Safe Haven - Book One [BxB|18+]✓

Prologue

Maybe this is what they want. To get rid of the pest in their life. They will finally have what they wish for. This is for the best. By removing myself from their life.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of pretending.

I'm tired of living.

As I keep my eyes closed, I feel tears coming out as they dampen my eyelashes and slowly slid to my temples, pooling out on my ears. Pictures of him coming out in front of my lid, replaying in front of my covered orbs. I'm silently feeling grateful to my own brain for acting as a projector. At least I can finally see him. One last time.

Memories of me and him keep playing in front of my closed eyes. His chuckle. The way he held out his hand out to me. His hearty laughter, the way his head tilt. His warm eyes, the way he looks at me. His smile, those gentle smiles.

Him and me sitting beneath our lone tree.

Damn.

I'm going to miss him. I'm going to miss him a lot.

My tears starting to fall rapidly as I keep closing my eyes. Realizing that I will never see him again. Not being able to see my favourite smile one last time.

I don't want this to stop. I don't want to open my eyes. I'm afraid I won't be able to see him again if I do.

I pray silently for him. Pray so the pain he will have of losing me forever won't be too long.

I'm sorry for hurting you. I never meant all of it. I just want you to be happy, even if you'll hate me in the end. I'm sorry for leaving you. It is the only way I can think of to set you free. I just want to see you spread your wings. To fly as far away as possible. Even if that means you'll eventually leave me here alone.

I can't fly, I can't reach you, I'm not equivalent to you. I'm a defect.

Yet, I can't seem to stop loving you.

It's wrong, I know how truly wrong it is. But I can't help it. My heart doesn't listen to me. All of the odds seem nothing, my brain stops thinking rationally and my desire to leave is instantly defeated when I see you.

You don't even need to smile, you just need to stand there, not even need to take a glance at me. You just need to exist, and my world instantly revolves around you. Your presence alone makes me want to give everything I have to you.

I'm sorry for being weak.

I'm sorry for loving you.

I'm sorry that I make you suffer.

I'm sorry that you met me.

I'm sorry that I made you cry.

I'm sorry for being an asshole.

I'm sorry to make you love me.

I'm sorry for being tired.

I'm sorry for giving up.

I'm sorry for leaving first.

Please be happy, be happy for yourself. Don't cry for me.

Please forget me, don't remember me.

I really am sorry, for existing in your life.

I love you.

Always,

Goodbye.

My safe haven.

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