Someday

Chapter 27

" I always forget.. and you know this. It's getting worse .."

"My semantic memory is not harmed , which is responsible for general facts but my episodic memory which can allow me to recollect my personal facts is damaged .. " he articulates.

"Are you sure? Did you check with a doctor ?" I announce.

"I went to the hospital .. and they confirmed it " he acknowledges.

I take a breath out and pace around myself calming myself down.

"What about your family art? Do they know?" I ask horrified.

"No .. no one knows . " he says helpless.

"It's okay .. it's okay we can figure it out , I'm sure there's a cure or something " I say frantically in denial of what is happening.

"No bella! Not everything can be planned and solved easily , for god's sake I don't feel sad or in pain while talking about what happened to your father nor even my brother .. because i can't reminisce it happening ! "He shouts.

"I feel distant from who I am .. and from everyone around me .. I don't want to feel that way with you too " he whispers.

"I live by wrong and right not feelings .. "

"That's why I always live in the moment, that's what I can only give for you and that's not fair "
He finishes.
"Just let me go "

"You're selfish "I blame.

"You can't take that decision by yourself "I plead.

" yes I can " he says without a doubt and leaves the letter on the doorstep.

"When I first saw the letters when we were in your room. I immediately recognized my handwriting but I didn't know what to tell you..because I myself didn't know how or why and it scared the shit out of me.. that's why I decided to look more into it with you" he says anxiously.

"I have to go " he says as he walks away, I desperately hold his arm.

"What if this letter wasn't for me .. and you're mistaken " I try uselessly one more time to doubt and deny everything he said.

"Believe me I tried to convince myself that It wasn't you.. but I already asked the guards, who was responsible for sending the letters and Damon told me about it all. He verified my concerns " he clarifies.

"Don't go please "

"I have to .. don't try to call or meet me please "
He pauses for less than a second and slowly walked away leaving me alone.

I fell down to my knees and let it all out.
My heart ached for dad , why dad .. why .. you should have asked him for help . I can't believe you were such an amazing dad till the end .. whom I don't deserve.
Whom I haven't visited since the day he died in his grave.
I kept crying and letting out ugly sounds , that I felt Like I was drowning again.
I held my face in my hands and close my eyes .
Art was beside me all along ..
He was the one who comforted me through his letters when I didn't even know.

I get inside the house and ran to my room with the letter in my hand.
I opened it as I sat on my bed and skipped all the parts he told me and reached the parts he didn't say.

"My dad didn't even care .. he didn't show his remorse or sadness . He sent his secretary to keep my brother's identity confidential just because of his position ..
My brother was a wonderful man..
Yes his life hit rock bottom but he used to be there for me always..
We're all fucked up anyway .. we just try hard not to lose control .. and he lost  control . I hope you find it in your heart to forgive him.
I debated whether or not to tell you that I met your dad before he died ..
My brother was drunk and we were fighting and god how I wish to remember what was it, in that moment your dad was passing the street.
The car hit him , that's when My brother blacked out.
I tried to save your father , even crawled to him but I was too unstable and weak..
I'm sorry.
He loved you so much. His last words were to deliver the daisies he brought for you, using his little amount of his energy to point at your house.
He leaded me to you.
I really want to meet you in person and tell you about this all.
But I'm afraid .. you'd hate me.
That's why I send one of my guards every year to deliver my letters to you.
I don't even know your name ..
But then again, you'll always be that someday I'd love to see even if it scared me.
I hope we can meet some time in the future when I have the courage .
I hope we can meet even if it's by coincidence.

Sincerely , J

You did meet me Art.
You became my perfect someday that came true..
Furthermore you met me .. your someday that you wished to see.
But you were wrong about one thing,

I loved you ..
I never did hate you.