Whispered (on hold)

Panic Room

Chapter 7

Panic Room

Kai Donovan

Victoria was back.

She had messaged me to let me know that she got back two days ago since she was starting college soon. She wanted to meet and I had agreed which I surprisingly didn't regret. Forwards not backwards, right? It feels like I've been living in fast forward, another moment passing by. A lot was happening and I had been rolling it because this was the new me. I worked with the problems that I had now. I wrote in my journal, I talked to McCain, I didn't cut, I didn't let it brew until I exploded. I handled things. 1 point for me, right?

My phone buzzed, pulling me out of my thoughts. Victoria texted that she was outside. Before I could even finish the text, I heard her honking her car horn, making me laugh. Why text if you're going to honk? I went to go meet her outside. She waved eagerly from her car which had the top down. She opened the door to the passengers seat. I hesitated, looking at the empty, safe back seat.

"Well, come on! We have things to do today!" She chirped, making me climb into the seat next to her.

"Alright, I am so excited. I never have people to shop with. I have been told that I have a 'strong personality'. I guess that's what being an only child does to you, ha! Omg, where should we go first?" She continued.

I gave her a blank look as she started to drive. I didn't shop, I wouldn't know where to go. Before I said anything, this realization hit her.

"Right, okay. I'll pick. You should let me style you. After all, I am going into fashion."

"Really?" I said. It made sense, though. I had went to her social media when we first met and it was full of elaborate photo shoots. And she dressed nice.

"Don't sound too shocked," she laughed while looking at me, "You'd be a good model. Nice skin, shy but in a cute way, people would just eat you up!"

The rest of the ride was the same, Victoria talking and me giving short responses. She'd decided on one of the smaller malls in the city. I hadn't been to this one before. We parked and got out and Victoria pulled me inside.

"This is one of the hidden gems of the city. It has so many thrift shops and cheap but cute clothes. This is my favorite mall." She said still holding my hand.

I listened to my heart beating. It hadn't picked up. It was normal, it was calm. I followed her into a vintage clothing store. She walked around looking at the clothes while I mostly stayed behind. Every now and then, she pull me over and hold up a piece of clothing next to me.

"Alright," she said, handing me a pile of clothes, "Try these on."

I raised a brow. Had I agreed to be her model without realizing?

"Come on, Kai. Let's just see how you look in this clothes. I have a few style ideas for you. I want to see which one works best."

My non-confrontational nature had walking into the dressing room with Victoria passing me different outfits. The first one was "e-boy" or so I was told. It reminded me of Nolan with all the dark colors but his clothes were always bigger than him. Photos were taken. Victoria had given in a 6/10 and said that we could "do better" and sent me back into the dressing room. The next outfit was a vintage type of look. Clothes from older generations or something. I thought it was nice. Victoria gave it a 6.5/10 and we tried again. The next one was an oversized clothes outfit but not too big. The reveal was met with a squeal.

"Yesss, this is the one! I knew this one would be the best. You are too much like Gun for this style to not work on you."

"So the rest was what?" I asked as I had a fleeting questioning thought of who Gun was.

"Oh, just for fun. You looked cute in them all. Come on, we must get you more outfits like this one."

After I changed back into my own clothes, we bought a bunch of clothes. More for me than Victoria, I noticed. We hit up a few more shops before my stomach growled loud enough for the passerbys to stop and look back us. I blushed as Victoria laughed loudly.

"Why didn't you say you were hungry?" She asked in between laughs.

"I didn't realize how hungry I was." I said softly as I was pulled into a nice buffet style restaurant. You pay one price for the bowl with whatever you can fit into it. The food was a mix of Americanized Chinese food and Italian food which sounded weird but had very good options.

I paid for our food as Victoria got us drinks and seats. She smiled at me as i sat down.

"What?" I asked her when her eyes stayed on me.

"Nothing." She looked down at her food and started to eat.

"Come on."

"It's nothing, just that you did great today. Like with all the people and all my energy and just in general."

I raised a brow. She had made a point. I hadn't been able to notice the amount of people here but that was because I was focused on Victoria and what we were doing. I smiled to myself. I had done good.

"How do you do it?" She asked softly.

"Hmm?"

"Get better. I mean you're in Ms' McCain's office more than me so something must've really messed you up so I just want to know how you are getting better because maybe that'll work for me."

I didn't respond. I didn't know how.

"Sorry, that might've been weird or too much. Sorry, ignore me. Let's eat."

"I don't know."

We looked at each other.

"I did bad, then worst, then good, then horrible for a really longer time, but now it isn't anymore. Horrible, that it."

Then it was quiet for a while and we ate in the silence. Victoria finished before me, moving me to get a to-go bag. As we walked to her car, she grabbed my hand and pulled me aside. After making sure no one else was around, she spoke.

"I wasn't on vacation."

"Okay." I said.

"I wasn't on vacation. I was in this program type of thing, like a troubled youth thing. At least that's the nice way to think of it. In reality, it was a psych ward because of something I did."

"Ok."

"McCain said that telling people makes it better so I'm telling you."

I smiled, "She tells me that too."

"It's not as easy as she makes it seem." She laughed and I agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hamilton Soundtrack?? So Good, You Guys Must Listen To It.

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7/15/20