Whispered (on hold)

Dynamite

Chapter 13

Dynamite

Kai Donovan

August and his family had gone away for the weekend. They left Thursday night and wouldn't be back until Monday. It was Friday night and he had texted every chance he got, making sure to tell me that he didn't have good service. I read and reread his last messages, hoping it would refresh with something new every time I pulled it down. It was a simple message, just telling me that they'd arrived and that he'd text me before he slept. He had to go to a very particular spot to get good service.

I placed the phone face down in my bed. My dad was out again. That was good. I guess it was working out with him and Silvia. I was happy for him, to be out there again. I just didn't realize how lonely it would be for me. Even when we weren't talking to each other, it was nice knowing that he was still in the house. I was used to it but it was a good thing to readjust to, so I shouldn't complain.

I sat in the center of my bed with my legs folded, wondering how to spend my Friday night. I bit the inside of my cheek. I had done all my homework for the weekend. I didn't feel like reading or watching anything. Social media was only so entertaining after spending a while on it. Maybe I should just go to sleep. I checked the time, 7:34. It was a bit too early for that and I wasn't tired. I could feel the coffee that I snuck this morning coursing through my blood. My dad hated that I drank it. I didn't do it often, I just hadn't slept well the night before and I had an exam today. It was stronger than I thought since I could still feel its effects 12 hours later. I laid back and stared at the stars on my ceiling, hoping that they would inspire me to do something.

It wasn't long after that my stomach growled and the realization that I hadn't eat since 8 am hit. I guess I was more preoccupied than I realized. I sat up, putting my hair back into the ponytail that it had fallen out of before making my way downstairs. I went straight to the fridge, hoping to find something easy to make but was severely disappointed. I guess my dad had been slacking on grocery shopping too. He must be having a better time than I realized. I stood with the fridge open, debating if I should stay hungry or get the groceries myself. We lived a bit far from the nearest supermarket, at least in terms of walking. It was 20 mins on a brisk pace. I hadn't been a fan of ordering out, not anymore so I couldn't bring myself to make that an option. I closed the fridge and leaned against it. I hadn't been out by myself in a very long time, no matter how brief the trip. I don't think that I can remember the last time that I actually had been.

I twirled my ring around my finger, my newest nervous tick. On one hand, it would be nice to get the groceries, take it off of the list of tasks that my dad has to do. It would be good for me to be out on my own, even for something as little as grocery shopping. On the other hand, I could just try to make do with what I had and did I really want to be out alone at night? I thought about asking my dad to bring food from wherever he had gone but I didn't want to rush him. My stomach grumbled again as if on cue. I looked outside through the window that I walked over to. It wasn't too dark. The street lights had done a good job of keeping everything bright and visible and this was a good neighborhood. Not that many people around which was a pro and a con. I twirled the string the controlled the blinds on my finger as I weighed my options. If I was just focused and quick, it wouldn't be that bad. Make sure I know what I need to get, get in, get it, get out. Nice and easy.

I found myself standing in front of my door with my door on the knob. I had everything I needed: coat, list of things to buy, money, keys. The only thing left was the will to open the door and actually head outside. I fiddled with my unzipped zipper, pulling it down and up and down again.

"Come on, Kai. You're almost there. Just open the door and head outside," I started speaking to myself, "This is the hard part. This is the hard part."

My hand stayed still on the knob and I looked down at my shoes. I felt my eyes start to water and I couldn't hold it back this time.

"Damn it." I let go and aggressively wiped my face.

Why couldn't I do this? I sniffled as I questioned myself. I jumped back at the sound of the opening door, followed by laughter. My father and his date walked in. I was too close to pretend that I had been somewhere else. It took long for me to realize what was happening, I couldn't cover it up. His smile dropped when he looked at me.

"I'm okay." I said quickly before rushing into the kitchen. I regretted choosing the location as soon as I had gotten there but it was the closest.

I heard him talking to his guest for a while before the door closed and he walked into the kitchen alone. Gosh, I was the ultimate cockblocker.

"I'm okay." I repeated.

"Ok." he said in response.

We both stood on opposite sides of the kitchen in silence. Maybe this was the best I was going to get. I was talking which I hadn't seen happening for myself. I was dating to an extent. I was doing good and I should just leave well enough alone. Maybe this was the highest point for me, it was a good point, I liked it here. I did but still I felt sick, like everything had blown up.

~~~~

I Find It So Funny When People Comment On The Earlier Chapters Of Silenced Where I Did Something Cringe, I Really Die Inside. Please Spare Me. I Know It's Bad, lol. I Definitely Need To Go Back And Edit That Story.

I Know The Sporadic Updating Is Annoying But I'm A First Sem College Student, This Is A Hard Adjustment.

Also, Random Note: These Songs I Attach Will Not Always Relate To The Chapter Content As In The Lyrics Matchings. I Just Liked The Title For The Chapter And It's A Good Song That I Wanted To Share.

Vote!
Comment!
Enjoy!

2.94k Reads
163 Votes
39 Comments

10/14/2020