Detective Grey crackfic oneshots

Sleep

Prompt by: PepperLeGayDude
Character A is anxious and sleep deprived and character B helps A in their own way. The way Character B helps us up to you.

"Ugh, do you ever sleep?" Robin groans, grabbing for his tea.

Grey has been pacing for the past five hours, "Well it's not my fault that the police are after me, if only you hadn't got Baron involved to get me out!" He shouts, feet clunking loudly against the hardwood floor. "Damn...and if only I didn't agree!"

"It's three in the morning...chill, love." Robin says as he checks his watch, mildly deranged, "You shouldn't be worrying about that right now, you should be sleeping while I'm on the lookout for police."

"Who has the time for that?!"

"Obviously you do, seeing as you haven't done anything but walk back and forth like a maniac on the run."

"Well that's because I am on the run now, I'm a wanted criminal now like you!"

"We'll see about that." Rummaging through his bag, Robin takes out a small cylinder from a pocket.

"Didn't take you for the chap stick type, Robin." The detective comments, still flying around the room.

"Only on special occasions." Robin uncaps the tube, running it over his mouth and rubs his lips together thoughtfully, "Now come here."

"What for?"

"Just come here." Robin bends him into a very chaste kiss. Thirty seconds later, he pulls back.

"What was the point of that?" Grey asks, standing properly again.

"What? Just because I'm a criminal doesn't mean I can't want to kiss you."

"Well, you can't, Because I don't care about you, I never have and I never will, if you were to die I wouldn't care because you don't mean anything to me but — " Suddenly, Grey felt very woozy, stumbling forward onto Robin, "What — ?"

"Shh, shh." Robins voice is soothing, arms enfolding the hapless detective, "It's okay, ease into it."

"What did you do mother fu-..." Grey garbles his words, then gets distracted by the room beginning to shimmer.

"It was a chemical I made yesterday. Hm...Clever little device, spreads a seal over the lips of the one applying it, so only people who make contact will be affected." Robin wipes the chemicals off smiling.

"I wasn't... trouble..." The Detective tried and fight for consciousness.

"You were driving me mad. Even perfect specimens such as myself need beauty rest." Dragging the half-passed out Detective to Greys bed, Robin pulls the covers over him and takes his glasses off. "Is it working?"

Grey answers with light snoring.

"I know it's a foreign sensation to you, dear, but you've really got to try and relax sometimes even if you are wanted by the police" Robin kisses Greys forehead, entirely too pleased with himself smiling.