Lara

Chapter 2

"Thanks, I appreciate it, but I already asked my dad. He wants to see me off. And it's...." He takes a deep breath, "It'll be for six months."

I'm speechless for a moment and then repeat, "Six months!?"

Again, that was not what I was expecting. I have Jade to lean on, but having someone outside the family dynamic to help me sort through shit is what I need right now. I need Jake, I think with irritation. He's my rock. During my divorce, I probably spent an equal amount of time curled up on his couch as I did my own. It had happened too close to Dad passing, and Jake made sure I was eating and bathing and doing all the essential things my depressed mind couldn't handle. I need him right now, I think helplessly.

"Sloan listen, this is something I have to do. If I ever want to do more than bartend at O'Henry's I need to get ahead and fast. How am I ever going to provide for a family one day on what I make? I need this." His eyes silently pleading with me to understand.

Nodding listlessly, I'm suddenly feeling very tired, and frustrated, and cranky. I rub my temples as my head starts to throb. Too many changes in 24 hours I think for the umpteenth time today.

"Jake, I'm not your girlfriend. You're not breaking up with me, you don't have to explain yourself."

He looks as though I've slapped him. I feel a pang of guilt and add hurriedly, "I just mean of course I'm so happy for you, how could I not be? I'll miss you for sure, but this is something you need to do like you said. It's just been a long day and I'm not processing correctly."

"Ok, I'll leave you be so you can get back to bed." He gets up and moves to the front door.

I follow him, suddenly feeling awkward. Leaning against the edge of the door, I hold it open as he stands in the doorway. He looks nervous again as he runs a hand through his hair.

"I didn't want our goodbye to look like this."

Goodbye? I wonder, surprised at his tone. Why is he taking this so seriously? I know why I need him right now, but what is going on with him?

"Jake I know we're used to seeing each other almost every day, but there is this thing called Facetime we can use." I smile up at him and say jokingly, "Maybe it'll be good for us, codependency, and all that."

He nods without smiling, looking down at me. His brow knits again as he rubs his jaw. He looks like he's trying to work something out. Then before I know what's happening he dips his head and his lips meet mine. Soft and gentle at first, then his hand moves to my cheek and he deepens the kiss. My body reacts before my mind does, and I slowly open my lips to his, kissing him back ever so slightly.

It's over just as soon as it began. He presses his forehead against mine for a moment, his eyes still closed. Then he steps back with an expression I can't read.

"Goodbye, Sloan," he says quietly.

And he's gone.

I stand there completely stunned and speechless. Finally rousing myself out of my stupor I make my way back inside. Sitting on my bed in the dark I press my hand to my lips in wonderment. Did that just happen? And did I just kiss him back?

Yes, Lara you did, the voice inside my head answers. And you liked it...in fact, you really liked it.

~*~

Pushing my dinner around on my plate I can see my mother's lips moving, but I'm having a hard time concentrating on what she's saying. Glancing down at my phone for the hundredth time I sigh inwardly when I see no new messages. I had texted Jake first thing this morning wishing him safe travels and to keep me updated. I texted him this, hoping to maintain our normalcy.