Faded

Chapter 2

 Brandon walked over to me, kneeling at my side, his arms going around my waist.

His embrace felt foreign. It didn't provide any solace or comfort like it usually did. It felt so wrong. It feels like he's trying to piece me back together but I was crumbling all at the same time. The glass blurs tears flooding my eyes again, I wondered how I'm even still crying after all the tears I shed.

"Skyler, I made a mistake." Brandon finally broke the silence, words coming out of him in broken whispers. His face buried in my neck. I should push him off but my body wouldn't let me. I felt his hot tears dampening my shirt.

"Dont," he trembled as his hold on me grew tighter.

"Don't leave me."

Not knowing what to say, I placed a hand on his head trying to soothe him. Brandon loved me. I know that well I thought I did. He's proved it to me time and time again that it's real. But that doesn't change the fact that he slept with someone else.

But that also doesn't change the fact that I still love him.

I turned my head, placing a kiss on his temple. Brandon's eyes squeezed close burying his face deeper in my neck.

"I messed up." he admitted, his voice faltering.

"I have to take responsibility for what I did but," he swallows hard, desperately reaching for my face, forcing me to meet his gaze. "I can't lose you." he shakes his head, eyes wild searching mine.

He feels fear shot through his spine seeing her staring blankly at him. He can't look up to see the woman he loves. There's no warmth, no emotion on her usually expressive face, it scared him.

"Skyler please." he pleads again. He had never begged for anything before in his life but God, he'd do absolutely anything right now. He haphazardly wipes his face grabbing her wrists.

My eyes widened as he hit's himself using my hands. "Hit me! Fucking hurt me! Anything!" he sniffles, tears falling down his cheeks. "Let the anger you're feeling out, make me feel the pain I caused you!"

"I don't want to."

Brandon stills, looking up at her with a confused expression. She places a hand on the base of his jaw looking him in the eye.

"I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. Especially not you." She says, her facade breaking , Brandon saw just how distraught she was. The severity of his sin anchors his heart heavier.

"I'm so fuckin' sorry, baby." his face crumpled. Taking her hands in his huge ones. He kisses her knuckles, arms, neck, every part he could reach muttering his apologies like a choir singing to the skies. Turing away before he could kiss her lips. The gesture broke his heart but he knows he deserved it. He no longer deserved her lips, or her but he was begging.

"Tell me what the hell I have to do to make this right." Brandon murmurs helplessly, his knees hurting at this point but he refuses to get up until you both talk this through.

"You said so yourself, you have to take responsibility." she says monotonously, blinking away the tears that started to blind her. "You're going to be a father. and," she choked on a sob forcing herself to finish. "And the kid will need you." her voice fell into a whisper turning to meet his gaze.

"So it's pretty obvious what you should do." The worrying smile she gave him not helping the beating of her heart that's being torn in two at this very moment. She cradles his face with both her soft hands. "This is the right thing for the three of them". Four, she corrected herself internally.

Make it easier for him, I tell myself running my thumb against his lower lip. A broken smile stretches my lips meeting his gaze. "I love you, Brandon. So much. "I said for possibly the last time seeing the alarm in his eyes as the gears in his mind started working out what's happening.

"No-" He shakes his head stubbornly but I shush him. "She came back into your life for a reason. You can be with her now. You're free now." I shrugged . "Now we know why this happened."

"Skyler stop this bullshit!" he screams, his grip on my arm painful at this point, but nothing compared to the one i'm feeling in my chest.

"Listen to me," I wiped the tears streaming down his face. "I'm not going to deprive you of a future that was meant for you. I'm not going to get in the way of you having a complete and happy family."

Brandon is shaking his head, muttering curses. "My future is with you! I made a fucking mistake. And I'll make things right with the kid but, goddammit, you don't have to go!"

"Then tell me you don't love her." It took everything in me not to crumble right then and there when I saw the hesitation flicker in his eyes. Brandon opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. He tried again, gripping my hand as if his life depended on it. "I love you, Skyler."

"That's not what I asked." my head hung, feeling like it's going to explode. I still want him, I still love him, despite everything.

"Skyler, we can get through this. I'll do whatever it takes." he says, craning his neck to meet my gaze. "I love you." he repeated.

This has got to be the hardest thing I've had to do in my life. Better now than later.

"If you do love me," A murmur left my mouth, "Then you'll live your life without regrets." Brandon made a face, filled with confusion and fear but I continued. "Cassie is going to need you and so will the baby." My voice brakes, tears falling endlessly as I slipped the engagement ring he had given me off my finger.

Before he could protest, I leaned forward giving him a searing kiss. My brows furrowed pulling him to me as close as I can, fingers entangling on his blond mop of hair. Brandon compulsively kissing me back, forgetting the burning sensation in the back of my mind. I savored how his lips felt against mine, how he tastes, how he smells, everything about him. It fueld me, giving me enough strength to do what I'm about to do next.

I pulled away breathlessly, leaning my forehead against his. Brandon's eyes held turmoil looking up at me. Whatever hope he has to make it through this with me vanishes when I muttered , "If you do love me, you'll let me go."

"Skyler, please," Brandon's eyes fill with tears again, nostrils flaring as he helplessly watches me placing the ring in his palm.

"Goodbye, Brandon." I murmured my lips against his forehead before getting up walking away.

I don't turn back. No matter how much his screams tear at my heart. No matter how painful each step was to take.

Maybe my heart won't ever heal from this. Maybe I'll never be happy again.

But at least the man I love has a chance to be.