Commitment

Part 56

"Ok." She unlaced her arms and stood up straighter. This is it. They are leaving. Really going.

"Lore too. They will come back at the weekend, to say their thanks in person. I assume you will be here?"

"Not Saturday, but Sunday I have time off." She said. Her plan was to do the milking, go to work, come back do the evening milking, wait for the tanker, and then hopeful will go to bed without thinking about him. Because she knew, if he was in her thoughts, she would not sleep. And she knew she can't afford to handle the herd if she was not alert the next day.

"I will tell Granddad and Lore."

"Ok great. Thanks" Agitated, she folded her arms and leant against the kitchen units.

He should have given her the keys and walked. But here he was, making conversation. "They're both getting the new place ready." Gray told her, again not sure why he was prolonging his departure.

"Right." In her mind she thought, he should give me the keys and leave. Fast. Before I blubber. But he was still here, making conversation as if they were the best friends. He had months, to generated a friendship, but he didn't.

"I assume you have checked the sheep in the Miller paddock."

"Yes." Her fingers behind her back were lacing and unlacing as if it would help her.

"And they are ok."

"Yes."

"Did you check on the fence? I fixed it yesterday."

"Yes, saw it. Thank you." She unlaced her fingers and jammed her fingers into her jean's back pocket.

"Did you moved them from the Millers paddock to the North West paddock?"

"Yes." She nodded.

"And problems? Any snags?"

"No." She shook her head.

He glanced around the courtyard. He couldn't believe how sad he was, leaving this place. He looked at the paddock where they had the mud fight, and the almost kiss. Again. He looked across to the shed, and said, "Did you make a note of the tankers' next visit?"

"Yes." She retrieved her fingers from her pockets. She started to fidget.

"Do you remember how to handle it, if you have the same problem as last week with the hose to the tanker?"

"Yes." She bit her lip.

"If not, asked the driver to handle it. He will know what to do."

"Ok." She opted to fold her arms. Anything to keep her composure. Falling apart on the inside is not good

He nodded and looked across at the house. "And you don't want to take an inventory of the bedrooms before I leave?"

"No." Her tears, that she had banked, was dissipated inside and she swallowed the lump in her throat.

He glanced around, as he finally ran out of reasons to prolong this conversation. "Are you sure? I don't mind if you want to check, see that we've left it ....."

"Not necessary." She replied and her smile widened, but still it did not reach her eyes. Their conversation role reversal struck her then, for the last few months, she'd been the one with the long sentences while he had usually gone for short responses. Today was different. Today her heart was breaking into millions of tiny pieces. "Thanks." She said quietly and hoped that he wouldn't hang around. Not when her heart was breaking.

"Yeah." He sighed, knowing that he should have thanked her earlier. "I should be thanking you, I guess, for helping us."

Regan shrugged.

"Lore is much happier now. Granddad too. And I have enjoyed working on the farm." Even if she had ripped them off and not paid them for their work. "Anyway, thanks."

Regan sighed, she could hear him say the words, but the elephant in the room was the low salary she'd paid him. "I think we both got something out of the arrangements." She just hoped that one day he'd see that for himself. "Thanks. For everything you've done on, and with, the farm. My farm has improved because of you and your family's work." She made eye contact, "I know you won't believe me, but I'm sorry I could not afford to pay you more. I appreciate all your hard work. You made a huge difference to the place."

That embarrassed him. And made him uncomfortable. "Yeah, well. I'd better get going."

"Sure. Thanks again." She said and held out her hand. Be professional, she advised herself silently. Don't let him see that he's breaking your heart. Stay strong.

Reluctantly he took it and shook it. Their eyes held contact. Reluctantly he disengaged.

"See you around." Regan told him softly and heard the pieces of her heart shatter and come to rest at her feet.

"Yes."