Help... (Daveed Diggs x Reader)

The Hospital

I ask them where daveed is and they say he is in surgery ... we all wait in the waiting room and I try to distract myself by listening to music but daveed songs would play and then it kinda defeats the point .... finally we get the announcement that he is out of surgery... but there is one problem ... he is in a coma .... I freak out and they only allow one person in his room at a time so I go first... I see him laying there so peacefully... I go over and start to talk to him... about everything ... he can't hear me right ?
"Hey daveed .... I know you probably can't hear me but I have a problem .... I love you so much ... but I also love Leif .... I don't know who to choose .... and it's all my fault that your here I should have told you I loved you more and kissed you.... I really don't want to be here ... I can't live without you ... I'm not doing well at all ... I still cut and I don't take my meds and I started drinking ... you probably would be so mad at me ... I'm so sorry for everything ! I should have been there for you ! I'm such a horrible person .. you probably hate me..." I go to grab his hand and I just hold it....
Daveeds POV
I wake up from surgery but everything is black ... where am I?
In your head !
Who are you?
I'm you?
What?
You in a coma so your gonna be stuck in your head but not for long ... well I mean not for us but for the real life people it could month or years ! But to us it's like 3 days
But how can I hear?
You can hear and sometimes see but you just can't move !
How long am I gonna be here ?
Well we don't know yet maybe forever you don't have a high chance of living !
Oh so when I'm dying it's only me but every other time it's both of us !
I hope you know your arguing with you self !
Okay let's change the subject ! Is Y/N still here ?
Yea she is holding your hand ...
I feel bad for her ... I wish I could help her ...
Welp you can't so you might want to suck it up ...
Wow your so sweet !
I know !
Is she crying ?
I think so ?

Y/N POV
I start to cry a little because the doctors think there is a very little chance he will actually wake up ... I leave his room so other people can come in ... Leif begs me to come home so we do and she makes me sleep in her room to make sure I'm not doing nothing but the next morning I rush to the hospital so I can spend time with daveed... I see he had to have oxygen given to him.... The doctors tell me he is not in great shape so I stay with him the whole day ... I can tell some nurses don't like me ... I talk with him and I even get his favorite food ... but i eat it cause he can't.... (duh)  we watch his favorite show and then the nurses make the extra bed and I go to bed .... then next morning a nurse knocks at the door and says " someone is here to take you home !" I clean up my area and kiss daveeds forehead goodbye ... Leif picks me up and forces me to shower and eat ... I lie down on my bed and just think about everything .. I'm such a horrible person ...
Bold- intrusive thoughts
Normal - Y/N
Yea you are horrible!
Your not helping !
Yea I know but like nobody would care if you just left ..:
Stop!
I slam my head into my pillow and play a few songs and try to get my mind off things ... I fall asleep ....

A few weeks pass and everyday Y/N went to the hospital for daveed and talked to daveed ate with him and told him everything and daveed listened... but she slowly slipped out of contact with many people and her depression got very bad .... and daveed wasn't getting any better .... she started to give up ...
It has been 43 days since daveed has fallen in a coma ... I am not doing too well .... I stopped contacting with the ham cast and barely talk to Leif ... One day I get super drunk while Leif is home ... she was sitting on the couch and I had drunk one whole bottle of alcohol... I walk out with the bottle and walk to the kitchen ...
" Y/N what are you doing ?" Leif ask while turning around and sees me holding a alcohol bottle ..
" Y/N ! You can't be drinking they don't mix good with your meds !" " I don't even take them ! " I say slurred .. " give me the bottle !" " NO-o-o-O" then I smash the bottle and grab a new one ... I walk back to my room and hear Leif yelling but it's kinda faded I can't really hear her ... i go to my bathroom and grab my meds .... I'm gonna do it ... they wouldn't care ... daveeds not even coming back ... I lock the Bathroom door and takes all the meds in the bottle ... I continue to drink the alcohol... if I'm gonna go I wanna go doing what I love ... so I turn on the bath and put headphones in and sit in the tub and listen to clipping ... soon I'm gone...

Leifs POV
Y/N was drunk so I needed her to go to bed and I couldn't leave her alone ... I knock on her bathroom door cause her door was open but she wasn't in her room ... no response ... I knock again but harder ... " Y/N" I start to freak out and knock the bathroom down the door ... I see her pill bottle empty and her sitting in the tub with her clothes on .. alcohol bottles were on the floor and she had her headphones in ... I shake her to try to make her wake up but it doesn't work ... I check her pulse, it's really weak... I call 911 and they come and take her away in the ambulance... I ride with them and they take her to a room and they have to pump her stomach out .... They told me she also has a 50% chance of waking up .... I should have been there for her! I should have done more things ! I think of things that Y/N would want me to do since She can't do them  ... one comes to mind .. talk to daveed ... although I hate him because he has put her though so much ! I have to do it for her ... so Every day I talk to him for 2 hours or more ... I check up on them both daily ... I clean her room and everybody gets gifts for both of them so  when they wake up they have gifts ... since Me and Y/N have an extra room at our house the cast agrees that we should make it for daveed and that we would have one of the guys stay over each day just to keep us safe .... I miss her everyday .. her laugh ... her smile .... do I like her ?