his yell with his palms dragging across his face. He turns back to Cassie with crazed eyes practically falling to his knees beside the bed. "No one can fucking know about this, promise me!"

Cassie is startled when Brandon grabbed her arms, shaking her to respond. "Last night shouldn't have happened! We never should have, I should have fucking left-" Brandon was in full blown panic, Cassie has never seen him like this. Not while they were studying to become lawyers. He's always been the level headed one in times of crisis and for him to be this shaken up about her possibly finding out, then God, he must really regret what happened to them.

"Okay." Cassie agrees despite feeling her heart cracking open in her chest. "I promise." Catching her tears before it slips down her cheeks with the back of her hand. She watches him nod to himself, calming a bit but the panic behind his eyes were bright as day. Bradon wets his lips standing back up, taming his messy bed hair and wiping his sweaty palms on his sweatpants. "Fuck, I need to go." he mutters seeing the time on Cassie's bedside table. Only a matter of minutes before people start getting up to get ready for the day.

Cassie tried so hard not to show how much Brandon's reaction hurt her but he turned to head for the door, her lips trembled inevitably pulled down on the corners at a deep set frown. She felt so sick for even hoping what had happened to them would bring him back to her, for allowing herself to do something so desperate.

And Brandon, despite being distressed by what he's done to Skyler, to your relationship, he stopped in his tracks turning back to Cassie. Brandon saw how fragile she is, how hurt. His expression softens.

"I'm sorry, Cassie. I really am." he whispered Cassie saw that he sincerely ment it, she wished he didn't.

Brandon's mind was bombarded with fear. What if someone saw him last night? What if someone told her? What if she already knows?

Fuck! Brandon's eyes widened fear shooting through his spine as he recalls calling her last night. He frantically pats his pockets walking to his room, trying to locate his phone but it comes up empty.

When Brandon looked up, he found Nick sitting on the floor by his door. No words were needed, the disappointment and anger brewing in his friend's eyes were enough to give Brandon the message loud and clear. He knows.

He saw him get out of Cassie's room down the hall. He's eyeing the marks on Brandon's neck the scratches on his arm that his tanktop did not help concealing.

Brandon felt like a trapped animal, the feeling of helplessness surging through his veins. He didnt know if fate was truly fucking with him, the phone started ringing in Nicholas' hand.

Nick unwillingly tore his glare off of Brandon's face to see Skyler's name flashing on the screen. Nick takes a deep breath getting to his feet. At this point, all Brandon could do was heavily consider grovelling at his best friends feet and beg him not to tell her.

Tears filled Brandon's eyes. Is this how he's going to lose her? Brandon's head hung with tears falling to the floor by his feet waiting with baited breath for Nick to pick up the call to tell her the truth.

Brandon suddenly staggered back, a blow in his chest sending him falling flat on the floor with a loud thump. He coughs wildly gasping for breath. The moment Brandon realizes he had just been punched in the chest, he was met by Nicholas' misty eyes.

"You tell Skyler yourself, tell her what you did, asshole. I'm not giving you a fucking way out." Nicholas spat as he pressed the phone harder against his chest. "I've always had your back, man. But not this time. She gave you everything and this is what you did." he says ruefully before turning around.

Brandon cradled the phone still ringing in his hand practically dragging himself back to his damn room. He sobs regretfully leaning against the door, not finding the strength to pick up her call. "I'm so fuckin' sorry Skyler." he whispers, the ache in his chest killing him and God know it wasn't because Nicholas punched him.