Dear My Devil

special 1 | tripolar

"You are?" She asked, looking right at me and I stunned for a while. That pure look on her face told me that she truly didn't know who I was and that was something new. For the first time, a girl her age failed to recognise me, not to mention that we were in SM property.

Anyway, it saved me the trouble of managing my artist impression, so all was good. And maybe I should just apologise for intruding and leave now. "I'm sorry to interrupt but-"

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't know you booked this room. You can have it now," she quickly interrupted and went to pack her stuff.

But that was not my intention.

"No, I don't mean that. I came by because I heard loud noises coming from here."

She was ready to leave by the time I tried to explain but she stood there eyeing me for a while. "Oh," she let out, and we looked at each other a little longer. I wonder if I was supposed to respond to that. "It's not me," she added.

"It's not you?" I doubted because I was 101% sure it was her. When I saw her knuckles looking slightly bruised, that ascertained me more. "Oh, then maybe I heard wrong." I gave her the benefit of doubt but I am still sure it's her.

What was she going through to give herself such pain?

"Yeah. Bye!" She wanted to rush out but I stopped her by the shoulder.

"Wait," I said. Thankfully I was standing at the door so I could block her in time. "I don't need the room, you can keep practicing."

"Me neither," She replied, looking back at me with her round black eyes. She kept a poker face that made me wonder what went through her mind. Why did she lie though? I'm pretty sure she would have continued using the space if I hadn't entered the room.

"But you were just... never mind, I'm just going to leave first. You do your thing." I stepped back and quickly closed the door. There was no need for any explanation. She can decide to stay or leave after I go. The fact that she didn't leave after I came out proved that I was right - she did want the space. Beats me to why she had to lie.

I was going to leave for good but the sight of her crying to herself flashed through my mind. One second she was banging the wall and the other, she was crying... that was so bipolar. And worrisome. Is it okay to leave her alone?

I turned back and opened the door, deciding to care somehow. "Do you need help?"

"What? ... No I don't," She frowned slightly.

Right, she probably found me weird for showing concern out of nowhere. I shouldn't have been so direct after all.

"Cool. I'm saying just in case you ever need help... I'm sure the people around you will be glad to help you. If you're having a hard time, just reach out to someone."

This was probably the right distance to keep since I wasn't her anyone to offer my help.

I was hoping my advice would remind her that she wasn't alone, but she responded to me with a chuckle instead. One look and I knew that she wasn't laughing at me. She was chuckling in distaste to whatever was on her mind, and I wish I knew what landed her in that state.

I was looking at a weak-hearted girl who was trying to look tough.

"Okay," she finally answered me, and I realised I had been staring at her the whole time. We gave each other a polite smile and said our quick goodbyes before I left the room for good. I didn't know if I would see her again, but she definitely wasn't one I could easily forget about.

...

More than two hours have passed since the guys and I started our 3am practice and we were almost done perfecting it. "I'll be back, I need the restroom." I told them right before leaving them to continue without me.